I met the Lowest Common Denominator at Winn-Dixie!

Feh. Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food is the greatest Ice Cream EVER!

Those who haven’t tried Turtle Tracks are missing out on something truly awe-inspiring. Mmmm. Chocolate covered caramel turtles…

FriarTed, yes, Mayfield did respond. Essentially, it was a “thank you for writing” type of response. No offers of free ice cream were forthcoming. The bastards.

[Quote]
*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious *
Sauron, do you:[ul]
[li]Occasionally eat Turtle Tracks after a disappointment, a quarrel, or when the boss is difficult?[/li][/quote]

Yes. Also when something good has happened, the wife and I haven’t argued for the past ten minutes, or when the boss has gone to sleep. Also on any day that ends in “y.”

[quote]
[li]Are you able to handle more Moose Tracks than you did when you were first eating it?[/li][/quote]

Well, sure. Practice makes perfect. Sometimes I can balance nine cartons in one hand while piloting the grocery cart with the other.

[quote]
[li]Have you ever woken up surrounded by empty Mayfield cartons and not known how many you had?[/li][/quote]

Mom? Is that you?

[quote]
[li]Ever sleep with someone pig-ugly after eating ice cream?[/li][/quote]

Well, no. My wife would kill me. As strong as my love for Mayfield Turtle Tracks ice cream is, my fear of my wife is stronger.

[quote]
[li]Are there certain occassion when you would feel uncomfortable if ice cream is not served?[/li][/quote]

Like when? A funeral? A bar mitzvah? Getting fired? My own decapitation? Hmmm … nope. These are all good reasons for eating ice cream.

[quote]
[li]Have you ever made promises to cut down on your Turtle Tracks?[/li][/quote]

No, but I have promised not to dive headlong into a carton anymore. At least while my wife is around. Mostly.

[quote]
[li]At parties, do you sneak a few extra cartons of Moose Track in your clothes?[/li][/quote]

Heh. “Yes, I am happy to see you, but in fact this is a carton of Moose Tracks ice cream in my pants.”

[quote]
[li]Have you ever been stopped for eating ice cream while driving?[/li][/quote]

Am I not supposed to do that? Great. Next you’ll tell me I shouldn’t eat ice cream in the shower, either.
[/ul]