Friends told me it would be like this. You’d be going through your regular day and suddenly it would hit you, grip you, and shake you real good. I’ve been doing good but the last few days have been real rough. I’ve begun to really ache for mom. I miss her.
Thankfully I have a network of friends who are there for me and have really helped me work through this.
But oh do I miss her.
– IG
This summer will be 14 years since I lost my dad and I still have those moments now and then. The first calendar year was the worst though: All those “this is the first time, we’ve done XXX without dad” moments.
Improv Geek sorry to say but it will be like this for a while - my Mum died in 1999 and I still miss her. I don’t ache like I used to, I can’t really - still have to move on with life. But there are times I’d love if she was around, especially recently. I feel she’s watching over me - hubby believes that she and his Dad (also deceased) got us together (we met on here). I feel her still around me at times and we often talk about her in the present tense still.
Major hugs to you.
This made me very sad 
Hang in there, champ. I suppose it’ll get worse before it gets better. But never forget her.
My Mom died Feb 19th this year.
My Dad’s stepmother is about to die (next 24 hours or so).
I know the feeling.
It does get easier, I promise. It’s been almost 20 years since I lost my Mom. I still miss her, but it’s not the “sharp stab in the gut” anymore; it’s more along the lines of"wow, wouldn’t Mom enjoy that."
{{{hugs}}}
My mom was murdered in 1974.
Right before she was killed, she’d managed to get rid of the man she married when she was 15 (with an 8th grade education) and with whom she eventually had 8 children (my dad). Before she died, all she’d ever been was a wife, mother and menial worker. At that time, she was making plans to further her education, travel, had fallen in love, etc.
It took me years to get over the fantasy that she’d just gone away for awhile and would reappear. I missed her so much I would not even have wondered why she would have disappeared on her children; I just would have been glad to have her back.
The pain does recede, but I still sometimes wonder, “What would she have been like had she stayed alive to pursue some of her dreams and happiness.”
My mom kicked me out December 31st 2006. I haven’t spoken to her since.
Improv Geek, I was so self-centeredly telling my tale I forgot to extend my condolences.
I hope you know I meen it when I say I know how you feel and that it will get better.
I’m so sorry.
My mom died in 1996 of ALS and I still miss her a lot, too. It does get easier, though. Slowly.
I cant say I know the feeling, but I wish you well. Dopers are always here for you!
My aunt did most of the raising of me, though I am very close to my Mom. She died in 1992. I miss her so much still.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
G
I’m sorry, I know how you feel, too. My mom died 11 years ago. It takes a lot of time to recover from losing your mom. You never stop missing her, but the time comes when she becomes a pleasant memory, and you don’t cry when you think of her.
My mom never got to meet my wife or find out I would move here, or any of it. I wish she knew how nice my life is now. I know she’d be happy.
Hang in there. We all have to, there isn’t another option.
When my father died I was sad but the loss, and the real pain, didn’t really hit until a few months later. Even after nearly 11 years I still miss him. I don’t really have anything to say that will make the pain go away but maybe knowing that others share similar burdens will help.
Marc
I’m sorry, Improv. I miss my mother, too. We didn’t always get along, and we often hurt each other, but she was my mother. I miss being able to call her up and talk about politics and what’s going on in the world. I miss her cooking, even salmon casserole with potato chips crumbled on top. I miss her at Christmas. I miss my mother. It’s hard, and you will miss her for a long time, maybe forever, but it gets better with time.
I used to pick up the phone to call her, or think, I’ll have to tell her about… and then remember I couldn’t. It’s hard. Hang in there.
I’m sorry, Improv. My Mom died 20 years ago; my Dad 21 years ago. Whenever I achieve something or feel proud of myself or my daughter, I immediately want to celebrate with my Dad. Whenever something is troubling me, I immediately want to talk it over with my Mom. After all these years, I still can’t get used to the fact that they’re not here. It no longer aches; it’s kind of a bitter-sweet feeling. It took a while to get here.
I share your feelings.
My sister and I buried our parents yesterday. They were wonderful to us.
But we agreed they’d want us both to go on with life, so we are.
Thanks guys. I’m getting through it and doing my best to move on with life. Mom wouldn’t want it any other way. She was my rock though and so it’s tough. I love my dad but I never built that sort of trust relationship with him. He’s always been the one to correct my wrongdoings and provide sage advice, but I have never really turned to him as a confidant. As I grow older it is becoming easier to do that, but up until this point I always turned to mom.
It’s rough. I’ll get through it. I always do. But it sure does suck.
– IG