I just went to my first strip club!

No, I wasn’t dancing, so let’s clear that up first.

The hubby and I (I’ve disappeared for about 3 months now–what with getting married, honeymoon, moving, blah blah blah) were needing a night out. We were going to play last weekend, but he had a really nasty flu with a scorching temperature, so we wound up lounging most of the weekend. Come Wednesday, when he was feeling pretty much himself again, we decided to Get Out. Spring fever! We went out to dinner, and then decided to go to a fancy nudie place.

Some background–I’ve been curious about going to such a club for quite a while now. Actually, there were plans for doing just such a thing for my bachelorette party–then my bridesmaid planning the party got sick, and the whole thing fell through. (boooooo!) When I suggested going sometime, the hubby–understandably–lit up. (In fact, while we were planning the evening, Bri suavely suggested: “Let’s get out, do something. Go to a movie, go to a strip club, get dinner, go to a strip club, get a drink…”)

We went to what Bri described as the fanciest nudie place he’s been to, a place I’ve seen advertised (and laughed at often) called The Spearmint Rhino. I’m not sure what mint flavoring and endangered African wildlife have to do with nekkid wimmin, but it sure was a fancy place. All of the women were (fairly disappointingly) blessed with lithe bodies and gifted plastic surgeons. We saw more silicone last night than we’d anticipated; in fact, just two of the girls had real breasts. Still, the fake ones were very nice jobs.

The dancing itself was interesting. I liked how some moved, and I found it very strange that with nearly every dancer, they got naked below the waist before above it. Odd. I wasn’t particularly aroused, but I did make some mental notes of moves I’d like to imitate for the new hubby later on in a far more satisfying private dance. :slight_smile:

Only one of the many dancers walking around fishing for lap dances asked if either of us would want one–and that same dancer seriously asked us five or so times that night. I’d think couples are that rare in a strip joint, but still, we were largely left alone. And you know, that’s a good thing. Watching stippers is cool, but lap dances are still a little creepy for me.

I thought some of it just has to torture men. Not that they were complaining, but the men at the tip bar would have legs wrapped around their heads and crotches shoved within inches of their face–and yet could…not…touch. (That’s the only part that made me uncomfortable, really.)

It was “amateur” night–although none of the competing dancers were exactly neophytes. We made friends with a friend of a competitor, who explained that “Kris” actually dances regularly elsewhere. Apparently, “amateur” is someone who doesn’t work at the club, but does dance somewhere else.

Except one. Oy. The last dancer was definitely an amateur. She was about 10 years older than the others, and a bit more rounded and dimpled than them as well. She stripped down to an ill-fitting thong to Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” and during one part of the dance–I kid you not–she laid out a beach towel, poured bottled water on herself, and then sprinkled a box of C&H sugar over her breasts. At the end of the dance, she was handing the box to a reluctant guy at the tip bar who, well, poured sugar on her. This was soon followed by “Stage maintenence to the dance floor!” over the PA system.

I’m not sure there’s much of a point to this, except to share the experience. It certainly was one, to say the least, and I truthfully really had a good time.

So there.

…and there was much rejoicing…yaaaaay…

I swear I’ve got the best wife in the world.

SO glad you two hit the seedy side a’ town. Says a lot for you two, and may give some ideas to either one. Bravo! May you enjoy nice things with each other as a result.

And Death, you may have the best wife in the world NOW, but I ain’t married at the moment. When I get around to it, I hope to challenge you on that point!

Ruffian, I was going to ask “And how much money did you make?”, but you disposed of that with the first sentence of your post.

Instead, I’ll ask WHY WASN’T I INVITED? :confused: :mad:

Aw, [b/c’mon!** No one want so share their strip club experiences? I’m curious to know how typical mine was. No one wants to swap stories and stuff?

C’mon, teemings, dish the dope! Share! I’m sure more than enough of you would like to hear the stories! :slight_smile:

I had a lap dance once :slight_smile:

Some Russian girl, I distinctly remember the sweet smell of her skin. But yeah, I was grabbing to the chair shivering and sweating all over like the horny 17 year old I was because she was that good. I even started a conversation afterwards hehehe.

It was fun…


I’ve only been to a couple, and am always surprised at how attractive most of the women are. It’s even more frustrating because I know these women aren’t sluts; they’re just doing their job and probably wouldn’t think about dating someone who watches gilrs in stripclubs. Obviously, you aren’t getting any at the end of the night, whereas at a normal bar, you aren’t seeing gorgeous naked women, but you may get lucky. So, while I can understand why guys like stripclubs, I’ve never really understood them, and I’m usually too uncomfortable to join in. Besides, on the occasions I did go, I walked out with a real dirty feeling. Maybe I needed to drink more.

Took the Mrs. to a nudie bar, Crazy Horse Saloon, Paris, France.

The first time I went to a strip club was for my my 21st birthday. No kidding! I was searving on the Grand Jury in N.J., when it was decieded by some of the other members that I should be taken out to lunch to celabrate. The was a stripper bar in Trenton at that time called The Annex. A bunch of us jurors and the assistant DA walked the few blocks over to the bar and proceeded to have a surprisely good meal with somewhat good dancing that I really didn’t pay too much attention to because all the men in the group grabbed the chairs that faced the bar where the dancers worked. One of the dancers did come over to the table when she was finished and sat down to talk with the ADA. They seem to know each other quite well. Hmmm…

P.S. This happened longer ago than I care to remember. The all male strip nights some of the bars had where a lot more fun to go to.

I’ve only been to a strip club once. I was a groomsman at a friend’s wedding last year, and the bachelor party wound up at a place in Baltimore called Night Shift. It was a good time, but I found myself underwhelmed by the dancers. They were all very attractive (especially one redhead with multiple tattoos and piercings–which I didn’t even know I was into), but I quickly realized that they only hung around as long as you kept giving them cash. Yeah, I know, of course they do. But it was no big deal, certainly not impressive enough for me to go back. Until my next buddy gets married, that is. I’m about to be in my third wedding party in a couple months. You’d think I’d be getting frequent tuxedo miles or something.