I Love Women, but I don't think the Bible does.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Creation V. Evolution
And The Saga of the Role of Females according to the Bible and Nature.

It is a story of finite absolutisms, and by “finite aboslutisms”, I mean FACTS. And by facts, I mean shit that can’t be argued.

Chapter 1
“… and then God creates man, which was cool for a while, but God gets bored while man is off playing with Dog, and Elephant, havin’ sumbitch times of their lives, talking to eachother, buildin’ treehouses and playin’ “Fort” with bedsheets and clotheslines, and campfires and shit, so God creates Woman, Suddenly, Woman thinks she is smarter than God, Woman gets us all booted out of Eden…” The Bible

"…and by some unexplainable force, Nitrogen and Oxygen, with Carbon and 11 secret herbs and spices, combine with a strike of lightning (ala Dr. Frankenstein …*Schtein! *Ref: Wilder), and one-celled life becomes creatures that evolve into Spiders and Praying Mantises, and of which, the females of both species willingly kill and eat their male counterpart shortly after sex, under the latitude of “it’s best for the children” . Funny how she is the one that gets to live. " Darwin.

Chapter 2
(This next shit gets real DICEY, even for me…but…)

Jesus hangs around a STONE-PACKING crowd with a WHORE and a bunch of pissed off JOHNS…darin’ the sinless to throw the first stone…
BUT HE BRINGS LAZURUS BACK TO LIFE, just before 2-for1’s downtown at the club. Jesus was all about playin’ wingman.

Why didn’t Jesus let the crowd kill the bitch, then He could’ve brought her back to life, outta sheer compassion.
It would have been more dramatic, but she was a woman…The Bible

I’m still working on this part, bitches…*Darwin * (see: Spiders/Praying Mantis)

I think my head is about to explode.
And I know you would pay top dollar to watch.

What was the question again, bitches?

To the Vets! This weekend isn’t just about having another day off.

2

I don’t get it. So what’s your point?

3

Reads like a combination of Charlie Farquharson and Eddie Murphy. Brilliant!

4

I suspect the Bible was written by guys who couldn’t get any play with the ladies.

5

“My boyfriend’s back!”

6

Hey, Spock, YOU’RE A FUCKING MORON!

7

Nice OP and shit.

8

You just totally blew my mind, dude.

Or maybe it was the second glass of wine.

9

I missed you, Super K!

10

I saw the name and I go oh he’s back and then
But Ellen Cherry says he’s her boyfriend
So maybe.
and shit.

11

Super Kapowzler
I must admit that somehow
I missed you, and shit

12

Right, so what combination of neuro-transmitteres mis-fired? I was thinking of a serious reply when I open this, but you know when I read the first post, I was like all shit.

13

Oh yeah…

“…then along comes Kangaroo. Gee, thanks mom, this is a real fun time my first day of life and shit. Want me to swim upstream too?” Darwin.

14

Your ideas are too big for this puny message board, and shit.

You should share them by posting on the Repblican party’s new website to gather great ideas from Americans, http://www.americaspeakingout.com/

It’s shit funny!

15

Great! After reading the OP; now I’m against the legalization of pot.

16

And you just changed your title from"Regular Kapowzler." He’s never going to believe that you were waiting for his return now. :frowning:

17

And there’s gonna be trouble.

18

And what does Jesus say afterwards?

“Behold, woman, I have raised you from the dead.”
“Wouldn’t it have been easier just to stop them from killing me in the first place? Do you have any idea how much being stoned to death hurts?”
“But I wanted to demonstrate my power to the multitudes…”
“Showing off you mean.”