Great work! Teemings Extras again?
Oh, yes, you just gotta! And then let us know the response.
I second what Kat said!
Hell of a post, Sauron! Just what I look for when browsing through the BBQ Pit! 
“I motor cheerfully to Winn-Dixie, our local supermarket.”
I love that line.
Great job AGAIN Sauron.
p.s. I was watching “Leave it to Beaver” on TV LAND as I was reading this. And the Cleavers live in…thats right …MAYFIELD!!
Eutychus: By all means, feel free to use this for Teemings Extra. I’d be honored.
I’ll look into sending this to Mayfield (the company, not the home town of the Cleavers). It feels kinda funny to do that, somehow. Not sure why, though.
Sauron,
I didn’t catch if you ended up buying the ham turkey or not. If it had been me, I’d have left it someplace out of the way, like maybe the kitchen implements aisle(does W-D have a kitchen implements aisle? out here Albertsons does, quite fascinating). Someplace where the ham turkey could really take on some flavor and aroma after a couple of weeks. Scheming Bastards.
purgepro,
I did not choose to purchase the pound of Boar’s Head honey-roasted turkey, inasmuch as I did not want a pound (or even a quarter pound) of honey-roasted turkey. I left the package of pseudo-ham in the cheese section, which is refrigerated and thus would not be conducive to quick aroma creation.
As a point of general information, I forwarded the original post to Mayfield Dairies this morning. I alternate between shivering at the prospect of free ice cream for life and shuddering at the potential for some sort of lawsuit for defaming the good name of Mayfield. We’ll see what happens.
so, by choosing to put the “meat” in the cheese section, you have gained some positive karma. not a bad choice.
Am I the only one who thinks this sounds like something sexual? Uncomfortable, but sexual.
We don’t have Mayfield ice cream, but we do have Turkey Hill.
You know, it were me, I would have put my meat in the dairy case instead of the cheese section.
There’s a pickup line: “Excuse me ma’am, may I put my meat in your dairy section?”
My restraint is to be commended for not posting the obvious next joke-in-line…
Well, at Winn-Dixie, it’s all part of the same long section of cooler. There’s milk, then eggs, then packaged lunch meats, then cheeses, then sour cream & dips, and finally juices.
ever respond?
I wonder if Saruman’s device wasn’t in fact …
The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!
Should have guessed it when the Uruk-hai were kneeling before it chanting:
“Countest thy not to five
Neither shalt thou count unto four
Counteth to six is Right Out…”
So you can put your meat in the juices?
That’s hardly a metaphor at all.
For those not familiar with Mayfield’s ice cream, Turtle Tracks and Moose Tracks are the pinnacle of ice creamdom. The first time you try it you say, “Hm. Pretty good”, and think no more about it. Later, you wake up in the middle of the night craving it, and you will drive from store to store until you can find it. You speak of it in hushed, reverent tones. No one shares their stash. If Publix is out of it, you’ll leave the buggy in the aisle and find a Kroger’s. The fudge in the Moose Tracks will bring tears to the eyes of the most callous cynic.
It’s kind of like crack, only with a better reputation.
Sauron is not alone.
You know what I’m seeing on this thread?
A bunch of enablers, that’s what.
I think it’s time to give Sauron an intervention.
Sauron, do you:[ul]
[li]Occasionally eat Turtle Tracks after a disappointment, a quarrel, or when the boss is difficult?[/li][li]Are you able to handle more Moose Tracks than you did when you were first eating it?[/li][li]Have you ever woken up surrounded by empty Mayfield cartons and not known how many you had?[/li][li]Ever sleep with someone pig-ugly after eating ice cream?[/li][li]Are there certain occassion when you would feel uncomfortable if ice cream is not served?[/li][li]Have you ever made promises to cut down on your Turtle Tracks?[/li][li]At parties, do you sneak a few extra cartons of Moose Track in your clothes?[/li][li]Have you ever been stopped for eating ice cream while driving?[/li][/ul]
If you answered “urp” to three or more of these questions, you need to stay the heck away from my fridge.
I’m from Mississippi and I’ve seen it around here in a few stores. I’ve never tried it though – I’ve more of a Blue Bell addict (love the sherbert, mint chocolate chip, and cookie dough).