I miss Microsoft Mary, do I have any hope of getting her back?

Factual Questions
1

Oh, Microsoft Mary, I never meant to leave you, but it was a work thing, baby. And now I’m thinking about you every day. Your soothing robotic monotone. The way you would raise your voice for quotes and use a low rapid tone for parenthetical remarks. You were complete. You never left anything out. Your at times severe, slightly disapproving tone put a chill up my spine and now I can’t get you out of my head. But the man, baby, the man forced a switch on me to Windows 7 and I was shocked to learn you couldn’t come along for the ride. And now I’m stuck with that bitch Anna with her crazy-ass inflections and garbled short syllables – she claims she’s more natural but I can’t tell WHAT that ho is talking about baby!!! I need you back!

I know Win 7 is an obstacle, but please baby, my own sweet Microsoft Mary, is there any chance for us? Or has Windows become an insurmountable Wall?

Oh, and say hi to your brothers Sam and Mike.

Sincerely,

A Heartbroken TTS User

2

enjoy

3

I tried that, and the program wouldn’t actually produce any audio. However, I’ve had problems with my Realtek HD audio drivers in the past, so it might be related to that.

4

I also tried it and got a half dozen superfluous applications. Including one that supposedly adds a donation to the ASPCA when you use certain online stores. So unless you want to give someone access to your bank accounts, perhaps you shouldn’t follow the directions in that link.

5

Not sure if this will work for Win 7, but try downloading the “Sp5TTIntXP.exe” file from the Microsoft Speech SDK 5.1 page:

“If you want to get only the Mike and Mary voices redistributable for Windows XP, download Mike and Mary redistributables (Sp5TTIntXP.exe).”

Or maybe try the MS voices download on this page (not tested):
http://www.bytecool.com/voices.htm