I’ll hear a lot of anecdotes about dopers getting harassed in real life. This has a lot to do with personal beliefs, particularly religion.
I live in the Bay Area, and cant think of a time when someone acted judgemental or harassed me for being atheist. I guess my community is pretty tolerant, because I live among many cultures and beliefs, and being an atheist isnt any more unusual than being human. People are pretty live and let live in both my community and work.
My in-laws are Catholic, know I’m atheist and dont care. While i dont consider myself religious, i’ve joined my wife’s family in attending weddings and annual memorial services (I guess they shoehorn a mass in there). Everything is in spanish, and I can only follow a little bit of it, so I just act attentive and zone out over the hour.
I guess this is win-win, because my in-laws really like me, and never press me over my beliefs. I wonder if being a ‘blank slate’ is an advantage, since I see much more friction from groups of different religions- my BiL is Catholic but apparently a “bad Catholic”. Apparently being “good atheist” counts more than being a “bad Catholic” I guess I could be more strident about my atheism and refuse to participate or condone any of their behaviors, but it really wouldnt benefit me at all. As is, the fact that I’m not religious but go with them to religious events like Baptisms gains me a lot of appreciation.
TLDR I’m atheist too but don’t get treated like some pariah for my beliefs.
I’m in the DC area and I also feel like the outlier. From reading this board you would think there are fundy Christians around every corner ready to tackle you and beat you down with their Bibles. What a trial it must be to be an atheist in this country! It’s practically Iran!
As a Christian who does not talk much about it, all I do is get flak about it.
“What, you don’t want to go boozing with us Friday? You don’t sleep with as many women as you can get your hands on? What is wrong with you? You some kind of freak?”
The only other time I see other Christians are in church or in my family.
I’ve never had semi-random people quiz me about my religious affiliations, had co-workers insist that I partake of some religious action, been told by near strangers (or friends) that I’m going to hell if I don’t believe in their church, has neighbors demand to know which church I’d be going to, etc.
It’s a big world so I’m sure it happens. But when people talk as though every day is some evangelical-filled endurance test it just sort of goes right past me because I can’t relate at all.
I have (all of the above), but as I don’t make a big deal of my non-belief it’s fairly rare. Mind you, I’m not saying that the solution is to hide my views on religion; only that because I tend not to talk about it with strangers I don’t get harassed much.
Put me in the group. I’ve never been harassed for my non-belief. I live in the heathen Northeast so that’s part of it. But I spent quite a few years in the south with the Army. I never had a problem.
I was raised Catholic. Sort of. Mom made us all go to church every week until we got confirmed. Then it was our choice. I haven’t been back except for weddings and funerals.
I’ve been hassled by family in rural Indiana for being an atheist, and the fact that my mom is Wiccan. But I don’t get flak in New York (not that I walk around talking about it, either).
I know some people here seem to live in evangelical enclaves, and I’m glad I don’t. I’m sure people have their own reasons for staying, but I think if I lived in a place that hostile I would move away.
I 've asked my wife if she’d ever want to relocate, and she looked at me like I had three heads. While we like to travel and want to visit other places, the fact that we live in such a diverse part of the US alonh with our families means we wouldnt want to move anywhere else. When I get depressed thinking about how much we will have to save and work to afford a house (probably $800,000 :eek: ) I remind myself that anywhere cheaper would be compromising on things we value the most- diversity, schools, commute, and family.
Speaking of family, I guess I’m also an outlier for having a good relationship with my family. Sure i’ll gripe about them, but if anything its a desire to be closer to them. I’m close to my in laws and they are very supportive and helpful.
Yep. Similar experience for me. I don’t live in the bible belt but not far from it and there’s a church of one type or another every 5 blocks or so. Must be a couple dozen of them in a 2 mile radius. Never once has anyone asked or cared what I believe or don’t believe. I’d find it laughable if anyone even suggested that my atheism was some kind of abnormality or insult to their religulous sensibilities.
