And so the Nine left Mordor…
- Winn-Dixie…Deli! *
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of “Turtle Tracks” ice cream. Let alone “Mayfield Turtle Tracks” ice cream. Is this a Southern thing?
Very funny OP, BTW.
I hope you didn’t miss a beat in replying, “I call it the shitter”. Zip and exit stage right.
Wow, Sauron! First you meet the Emperor of the World, and then the Lowest Common Denominator! Maybe I too should forge rings of power, or move to Birmingham.
Yep, the surgeon general really should put a warning label on that Turtle Tracks ice cream, and the effects on the brain.
Mmmmmmmm… Turtle Trackssssssssss… myyy preciousssss
What are “turtle tracks”?
Go for it, Ranger! I understand he and the wife are going through a rough patch. 
Another confused Northerner up here. We are much more moose-oriented with the cutesy names for confections up here, being as I said in the North. Although we do have plenty of turtles, who I believe are buried in mud right now, hibernatin’.
Although if Sauron vouches for Turtle Tracks, it must be wicked good, perchance as good as his writing.
And “Winn Dixie”–some sort of subliminal message? Cause y’all didn’t win…When I go South someday, I must go there. And to a Piggly Wiggly. Just to say I did.
“Birmingham, Birmingham.
Greatest city in Alabam’.
You can travel cross this entire land
There ain’t no place like Birmingham!”
- Randy Newman, “Birmingham”
The scheming bastards!
paperbackwriter: I guarantee you she would’ve received a mighty smiting, had I not been in a weakened state.
cuauhtemoc: I’m fairly certain Mayfield is a Southern brand of ice cream. I can recall my aunt (who lives in Tennessee) having Mayfield ice cream and wondering where it came from; we just got it in Alabama about five years ago. I think it’s based in Tennessee. And Turtle Tracks ice cream is vanilla ice cream with chocolate-covered pecans and caramel-filled chocolate turtles, with a caramel swirl running through the whole thing.
Mayfield has some interesting names for its products. In addition to the aforementioned “Moose Tracks,” they also have “Hog Heaven.” I may love me some ice cream, but I’m not buying ice cream with a cartoon of a grinning pig on the box.
Mehitabel: I’ll probably get kicked out of the Great Southern League of Wrasslin’ Fans and Gerbil Stompers for saying this, but I must admit that despite being born and raised in Alabama, I have no idea where Winn-Dixie got their name.
“I met a fan dancer
Down in Southside, Birmingham
She was covered in Turtle Tracks ice cream
And some Spam …”
Huey Lewis and the News, “Jacob’s Ladder” (sort of)
It’s definitely Southern - I grew up with Mayfield milk and ice cream. The only southern state I lived in that I couldn’t get it in was Mississippi, but they could have it now.
I know they have dairies in Athens, TN and Braselton, GA. I can drive half an hour down the road and tour the Mayfield dairy, if I chose to do so.
Winn-Dixie is creeping ever Northwards… I saw one in Roxbury, MA not ten years ago. Scheming bastards.
I did briefly consider flashing him my meat and saying, “Yeah, well I call this the Intimidator.”
And you thought the South lost the war. Mayfield’s ice cream, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, Elvis worship and the World Wrestling Federation are just * the tip of the iceberg, * bub. Today Massachusetts, tomorrow the world. And then you will * all * be eating Mayfield Turtle Tracks as you watch Jerry Springer with a plastic pink flamingo in front of your double wide and a Confederate battle flag hung in your window.
Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
Hah! I live in the south and I don’t like Krispy Kreme or Jerry Springer! So much for your theor… oh, wait a second, someone’s at the door.
What?
No!
Stop!!! [sub]mmmmph mmmmph[/sub]
I’d send this to the Mayfield Ice Cream Co. just to entertain them. You’ll probably get TONS of coupons!
Send forth your Uruk-hai with some of those big grenade things from Saruman.
Winn & Lovett Grocery Company + Dixie Home Stores = Winn-Dixie.
Oh, and once you have personally visited a Piggly Wiggly, you are allowed to call them “Hoggly Woggly”.
Oink.
Only way I’ll have a Reb flag in my house is for kindling.
Great googly moogly.
[hijack]" I never trust the counter help; I’m always (however discretely) looking over them like a hawk.’ Ya know…I don’t trust those counter guys either…esp after I went to the local Albertson’s one day with CG and spotted a former co-worker from a previous retail place I had worked at behind the meat counter. He is (was???)a reckless teenage hoodlum who would spend entire shifts describing his love of combining golf and pot.His favorite tales always included getting extremely wasted and then going out to a country club and going boinkers with golf carts.I wouldn’t trust him with a Nerf gun much less a meat slicer.[/hijack]
IDBB