I just made a chocolate fountain!

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Cupcakes 1, Chairman Pow 0

Because I’ve been eating prune kolacke like a octogenarian (and the girlfriend was a bit tired of the aftereffects) and we couldn’t find a halfway decent cake to save our lives, she decided to bring home some stuff to make cupcakes. Of course, not being the sorts to actually bake a cake when prune kolacke are available (I thought they were blueberry!), we had to acquire all sorts of baking accessories.

Finally, with all assembled, I decided to surprise her by making them before she got home. To do this, I had to get over my fear of breaking eggs (don’t ask). Surprisingly, that went well until I realized that I had forgotten the butter in the toaster oven!

I grabbed the butter out and saw that the little tray that was supposed to save you from doing something stupid like putting things that drip excessively was nearly full and threatening to drip onto the heating elements.

Fortunately, I saved the butter in time, but unfortunately, I found out that I was nearly too stupid to use the toaster oven.

Then began mixing. I put everything into the bowl and started whisking. Man, this is boring I thought and decided to go whisk where I spend some of my finest moments - squatting on the kitchen floor.

See, while I whisked on the little buther’s table, I ran the risk of dropping the bowl on the floor. If I were to whisk on the floor, I couldn’t possibly drop the bowl, or even make a mess. And whisk I did.

Seeing no need to hold onto the bowl, I let it sit there. It was loaded with enough cupcake mix to stay in place, so I figured that it was OK to stop holding it.

Of course, there were still some pesky clumps of mix in the bowl (how am I supposed to know you’re supposed to use hot water to get the mix to separate properly?) so I decided to whisk faster. The increased speed of the whisking caused the bowl to rotate and the cake mix to centrifugally climb the walls of the bowl.

Mesmerised by my little science experiment, I decided to spin faster. The mix crept further up the sides.

Some sort of Victorian “higher, faster, stronger” feeling took hold of me and I spun that sucker as fast as it would go. All of the sudden, chocolate, no longer constrained by gravity, flew from the bowl.

I let go of the whisk and the bowl started to tetotter dangerously as it continued to spin and eject cake mix. I thought about grabbing the bowl, but the edges were sharp and I didn’t want to risk it. Besides, the clattering sound combined with the pretty designs of the splattered chocolate was delightful.

Eventually, the bowl settled down and stopped spinning. I picked it up and filled the tins. Everything was right with the world.

Until I looked at the clock and realized that I only had a half hour to remove an edible Jackson Pollack painting from the kitchen floor.

Fortunately, she called and said she was a little late getting out of the office, so I should be OK. Even if I missed a spot, I think I could get out of any trouble - I got sprinkles.

Whew. I thought you meant something totally different by “chocolate fountain” and debated mightily whether or not to open the thread.

The first sentence of your story did nothing to alter my expectations, either.

We had a chocolate fountain at work yesterday to kick off the United Way campaign. Several gallons of *good * melted chocolate, with a vast array of fruits and shortbreads to dip in it. Wow!

Oh no. I can’t get the floor clean. T-10 to me having to use the emergency sprinkles…

But aren’t you glad you did?

A note for people planning to make cup cakes: you can’t fill the cups to the edge. Doing so will make a mess in the stove, but will remind you that you need to change the battery in the smoke detector.

Crap. She’s coming up the stairs. Maybe I can say that I saw covering the floors in chocolate on TRADING SPACES.

Whew, fortunately she was hungry and I managed to buy her off with some tacos I made.

Yeah, I was fearing a “tubgirl” type story…

I also had some trepidation about opening the thread. Then I thought maybe he put too much baking soda in his cupcakes and that’s what he meant so I decided to take a look. I did that once with a cake I made and it looked like a volcano as it baked. Fortunately I had put the cake pan on a baking sheet and the cake that was left in the pan wasn’t bad.

For the record, I never saw “tubgirl” before this.

Also for the record, we can no longer be friends.

CP,

Yup. Google has a dark side too. Be careful what you search for.

Just curious: what kind of cake mix needs butter (most call for oil, eggs and water) and how can a bowl have sharp edges?

Supermoist cupcakes. And moist they are. Not only did I really screw up making them, but I also developed a way to make fully cooked moist-as-all-hell cupcakes. Hot damn they’re good. Unfortunately, the icing was OTS so that blows. Will have to learn to make my own.

I have pictures.

Just out of curiosity, how much butter did you use Chairman? Because moist-as-all-hell/hot-damn-they’re-good cupcakes sounds really tasty.

brings Chairman Pow a chocolate cupcake, with sprinkles

That’s hard to say. The instructions called for 6…tablespoons (you can tell that I’m an amateur, no?)? I forgot to take the butter out of the refrigerator, so I put it in the toaster oven on “Keep warm.” Then, the events of the story occured. I had no idea how much melted off, but maybe as much as 1/5. Then, when I dumped it in the mixer it still hadn’t softened very much so I whisked and mushed the butter up to get it to take better. I realized that I was running out of time as the fountain spewed so I dumped the mix into the tins and took out the lumps of butter that still remained. It appeared that there were approx 1-2 tablespoons extracted.

I’ll leave the math to you, but I think experimentation (as much as your dentist will allow you) is the best idea.

Also, even if you have nice big muffin tins, be sure to put a cookie sheet under them or else your girlfriend will yell at you when the delight of cupcakes and tacos wears off.

Thank you but my teefs really can’t handle any more.

Thanks Chairman!

And I hope your “teefs” feel better soon!