I need a sure-fire waker-upper!

In My Humble Opinion
41

I was hoping for a green answer like convincing her to change her diet or adding a pet to her life, but I don’t think she’d go for either. When she is out of the room, could someone sneak in and place a rolling alarm clock under her bead?
Or… and this is a last resort…an experiment.

Assumes that Sound travels through solid objects as well as air experiment. I propose an extend-a-wand speaker that would fit in your trunk and attach by wire to your car stereo.

You’ll need:

*Some sort of interlocking tube-within-tube device, like the handle of an extendable window washing mop.

*Sufficient wire slack to reach from the units tip , fully extended, to the base with 8-10 extra feet to extend behind you through your window and into a dashboard port.

  • A working speaker from a broken device that you were going to throw out anyway.

*Wooden framing to mount the speaker to.

*The metal swivel mount from an old mop to mount the framing too.

*adapters, so the wire can plug into the car stereo

*a power switch mounted to the handle

*Duct Tape (its always handy)

Proposed Device is hand-held/manipulated and can be raised up to the level of the window. Swivel should allow the speaker to fit flush/snugly against the glass.

Proposed Scenario:

Arriving on scene, you find she is still asleep, door locked. You park as close to her window as possible, remove the speaker-wand from the trunk, and fully extend it. You lean it against the outside wall while checking that all connections are attached/tight. You should have your music selected well beforehand (Q: what does she hate? Love? What mood you want her in when that window opens is totally your call).

Once connections are tight and music is confirmed playing through car stereo speakers, exit the car and take up your wand. Carefully place the speaker flush against the window glass so its vibration transfers through the glass to maximum effect. Then, flip on the power switch.

Note: you won’t have volume control or amplification control; you will have to guess your best and stick with it. Also, between the handle and the car I propose some quick release adapters for the wire as you may need to disconnect and toss away the wand in a hurry. Also, as you are running wires to your car through a window, I’d suggest having the window rolled up most of the way as you never can tell what she will throw out the window and down at you.

Good Luck!

42

Well, thanks, but I would NEED luck. The only window in that room faces the back of the house; I park in the driveway in front of the garage; between that and Natalie’s room is another bedroom.

I once had an alarm clock that went “bing, bing bing, bing bing bing,” over and over. I wish I had it now; it’ll drive you crazy if you don’t reach over and shut it off!

Art Linkletter interviewed a little girl who had a sure-fire way to wake up her brother:

“I put the cat in his room.”
“How does that wake him up?”
“He sleeps with the dog.”

These people do have a dog and cat; we would put the dog in through the window in late evening, and the cat in the morning. Instant chaos. :smiley:

43

Have you considered bypassing Natalie and working directly with the kids? Take them by a store and buy them a kid themed alarm clock as a gift, teach them how to use it. Surely the five year old can dress herself and can help the younger girl. They may love their school, or at least their friends at school. If mommy isn’t getting them up, maybe they’ll be willing to get themselves up and dressed and meet you at the car on time so they don’t miss school breakfast(odds are they’re getting free breakfast/lunch if mom’s on welfare) and get in trouble with their teachers.

On a bigger level, it sounds like Natalie is depressed and either self-medicating or isolating or both(locking herself in her room every day?) and taking her daughters down with her. Good for you and her other relatives for not throwing her to what sounds very much like the wolves of mental illness. You may not be able to force her into therapy, but you can provide a stabilizing influence for her and the kids.

Enjoy,
Steven

44

How is it an “everyone for himself policy” to expect people to be responsible for themselves? You are only enabling the young lady to continue the irresponsible behavior - which at some point could cost her dearly (CPS involvment, children ger hurt in the other room and she can’t hear them, locked away, etc) - or even her own life.

There is a point where the best intentions of ‘friends’ is the worst thing they can do, and the hardest thing that they should do (let them fend for themselves, hit rock bottom, etc) is the best thing they should do.

Its a fine line to be sure - but, rest assured, you’re not going to be able to ‘solve’ this problem until she figures out she has a problem to solve.

45

Not speaking to anyone’s level of personal responsibility here. I got one of these alarms for my teenage son, and HOLY SNOT! that thing’s loud! And hard to turn off if you’re only half awake and being scared out of your mind by a loud as hell alarm clock. In addition to being available on line, they’re usually available at truck stops (which is how I learned of them. My dad was a long-haul trucker, and swore by these when he absolutely had to have a nap, and then wake up to meet a deadline.)

