More dispatches from a dairy queen

  1. To my boss: Fine. I will stop standing near the counter when customers are there. I will stand far away from the counter, since it’s obviously much better not to be able to hear the customers and cashier in the noisy restaurant environment than it is to be within a metre of the counter for more than five seconds at a time.

Whether or not you care is irrelevant. Just because I don’t use sign language or have a hearing aid doesn’t mean I’m not hard of hearing.

  1. Also to my boss: It does you no good to scream at me for something I didn’t do. I don’t care so much that you’re screaming at me for no reason as that the person who actually did do the thing wrong is not learning anything and will get me in trouble in the future. Grabbing the nearest person and screaming at them is an inefficient management technique. Thank you.

  2. To my lovely coworker Sam: No, I did not just grab the sundae rags to wipe up the enormous gobbet of whipped cream on the floor. I grabbed the rag which had already fallen on the floor. It was already dirty from the floor. Deal.

  3. Also to Sam: Very well, I will not “stare down” the customers. Excuse me for trying to maintain polite eye contact. I will now maintain a downcast expression, since the ice cream store has apparently been translocated and is now in one of those countries in which that is considered polite, and no longer in Canada where it is considered sullen.

  4. Finally, another warning to customers. The Pecan Mudslide is no longer on special; but do not get this month’s special (the Brownie Avalanche) either. This time it is not for my protection but for yours. I made the mistake of ordering one on my break tonight. Even with no marshmallow sauce, an hour later I had to go home sick to my stomach.

Maybe it would be good for one of those creatures that has to eat their own weight in sugar daily, or one of those that has to build up energy reserves for the winter, but it is much too sweet for a human being to consume. And that whipped cream seems to be less “edible” and more “oil product”, if you know what I mean.
P.S.: [warm fuzzy] Please don’t think I do nothing about this job but gripe. I remember the really nice and friendly customers and co-workers as long as I remember the evil assholes.[/warm fuzzy]

YOu KNEW I was going to do it!

I would just like to comment that “Brownie Avalanche,” based on knowing the name alone, sounds like something that should only be consumed with a Kaopectate Shake.

Sorry - that’s Brownie Earthquake. It’s an Avalanche Brownie in French.


I have never heard a good thing about fast food managers. I’m sure they’re out there but maybe they are rare? I don’t get it. I would think that he’d love for you to be polite and hear what the customers are saying.


I had this exact same problem with my very first job. I worked at a Mr. Gatti’s pizza place and it was my job to cut pizza and put stuff out on the buffet. If a customer complained to the manager about anything he would immediatly shout at me, in front of the customer, even when he knew I had nothing to do with it. I came to the conclusion that he did this just to show the customer that he was fixing the problem. It really pissed me off.


Great. Don’t stand close enough to hear them and don’t look at them while they talk to you.

Sometimes the little things can build up and make an otherwise pleasant job crappy.

If I might make a recommendation. I know you and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things but here we go. I think you’re intelligent, it seems to me like you enjoy interacting with people, and you’re a nice guy. I know you’re working at DQ because you enjoy things like not starving and having a roof over your head. If you have a chance find another job.

I think from one of your other post in the past you were hired at a bookstore but quickly fired because the manager was a putz. Uh, I think it was you. I think you’d enjoy a job like that a whole lot because you could talk to customers about books, help them find stuff their looking for, and you’d be able check out all the neat stuff that book stores get.

I got a part time job this past spring at a comic book store and I loved it. Mostly because I was interested in the thigns that were sold there and I liked talking shop with staff and customers alike. But that’s just me. Good luck and I hope your coworkers are a little nicer in the future.


First of all, Matt, I love your wit and lack of restraint in these cruxial lactose postings, yet you retain respect. The title of this thread alone slayed me. You rock. I wish to be your cabana boy.

Now, if it were ME walking up to this now fabled Dairy Queen shoppe nestled in the very bosom of the Far North, I’d call the manager over and say in a stern pushy New Yorkey attitude,

What a :wally . So, the Pecan and Brownie combos are off the table. What CAN we order? What is your ABSOLUTE TOP fave thing to make for a 9 year old kid,and your ABSOLUTE TOP fave thing to make for say, a 67 year old woman?

