Another “not quite ready for the pit” rant".
I live in Denver. Not I the “I live in the area near Denver but I figure no one would recognize the name of my town, so I tell people it’s Denver” kind of living, but the “within the city limits, straight streets with numbers, 8 houses per street block, and 3 convience stores with walking distance” living in Denver. So why is my property the wild kingdom? I have a 60 foot by 120 ft land area, With the house taking up a decent portion of it.
I am woken up every morning at 5:30 by 10ish parent birds and 30ish chicks in 5 nests(including one huge ass magpie nest) discusing that day’s meal plans.
I went out to start up my truck that I don’t drive that often because it gets horrible gas milage, but start up at least once a month so the fluids don’t separate. One pissed off moma skunk, and 6 little baby skunks(If you’ve never seen a baby skunk they are the cutest thing you will ever see) go running for the rufuge of the … I have no idea. There is no refuge in the city, what the hell were they thinking.
My house is covered in hundreds of baby spiders. I guess a couple egg sacs hatched, and now I keep getting startled when a dust spec on the wall moves and it takes me a second to realize it is a spider less than 1/16 of an inch including legs.
Then I’m coming home at night after work. Pulling into my driveway, out of the dark I see 12 glowing eyes. As my lights swing around I see a raccoon and 5 little raccoons giving me a look that makes it clear they would be giving me the finger if they had the dexterity.
I need to get a big dog and mean cat who will help inform the animal kingdom that if I’m not having sex on my property then nobody else should either. 
Sell the house property to some goverment agency that cares for the wildlife, and see that they make your former home an urban wildlife refuge. Then with the money go and find a home someplace else. Everyone is happy, no?
Or get married to a nice animal-loving babe and join in the fun! 
Move the live spiders outside (don’t spray them!) - the birds’ll love them. Yum.
Nix on the cat, unless you keep in indoors all the time. Cats will still hunt birds and other critters, even if they (the cats) are well-fed. Not to mention that the skunk and raccoons can do a serious number on the household pets - A neighbor’s cat is still recuperating from tangling with a mama racoon (the high-pitched screams we heard was the cat’s reaction to getting nearly eviscerated). Fewer things worse than a mean ol’ mama raccoon with an attitude.
Then again, next breeding season, try to videotape the critters ‘in action’: great for lots of laughs at your next dinner party. We have some great shots of squirrel porn in the tree just outside my office window. If only the damned things would stay still long enough for me to put the black tape over their eyes (to hide their identity).
I saw the title of the thread and immediately thought “Utah”
SIX baby skunks? The most I’ve ever seen at once is three. They must be getting plenty to eat somewhere.
I feel for you with the racket at dawn. I am not a morning person, and I live in a semi-rural area near a national park. Thought it would be quiet. WRONG. It’s probably quieter next to an airport at 5 am than it is at my house. Plus we have deer that come out of the woods at night and eat the bushes right in front of the bedroom window. Of course the bed is against that wall. It’s very weird waking up at 3 am and hear munching sounds about 3 feet away from your head. There is nothing delicate or dainty about it. They sound like moose.
And then there was the spider I found the other day hanging out behind the toilet that was as big as the palm of my hand, and the june bug that flew out of the pants I had hanging in the closet, almost causing me to crap the pants I had on …
Where have all the animals gone- long time passing
I used to live next door to a wooded lot and used to see sqirrels, raccons and woodpeckers. Now that the lots been cleared and built upon, all I see are birds. I sure do miss those animals 