Of course for those who prefer licking a Trappist Monk’s toes to licking a beautiful woman’s nipple, there is always limburger cheese with brevibacterium linens stomped into it by the tender and oh so fragrant unwashed tootsies of the Lord’s minions.
I had some shredded supermarket cheddar and some shredded supermarket mozzarella in my fridge. A couple of nights ago, I snagged a few pinches of the cheddar for a snack while watching a Randolph Scott western. It tasted slightly acrid and musky.
Being disappointed in my supermarket shredded cheddar, I threw it out and dug into the mozza instead. It also tasted slightly acrid and musky. In fact, it tasted pretty much the same as the cheddar. It made me wonder if all supermarket cheese is the same cheese with different food colouring added (but that would not surprise me, given that mozza cheese and white glue are pretty much the same stuff at different points of the casein spectrum).
Meanwhile, my cat Buddy was playing with the neighbours dog. Eventually the dog curled up and went to sleep and Buddy came over to encourage me to play with him. Buddy had a slightly acrid and musky odour, not unlike the supermarket shredded cheeses.
Now Buddy is a fastidious indoor cat, so smelling slightly acrid and musky is not in his nature. Knowing this, I went over and sniffed the neighbour’s dog, eliciting a “What the fuck?” glance from her. Sure enough, she smelt more than slightly acrid and musky. No doubt about it, she had been in the vicinity of a skunk.
Now far be it from me to suggest that supermarket shredded cheese is no more than skunky congealed wood glue, but my nose knows what it knows.
Sadly, this is not true for everyone.