I’m always grotesquely late with these things. Pepper Mill and I can’t get a babysitter, so any adult movies keep getting put off untilo they’re on video, and then some.
You might remembver I ranted about Troy and its gratuitous departures from mythology. I’m not naive – heck, I’ve written plays myself. I know the importance of keeoping things movingg, and interesting, and that one shouldn’t be tied slavishly to a text. But some of the things they did in Troy were like making a film about the American Revolution which featured a scene with John Adams disemboweling George Washington. It’s interesting, showy, and bloody, and it clearly demonstrates that you’re not letting a slavish devotion to historical accuracy get in the way of telling a rousing good story. But people are going to talk.
Compared to King Arthur, Troy was slavishly devoted to its source material.
This clearly isn’t ther Arthur of Malory or Geoffrey or T.H. White. It’s gritty Tomano-Celt and Roman and Saxon, with lots of battles and gore. On the other hand, it’s not remotely the Arthur of history, either, unless it’s in some parallel universe. Arthur himself seems to be a romano-celt, a many have held, but his knights are all Sarmatian horsemen, brought from Central Europe, apparently because the Romans liked their horsemanship.Nobody has ever suggested anything like this. This includes a sorely out-of-place Lancelot.(Lancelot first shows up in the French romances of Chretien de royes, and he’s tied to Brittany) Merlin is leader of the “Woads”, and Guinevere is also a Woad. You know they’re Woads because the Romans call them that and because they’re daubed blue. But what are the Woads? They don’t seem to be the celts, because the peasants are ordinary folk (unless they’re like a guerilla group). Maybe they’re supposed to be Picts or something. In any event, the historical Merlin seems to have been a bard or something, who existed, if at all, at a different time than Arthur. Guinevere may have existed as a celt, but this is her first appearance as Warrior Princess. Well, if she’s not going to carry on with Lance or with Morderd, what else is she gonna do? (There is no Morderd).
There’s a Saxon army, but the leader is Cedric, not Hengist or Horsa. For no good reason, they’re up above Hadrian’s wall, menacing a Roman villa and camp which is also north of the wall. None of these people have any business being there, or any practical excuse for being there, either.
The Romans are there, and they’re pulling out of Britain. This isn’t like any withdrawl you’ve ever seen – not a gradual leaving, as happensd in reality. The Romans seem to have a timetable, and a definite date for when they all have to be ouit. It’s like they don’t want to lose their security deposit or something.
Before Arghur and his men can get their discharge papers and obtain free passage to Sarmatia, they have to perform one last mission – rescuing the Roman family. They’re pissed about this, but they do it, engaging Cedric’s army of thousands with their band of seven men (they frequently seem like the Seven Samurai, or The Magnificent Seven, defending peasants from an army of Bad Guys) in ludicrous battle tactics and winning. It looks gritty, but completely unconvincing. Cedric can’t beat Arthut’s men even before Arthur teams up with Merlin’s Woad guerillas. This makes you worry less about him as a credible threat. (Although, in good movie mode, he kills his own rebellious men, like Ernst Stavro Blofeld, as well as innocent civilians. so you know he’s a Bad Guy) In the end, of course, he gets defeated.
This isn’t the Arthur of Legend. But it’s not remotely the Arthur of History. Too many things don’t even make a lick of sense. There are a few nods to the Argur of legend – a Round Table, the names of Argthur’s closest men, Merlin and Guinevere. In the alternate ending a kid struggles to pull out a sword, and the battyle is said to be Mount Badon. But it’s all superficial – none of it says “Arthur” It’s a historical epic cut from whole cloth , unrelated to the epoch with weindow dressing to make it seem plausible. The screenwriter also did Gladiator. I’m not surprised.