Everybody has to believe in something.
I believe I’ll have another beer.
I believe you’re right. 
I think the central conceit is that as soon as one hears of a concept, one forms a belief about it one way or another, in spite of oneself or any pretensions one has to being a Vulcan. This may or may not be true (I personally think it generally is) but that’s the base of your son’s issue - you’re aware of the concept of aliens, so you must have a belief about their existence. Assuming you’re not a robot, I tend to agree with him.
I don’t believe in true agnosticism (heh).
Agreed. I’d say, “No, I don’t believe aliens exist. But wait: now ask me if I believe aliens don’t exist. Answer’s also no.”
Well count me among the robots and Vulcans, because there are lots of things where I think A is more likely than B, but I have no opinion/belief beyond that, and lots more things where I just don’t know, period.
And I think it’s a problem if people think they must form an opinion, even when they do not have sufficient information to do so (or even situations where sufficient information doesn’t exist at this time).
that’s already a belief, I bolded there. Functionally, “I think aliens are more likely than not” is the same as “I believe aliens exist”
Such as?
Personally, I’m no Vulcan - almost as soon as I’m aware of a concept, I form some internal belief as to its truth value. So for the OP, if my daughter asked me that question, in it’s B&W no-weasel form, I’d answer “Yes, I believe there are sentient beings out there”.
If asked in a scientific context, I could emm and aah about the limits of our knowledge, but still, at my core, I have my own belief on the matter. Ditto for God, or the possibility of AI, or the existence of True Love… I can’t, for the life of me, think of a single subject where, even though I might wish to remain neutral, I have not, in fact, formed an internal opinion which can be accessed by introspection.
Ah OK. Then you have no issue with the OP’s original answer to her child: that she thinks it’s likely aliens exist but it’s not a yes / no question.
Disagree. One is a claim about the universe, that may be inconsistent with reality. The other is not.
For example just now I was reading about sterile neutrinos. Interesting concept. Do they exist? Fuck knows.
There is insufficient data at this time, and I’m not the right person to be analyzing that data in any event.
Well, we differ on that.
And I think you are wrong to paint anyone who doesn’t share your personality on such things a “robot” or “Vulcan”.
It’s a poorly formed question - its implications and possible meanings have “yes” answers and “no” answers.
Do I believe that there is life on some planet other than Earth? Yes.
Intelligent life? Yes, somewhere.
Life capable of communicating with Earth? Uh,no.
Interstellar space-faring life? No.
Aliens visiting Earth? Hell, no.
Which of these questions will you be answering?
I’m thinking that he’s looking around the world and sees thousands of stories about people who have encountered intelligent aliens and he wants to know if the stories are true.
Tell him you think the stories aren’t true.
I also loved the coin flip answer.
Honestly, it s a false dichotomy.
He could be doing it as a means to exert control and power. Not only by forcing you to give into his line of thought (it has to be yes or no), but by also forcing you abandon your previous stand.
The fact that you state he hasnt had issues with ‘grey area’ previously, only reinforces the possibility that it is being done as a purposeful show of power/control.
Have him google the term I opened with.
“Do I believe that aliens exist? No. Of course, if you ask me if I believe that aliens don’t exist, I’ll answer ‘no’ to that, too. It’s fun to imagine what aliens might be like if they do exist, but I can’t say I *believe * in something unless I have strong evidence or strong feelings one way or the other. Right now, I believe I’ll go make myself a sandwich.”
Ask him something that is knowable but that he doesn’t know it yet. Do you think there is a man in South America who is 118 years old? What does he BELIEVE, yes or no?
Sure he can do research to try to find the answer, but tell him to imagine that he couldn’t. Your belief about aliens is exactly like his belief about any other unknown fact. The research is still inconclusive.
To quote Dan Simmons: “I’m waiting to believe.”
So many excellent replies here. Thanks.
I think I’m going to try the paper-in-a-shoebox thing this evening without telling him why I’m doing it until after. Will report back.
I’m with dracoi:
My thought was to approach it along these lines:
…but with something that is essentially unknowable. Like, it’s entirely possible that somewhere in India at 2:15pm (local time) a little girl named Sapna colored on page 31 of a second-hand copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets with a blue crayon. Does he believe this happened?
I’m short on time so just jumping to the end to post my thoughts. Demonstrate your answer by example.
Show him a box that he hasn’t seen before and ask him if there is a ball in it. Refuse to answer any other questions about it and then challenge him to prove his answer without looking into the box.
This is brilliant. There is nothing like an object lesson for kids who are wrapped around the axle.
On the subject of engaging him, I’d say talk about how he could phrase his question to be “yes” or “no.”
“Do you believe alien life is possible?”
“Do you believe that technologically advanced aliens have visited the Earth?” (I think this is his real question)
“Do you believe that aliens walk among us?”
That sort of thing.
No, I’m saying “I think it’s likely” is effectively the same as saying “I believe they exist”
No - reread the first statement - it is, in fact, only a statement about belief - “I think it’s likely…”. It’s not the same as “These calculations show…” or somesuch.
Although even there, if “These calculations…” refer to the Drake equation, again you’re talking about belief, since a lot of the later fraction terms, and the L term, are just statements of belief anyway.
Whereas I already have a belief about them, despite only hearing about them now from you and Wiki-ing them…
I wouldn’t remotely consider my belief anything scientific or related to the truth, but on hearing of the concept, my thought was “Another Particle-of-the-gaps :rolleyes:” which has nothing to do with the physics of the matter, and everything to do with my attitude to physicists - but is definitely a belief about the concept.
Sorry - a poor choice of words. Rather let’s say I think everyone forms a belief as to the truth of every concept they come across, but they may be more invested in outward objectivity to even realise as much.
I think this is total BS. Let me offer an alternative explanation for what you’re observing: Cognitive dissonance.
When you’re presented with a question like “Are there aliens” you’re facing cognitive dissonance from multiple sources. Some of those sources are:
[ul]
[li]I believe I’m intelligent. Intelligent people know things. Not knowing this would conflict with my belief. Therefore, I should know the answer to this.[/li][li]I believe John is a trustworthy person. John believes in aliens. Having a different opinion about aliens would conflict with my belief that he’s trustworthy. Therefore, I will conform to his belief about aliens.[/li][li]I believe that the Bible says man/Earth is special and unique. Aliens would make this untrue. Therefore, I will refuse to believe in aliens. (And this works in reverse if the Earth must not be special and therefore aliens *must *exist.)[/li][/ul]
All of this happens very quickly and almost unconsciously. Perhaps that’s what you’re thinking of when you say “everyone forms a belief.” But I’m going to reject the notion that “outward objectivity” is just some denial of your belief. It’s not a belief until you accept it as yours*. If you refuse to allow some lizard-brain emotional override to dictate your belief, that’s how thinking works!
*In fact, one of the remarkably dangerous things about cognitive dissonance is that saying something leads you to support it after the fact. So if the OP chose to tell her son “Yes” just to get him to shut up, it’s a very real phenomenon of psychology that she may come to believe that this was really her opinion all along. Read up on the Wikipedia page if you don’t agree. It’s been experimentally demonstrated.
The intelligent thing to do is to take the time to think about the issue and form a reasonable and educated opinion, and recognize if you’re not able to do so. If you can’t form a reasonable and educated opinion, then the intelligent thing to do is to admit that you just don’t know. That takes some mental fortitude because it’s a little uncomfortable to not know.