46

Is this clock electric, battery-powered, or windup?

47

From the linked page -

48

Yep, battery powered. Which is handy. The Boy knows from experience that, if he sleeps through his alarm one morning, that I will hide that EXCESSIVELY LOUD thing in some random spot after he falls asleep. Under the bed, behind the computer tower, in his shoe…

49
  1. Buy 6 of those super loud truck stop alarm clocks.
    B. Set them all to go off at the same time.
    III. Put one of them on her bedside table.
    4th. Put another one under her bed.
  2. Put another one under her dresser
    [del]||||[/del]|. Put one in one of her shoes.
  3. Put one in her pile of dirty laundry.
    h. Put one on the shelf in her closet.

But really, you’re just enabling her. If you really want to resolve this problem, you’re going to have to not wait for her to get her kids out to you. They’re 3 and 5 years old? I don’t think they’re going to not get into Harvard or Yale if they’re late to school a couple of days.

50

The ultimate in nit-pickery I just couldn’t resist.

FTFY: 1001. Put another one under her dresser

51

Natalie has moved out of that house, with her two daughters; she’s staying with a friend (that’s where I pick the kids up for school now) until she finds a permanent place to stay. So far as I know she isn’t sleeping in lately. I guess her uncle thinks he showed her.

52

If Natalie has a car, does not work, and has to get up to get the kids dressed and fed in the morning, why doesn’t she also drive them?

What could possibly be your ulterior motive for staying attached to this woman and her kids?

53

As I’ve maintained all along, Boom, Chicka Chicka, Boom. :smiley:

But dougie denies it.

54

Of course I deny it, smartass. Natalie has been job- and apartment-hunting.

Besides, she does not have the wherewithal that I do and cannot drive around as much. (And in fact, she* does* provide them with transportation sometimes, when I am not available.)

She had been consulting an attorney who had been helping her pro bono, concerning her incarcerated husband. If you persist in presuming dalliance on my part I may just take the matter up with him (well, the lawyer and the husband) and see how friendly they are toward you!

55

Alrighty, then. Since you don’t want to get in Natalie’s “pantaloons”, and you have a not-too-great past…could your ulterior motive be that the incarcerated husband has dirt on you and you are helping Natalie so she can focus on getting him out faster? Or maybe, you’re hanging around to find out where he stashed the loot from his crime so you can make off with it before he gets out?

Hmmm…

Or, you’ve been hired as the husband to protect his family from various thugs and hooligans and driving the kids to school is part of the cover.

Or, maybe Natalie has a great hookup for some really good weed and she gives you some for driving the kids…

56

Pick any one, you’re batting zero.

My “ulterior motive” was inspired before either of the girls was born, before the husband was in Natalie’s life, anf at a time when Natalie was persona non grata with most of her relatives. (I was ticked off with her myself.)

All this shows how much you know–or rather how much you*** think*** you know about this family, whom I have known for nearly thirty years–before Natalie herself was even born.

And, FYI, her husband was jailed for shooting a gun in the apartment and flooding three other apartments when the bullets punctured water pipes. (More seriously, he could have punctured some people!)

He has no swag.

And if she offered me “weed” I would tell her bluntly what she could do with it.

57

On the one hand on, I am actually curious about your motivation, if only because it’s now a puzzle, but on the other hand, I don’t want to be a dick.

So, I’m glad your friend seems to be doing the right thing by her girls and getting them up for school on time. It is important for kids this young to be on time regularly because it let’s them get settled along with their classmates and to participate fully. And it helps set the importance of school in their mind.

58

ul·te·ri·or
ˌəlˈti(ə)rēər/
adjective
adjective: ulterior

1.
existing beyond what is obvious or admitted; intentionally hidden.

…

59

If you’re still interested in wake-up calls, my dad used to have trouble getting up if my mom was away, and he’d put the wind-up Big Ben alarm clock (which was already pretty loud) in an aluminum pan and put it a room away from him, on the dining room table. That thing would wake the dead, and by the time he got done staggering to the dining room and figuring out which button to push, he was wide awake. No snooze alarm on that thing.

60

Absolutely. I want them to start off better than their mother or their uncle Bert did.

As far as my motive is concerned–well, there are things I know about other people that I will likely take to my grave; these people have confided in me. 'Nuff sed.