I might take up Caninecide

You know how I once pitted next-doors dog?

You know how I sort of pitted more dogs barking shortly after I got back from a little break?

Trust me, I did. Well now I’m pitting the… thing of… unidentifiable species the other next door have just bought. I only know it fits somewhere under the heading ‘dog’ because only dogs can make a sound that makes you want to take a powerdrill to your ears. This tiny rat is a juvenile dog (calling it a ‘puppy’ would be like calling satan a ‘little girl’.) so it has added screech to it’s brain-liquifying wail.
I swear, people are hearing this sound that makes me want to put my head in a vice and turn the handle, and are thinking “let’s get a dog <evil grin> <drool> <extatic orgasm sound>”

I hate you and so does my dog.

The sad thing is, my dog would probably be ecstatic to see you, even if he has never met you, and would jump on you and slobber all over in a sudden attack of happiness.

But he hates you.


If your dog does not bark like a hammer, and you keep it indoors. The thread is not aimed at you.

If not. I don’t want your love or your dog’s. You’re not going to make me feel guilty for being driven up the wall every. fucking. morning. by dogs left out in terraced yards to bark for hours.

What does Tom DeLay have to do with this?

My cat hates you

If I have to lose the love of cats for this thread. I take it all back. I am a cat person. Maybe a fluffy white cat person <move little finger dramatically to side of mouth and grin>

Never thought I would quote a song here, but there is an Arrogant Worms song that just fits the bill.

“Kill the dog next Door”
Sample lyric, “Gonna kill the dog next door, ain’t gonna bark anymore, 'cause this is judgment day, the little mutts gonna pay. No more turds on my lawn, the stupid mutt will soon be gone. Gonna kill the dog next door”

THIS DAWG also hates you, & will destroy you with his 1920’s Style Bionic Dawg Death Ray Vision!

Holy Krypto, Boy Wonder!

You sure you don’t live three doors up from me Lobsang? :confused:

I’ve got the exact same problem. For five fucking years, Lucky (the dog next door) has barked and yelped at all hours of the day and night, right underneath my upperstorey bedroom window mostly.

And then…the neighbours next door to Lucky got themselves a screaming, whining thing about 6 months ago that THEY leave in their backyard to annoy the fuck out of me too.

I feel like buying a cockatoo and teaching it bad things.


No, no, no… get peafowl! Peafowl!!!

Heh, cockatoo eh.

My neighbors owned one, I called it by its god given name whenever they were within earshot.

By god given name I refer to the book of Genesis;

And God didst creatith all of the animals, the loudest of which shall be known as “The Screaming Ass White Bird”

According to my mother, peafowl are far louder than any other bird.

When she was a girl in the 40’s her parents got a clutch of peafowl eggs, thinking that they would be neat animals to have on the farm.

They ended up getting noice complaints from their neighbors - over a mile away.