Cartooniverse, now known as Cabana Boy to the stars :smiley:

I just wonder how long he’s gonna last with this job! Not that they’d get rid of him, but that he’d get so disgusted that he’d just up and quit. I know I would.

MGibson, you wondered about fast-food managers; I wonder if Pammipoo will enter this thread? :slight_smile: Apparently, some of them are intelligent, thoughtful creatures. I know she is, anyway.

Matt, if it’s any comfort, I haven’t set foot in a Dairy Queen since the early 1990s, when I took a food science course and found out what additives were put in soft-serve ice cream to give it that slippery texture.

I’m not surprised that your manager’s a putz, but you’re learning a valuable lesson that will serve you well in your career: Jerks and How To Deal With Them. I’m amazed that he wasn’t trained in proper customer service; wanting you NOT to be near the counter and NOT to make eye contact runs counter to every customer service principle I know.

" . . . I found out what additives were put in soft-serve ice cream to give it that slippery texture."

—Well, I for one, am dying to know. Fess up! When I go into a Dairy Queen to order a “Gastrointestinal Brownie Blast” from the shifty-eyed, vomiting guy huddling in the corner, I wanna know what I’m getting!

The two most common ingredients used in soft-serve ice cream to give that really smooth, slippery texture, what the food industry calls “mouth-feel,” are

A)carrageenan, derived from seaweed


B)gelatin from boiled animal offal, like cow anuses, tendons, hooves, and so on.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a cite handy, but I’m sure you can find confirmation in any handy book on commercial food preparation.

There, there, mon homme royale de glacée crême. (God I love!) Your western boytoy will make it all better…

{pours chocolate sauce in inappropriate places} Some of us don’t get ill on a little sugar and chocolate, dear… :wink:


Well, I don’t think I can top Exprix’s morale booster for you but…

Bitch all you want. Food service is difficult, nasty work. I remember being horrified when, as a 17-year old, I job a job at Arby’s and it was revealed that their fries weren’t even cut potatos. They were pressed in the store from lard or some other similar substance. Heck, maybe it was potato, who could tell?

Yuck, I lasted two weeks.

So complain. Lord knows you need it. Heck, I’ll be supportive.

Oddly enough, none of this bothers me. The carrageenan and geletin stories I’ve heard before. I’d rather have plant and animal by-products than some totally manufactured chemical. Besides, by the time I found out this stuff I had already eaten a ton of it.

Then again, I’m weird.

So what’s a guy gotta do to get a Blizzard around here?

Goboy, I gotta disagree that carageenan and gelatin and unwholesome. Both have been used for centuries in foods. Look, the fact is that seaweed is wholesome.

Gelatin is just the protein fraction from normally indigestible animal parts. Every time you make soup or stock from bones you are making your own gelatin. If it is kept hot it will stay liquid, but put home-made stock in the fridge and you’ll get a solid lump.

But both are yummy, natural, healthful foods.

The reason I’m apparently not supposed to go near the counter is that I’m not a cashier. Apparently they’re afraid that a customer might try to order from me. Whatever; I’m not even allowed to stand a foot behind the cashier like Prince Philip and smile pleasantly at them to show I’m ready to spring into action to make their Peanut Buster Parfait or whatever.

As for what to have: I highly recommend Blizzards, especially the fruit-flavoured ones (yes, you can special order); I had a blueberry-pineapple one the other day and it was FABULOUS. I also recommend the smoothies, especially the frozen hot chocolate; the hard ice cream; and the coolers (like a slush except made with real fruit instead of syrup).

Matt-can I at least have a banana milkshake?

Wow Goboy, i dont know why that grosses you out. I’m sure you like men’s anuses just fine :).

Yup, those are nice too.


Well, Doob has a point too…

…i’m gonna go over here now.

::wipes away tears::

I bet you’ll always hit refresh before reply from now on, woncha matt? :wink: