I MPSIMS house flies

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

You filthy little poop legs. I loathe the way you sneak into the house through the tiniest holes in the screens. I hate the way you hang out near the door, zooming in under the radar when I enter or exit the house.

I hate your incessant, loud buzzing as you fly from window to window, room to room, zigging and zagging. You make me recoil and retch every time I sit down and get comfortable and you appear out of thin air, disrupting everything from a pleasant meal to a nice wank. MUST you interrupt EVERYthing???

I can’t stand how have to touch everything with your filthy, disease and bacteria cesspool…feet or stumps or whatever the hell they are.

And when I finally nail you with a dish towel, I get nauseated when I use a piece of tissue to pick you up but squeeze too hard and I feel you make this disGUSting pop/squish sound. There isn’t enough Meyer’s Clean Day soap in the world to scrub your vile, filthy essence off my hands and out of my soul.

2

Because those two go so well together!

I have those little drain flies…fuckers are *hard * to kill! I feel your anguish.

3

I hate the one that buzzes around my head at 5 a.m., when I’m trying to sleep.

Our dog chases flies and eats them.

4

The common housefly is without a doubt the ugliest looking abomination ever devised by Og. Especially when you flip through the NYT Science Times section and are suddenly confronted with an electron micrograph of one enlarged to the size of a basketball. Something about the total malevolent expressionlessness of the little fucker’s eyes, and their incredibly superfine and precise facets right next to his coarse spiky hair and mouth suckers, makes me want to crawl out of my skin and run in 18 different directions at once. shudder

5

Lighter + aerosol deodorant = flytoast.

Though sometimes it only burns off their wings and you have to squash it yourself.

…what?