…and a license plate that says “EXCRM8R”. I own an RV and make no apologies for it, so ‘fuck off’ to the critics. My bitch concerns drivers who will go to any lengths NOT to be behind me for any length of time, even at the risk of their own lives and the lives of others.
In town, people pull out in front of me and change lanes abruptly without any regard for the fact that I’m desperately trying to stop 27 feet of vehicle in order to keep from imprinting “Ford” on some dickhead’s prostate. Even with 4-wheel ABS, it takes some doing to get from 40 to zero.
On the highway, regardless of the speed I’m going, I get tailgated, passed on corners, honked at, etc. Now, if I’m doing 65-70 and not blocking traffic (we have a five-vehicle law here), what is this asshole’s problem?
This is why I need a shit cannon. A device with a directional nozzle that I can hook up to the black water tank so that when some fucktard cuts me off I can douse his ass. Why, I could be the terror of the highways with this gizmo. Any budding engineers want to give it a go?
Maybe a cape and a cool mask would also be in order?