Like I said, I don’t know how people stay together w/ HUGE differences.
If this is how you feel, then yeah, divorce might be preferable. I suspect that would be my preference as well.
Or maybe you could ask if her pastor would provide counseling? 
And, because that irreligious person has been telling them things that they want to hear, and appointed a lot of judges whom they believe will do the things that they want (particularly overturning Roe v. Wade).
Some also see him as a “modern-day Cyrus,” a reference to a Persian king who was seen as an “instrument of God”:
Everyone has their own limits. Personally, I couldn’t find a way past my wife being a Trump supporter. I just couldn’t. (I’ve told her that). Luckily, we’re on the same page about Trump and most things.
Life is short, and while all relationships require effort and compromise, I couldn’t share my life, my dreams, and my home with someone who would not be repulsed by everything Trump represents.
My mother’s not an Evangelical, or even religious, but I’m in a similar boat in that my mother has fallen down the online rabbit hole these last few years in regards to Trump, vaccines (not just COVID), the “stolen” election, and other issues. The results are that I really can’t talk to my mother about anything of consequence because I simply don’t respect her opinion. i.e. I feel alienated. I haven’t cut her off or anything, I still visit her each week, but I don’t really look forward to the visits. It’s more about meeting an obligation. But this is also bundled in with a lot of mental health issues my mother has. She’s practically a shut in with very little meaningful contact with others other than through the internet.
I think @Velocity gives good advice. You can’t talk her out of it. Once in a while I’ll ask my mother why she thinks something is true (Why do you think the election was stolen when almost every court has thrown out suits related to the election?), but for the most part I don’t try anymore. I just nod my head and say okay. And it’s to the point now where she really won’t bring things up very often and I’ll try avoiding bringing it up as well.
Of Ivermectin, my mother, the retired nurse, believes that farmers routinely use Ivermectin to the point where some of them spread it on their toast in the morning. She believes this because her totally reliable friend in Virginia, who lives on a farm, says this is true.
I still don’t quite get it either. My Evangelical Christian brother-in-law voted for Hillary in 2016 because he couldn’t find it in himself to vote for Trump. I used to respect Evangelicals, in that I believed they were sincere about their beliefs, but as a whole, they’ve demonstrated otherwise and they’ll sell out to anyone they think will give them what they want.
I’ve heard that argument. I like to remind them that the Jews did not choose Cyrus but that the Evangelicals chose Trump. It falls on deaf ears though.
There IS one method I’ve heard of trying to convince people with illogical beliefs of the error of their ways that might sometimes be effective, possibly, in some few rare cases.
Start with making a sincere effort to understand the person’s point of view. The end result they desire may not be all that different from yours, it’s just the method by which they believe it can happen that is illogical.
So you might start with something like “you want (X) outcome. I want that too. And you feel that the best way to accomplish that is (Y) belief.”
Then move on to the Socratic method of argument, which is asking questions about how (Y) belief will accomplish (X) outcome. This is where it can easily go off the rails-- it can’t be done in a badgering, sarcastic or angry way-- “why in the HELL would you think (Y) belief could possibly accomplish (X)??”
If it’s done in just such a way as to convince the person that you’re sincerely trying to understand their point of view, hopefully their attempting to answer your questions will allow them to realize the gaps in the logic of their belief system on their own.
Thank you for the article about Cyrus. It goes a long way to explaining why they’d back a sinner, though it does seem a bit like rationalizing their hypocrisy.
Extreme patience is all that has got me this far but, I fear even I have limits.
Here he can find common ground with Trump. Trump was vaccinated. Trump got the booster shot. Tell her how thankful you are that Trump was responsible for the vaccine and everyone should follow President Trump’s lead and get vaccinated.
I find it impossible to respect any Trump supporter.
There’s your mistake. You are confusing ideology for truth.
The left doesn’t have a monopoly on truth. Political parties are not based on truth. Democrats believe just as much bullshit as Republicans, because both get lied to by their leaders and everyone is motivated as much or more by tribalism and mood affiliation as by facts and reason.
The real problem is elevating politics to such a level of importance that you risk ruining an otherwise happy relationship over it. In terms of the things that actually affect your life, which party is in the White House or State House is way down the list. Your neighborhood association is more important. Your city government has more power over your life. Your job, your spending choices, your kids, how you treat each other, your friends, your school… all of these things have much more impact on your life than whether or not Donald Trump or Joe Biden is president.
In an ideal world, no one should give a shit who you support any more than they really care which football team you care about. But we have elevated politics to a state religion, And 24/7 media inundates you with politics, and it has come to define and divide us into tribes.
If you want to do your bit to make the world a better place, as well as improve your marriage, stop caring so much about partisan politics. Put it in perspective with the other things that make much, much more difference in your life. And give your wife the courtesy and respect to allow her space for her own beliefs, even if you think they are ‘wrong’.
Even if Trump had some modicum of responsible for the vaccine. He likely did it out of malice and self-interest. I cannot be thankful for that.
I didn’t say be thankful. I said to say you are thankful. Is the point to get her vaccinated or something else?
If that’s the kind of ‘truth’ you demand your wife accept, I do 't think she’s the problem. Especially since you admit that you are the one pushing such ‘debates’.
Ideaology is a rational system of ideas.
Any worthwhile ideology MUST be based on TRUTH.
citation?
May I introduce you to the concept of “revealed truth.”
https://philosophyisnotaluxury.com/2012/08/empirical-truth-and-revealed-truth/
The problem with Trump is not his politics. Imagine your wife supports a kangaroo for President. You could say that’s a political disagreement, or you could say she is supporting an idea that is completely irrational and unworkable. Trump was utterly unsuited for the position, due to moral, ethical, intellectual failings beyond anything we’ve seen before. That can’t be shrugged off as “politics.”
Hang on, I have to clean the coffee off my keyboard.
It’s nice you believe that. In an ideal world, that would be great. In our world, believing that is nuts. Ideology in the modern world is more about tribal affiliation, virtue signalling, and joining a group that ‘fits’ your character better than others. Truth is the last thing that defines an ideology.
The problem really starts when you think your tribe has a monopoly on truth. That’s when minds close and people stop evaluating evidence.
Every asshole despot in history, right or left thought they had ‘truth’ on their side. Try to be more open minded.
Of course it can, because politics is not (or should not be) the defining element of your life. If your spouse believed other ‘wrong’ things, would you ruin your relationship over it? His wife is a Christian, he is not. That’s already a HUGE gulf in belief systems that actually could affect everything from how they spend their Sundays to their entertainment choices to how the children are raised. He’s willing to let that go, but believing Trump wasn’t a monster is a bridge too far? What kind of screwed up value system leads to that outcome?
Would you leave your spouse if they believed in ESP? If I believe JFK was assassinated by a single person and my wife thinks it was a conspiracy, should I risk my marriage by constantly browbeating her over the TRUTH?
Yelling at people who won’t accept your ‘truth’ is what the internet is for. Keep the political debates out of your marriage. If you want to have a marriage.
Compared to supporting Trump, the above would be no issue at all.
To me (YMMV) none of those things approach the repulsiveness of supporting Trump. Perhaps you have to be an American to understand, I could be married to a Reagan supporter, a Bush supporter, a Romney supporter, or even a religious person, despite strong disagreements. A spouse accepting Trump is a different thing altogether.