I must love my kids. (Pet sitting).

I have to be honest. I’m not a pet person. I’ve got some pretty irritating cleanliness habits and they don’t include pets of any kind. Now for the sake of my kids, who don’t live with me and are away with their mom for two weeks, I am the proud caretaker of two parakeets (Dash and Taylor) and two beta fish (Red and Blue).

The birds are thankfully silent at night but the minute the TV or stereo go on, they begin to chatter and let out piercing chirps. Then, for no apparent reason, they fly about the cage maniacally with feathers and bird food flying in all directions and all over my carpet. Then there is the matter of cleaning out the cage. Ewwww! I’m tempted to stick the vacuum nozzle into the cage to clean it out. Of course I’d have to explain to the kids how the birds got lodged in the vacuum hose. I wonder, can I put the little feathered bastards out on the shaded deck? It’s the middle of summer. Are they heat resistant?

The fish. Well, thankfully they are silent. I’ve only got to check on them at least once a day to make sure they are still floating right side up. But the water needs changing every few days. And again, I’ve got to deal with washing out the fish crap from their respetive aquariums. I can’t even put them in a common bowl for a few minutes so I can clean both bowls at once 'cuz they’ll kill one another. Pain in the ass.

I swear, their mother got them pets just to make me clean pet crap.

Well, any problems with the fish will hopefully be resolved by the final release versions (tentatively named Vermillion and Aquamarine).