In short, I’ve never been made to feel “oppressed” in any way, shape or form. <shrug>
Sounds more like you’re dealing with an immature group of friends. Atheists aren’t all drinking and debauchery, you know, despite what the Chick tracts would have the world believe.
I avoid getting crap about my beliefs in the simplest way: by not sharing my beliefs with everyone. If asked I’ll usually say something like “I’m not very religious,” and leave it at that. There have been a handful of times when someone pushes the issue and tries to slip me a Jesus, but it’s always been friendly, never aggressive. They’re probably still praying for my poor soul.
I live in the Bible Belt, and I don’t remember ever being personally harassed for my atheism. I used to work in a place where everyone but me was very Christian and they listened to Christian music all day long. Inevitably, someone asked me if I went to church. I said no.
Why not?
Just not very religious.
Do you believe in God?
Uhhhhh…no.
You’re an atheist?
Yeah.
I braced for the backlash. It never came.
The one time it happened to me, I was browsing the snack aisle in a drug store while on my lunch break when some skinny guy in a hard hat came up and asked me if I had found Jesus. Caught me off guard and I was like, “What? Is he missing?”
I live in England and the only people ever to ask about faith are those weird American missionary religions, such as the LDS or the JWs. Maybe once every 6 months. They and I are both polite and they leave after I explain I’m just going out.
Ordinary people may once in a while discuss religion but never in my life has anyone given the least bit of hassle about it. I will say that if anyone played christian music nearby me, my tolerance of christians would plummet.
To be fair, I think a lot of these encounters in America happen in atheists’ heads, due to long brooding about the wickedness of religion and having had vigorous sessions of argument beforehand both in their minds and on the internet with other atheists; and although not a christian myself, have we not the highest authority that the Thought is the Deed ? And therefore in the eye of pure faith these encounters are as real as if they had actually happened.
Sadly, I call myself a Christian (and listen to Christian music about 80% of the time) but I do the above (well I don’t sleep with as many as I can get my hands on, but I do my fair share). But oh well, at least I admit it…as they say, Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven…
I don’t want to hijack this thread, so I’ll just say I did do a little research on why you would find it disturbing and I do understand. I won’t spend any time trying to change what I said or defend my lifestyle, especially here. May I just quote Popeye, “I yam what I yam.”
There is a substantial cultural difference between the Bay Area and a tiny rural town deep in the Bible Belt, and there was even more of one back in the 80s, which is when I lived in one of the latter. I, personally, only got minor harassment, though; mostly, I just got proselytized at. I tended to confuse people, which mostly made them avoid me, rather than confront me. (Seriously confuse: I identified for a while as a Wiccan, if anyone asked, and actually once got the response, “Ain’t that kind of like Lutheran?”)
The people who came in for the most religious guff were the local Catholics. There weren’t many of them, and they were all in one congregation, and I recall several waves of anti-Catholic sentiment targeting them. This was during the Satanic Panic of the 80s, which undoubtedly played a role. They were accused of devil-worshiping and got to be the target of something like blood libel, there being no Jews in the area to take that part. Their church and some homes were vandalized a few times, including graffiti to that effect, and the local sheriff made no real effort to catch the vandals. I also know of one direct confrontation in which there were at least threats of religiously motivated violence–I was with a couple of Catholic friends out in the boonies when they got cornered by a bunch of guys from one of the churches that was frothing at the time, who expressed the intent to beat the Devil out of them.
Despite all that, I would have to say actual harassment was pretty rare, even in that area. The overwhelming majority of people in most of the churches were decent people and not looking for trouble with anyone; it was only when some aggressive nutjob in one of the churches started stirring the pot that anything happened. I noticed that it usually coincided with one internal conflict or another within the instigator’s church, which leads me to think it was often more about politics than actual belief.
And centuries later, when mistranslations creep into that saying and get spread amongst the faithful, and the Popeye literalists insist Popeye said “I sweet potato what I sweet potato”, what then will you do?
I guess I could be more strident about my atheism and refuse to participate or condone any of their behaviors, but it really wouldnt benefit me at all. As is, the fact that I’m not religious but go with them to religious events like Baptisms gains me a lot of appreciation.
