Caregiving for the severely afflicted is hard, all consuming, and at the same time uniquely rewarding. It’s also very draining.
You not only lost your partner, you lost your mission. Both losses are mongo disorienting.
I struggled with that loss of mission a lot. Until I recognized what it was. Then I created a mission of caregiving for me to drag me back to life as a solo.
@pjd may find some value in that example.
Good luck on your journey.
I am so very sorry.
I can only add my condolences to all the rest. You will cheer up.
Thanks again friends. It’s all helping a lot.
I spent yesterday watching stuff to keep my mind off it - hundreds
of QI clips.
I do plan to spend more time volunteering at the MS HBOT
(hyperbaric oxygen therapy) center.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You have my very deepest sympathies. I lost my partner in early November, I understand how profound a loss this is for you. I know I suddenly felt a strangely different person, in an entirely different world.
My only advice is to be extremely kind and gentle with yourself. Intentionally and daily. At every opportunity that arises. Go out of your way to be purposely softer and gentler on yourself.
Secondly, it’s okay to have concerns but refuse to fall into worry, resist at all costs. It’s a trap. Worry won’t change anything, but it can steal your peace. There are times ahead for your worries, now is not that time.
This was some of the best advice I received.
I would encourage you to be as open, about your grief, as you possibly can. Do it now, as in a very short time in will feel somewhat less appropriate.
You will be very much in my thoughts, wishing you peace, sending you condolences.
Thanks elbows.
I am sorry for your loss too.
It’s bloody hard.
I am so sorry for your loss, @pjd - I hope you take some comfort from your memories of the good times.
Try to be kind to yourself and remember that you and Maeve are both grieving, you still have each other for comfort. I second the recommendation for Cruse and their bereavement counselling. It’s good to have someone else listen to your feelings and reassure you that your path through grief is neither right nor wrong, it’s just yours.
Don’t forget you have friends in the MMP who would be more than happy to listen to your and provide whatever support they can. Big hugs to you and Maeve.
Thanks Boof !
I’ll look into the Cruse thing if it gets any worse.
My sister and brother-in-law came round on the night which helped.
As it happens, my BIL is also my partner’s brother; I must remember that
he has also lost one of his sisters. We both went to visit my SIL (my late
brother’s wife) on Wednesday evening and talked rubbish for a few hours.
You people rock !
Well, you asked for cheering up…
Thanks !
That’s just the sort of silliness I need.
I’m glad to hear you’ve got some family and other people around you. I was thinking about that last night, but I’m a bit too far away to pop by for a visit.
I am so so sorry for your loss. I don’t know you, but I have some sense of grief, having lost both my parents in a year. It’s not the same as losing a life partner, so I can only imagine how you feel right now. Don’t hold back from asking for help, and speaking to friends and/or family about it - people always want to help but sometimes hang back waiting to be asked, not wanting to intrude. Let them know if you want them to!
Last night we watched the latest episode W Animals - I don’t think I‘ve seem Sandi laugh so much in a single episode.
My favorite QI bit is about the Acropolis.
And then there‘s there‘s the parrot video:
… then why stop at a YT vid … I frequently crack some ribs laughing at this sub-reddit (r/AccidentalSlapStick)
I’m very sorry for your loss. May her memory always be a blessing for you.
When my mother died, i saw a therapist briefly. (I had set up the appointment when she was dying, because i wanted help dealing with my siblings and our differing views of how to care for our mom, and decided a session of grief counseling couldn’t hurt.) I didn’t find her very helpful. I did find the social worker who had been assigned to my mom by the hospice program really helpful, though. I forget why i talked with her after my mom’s death, but she was terrific.
Anyway, my point is that if you want some professional help, and the first person you talk to doesn’t click, it might be worth finding someone else.
Do take care of yourself. Maybe buy some easy-to eat food you like that has protein and fat. Things like deli meats, nuts, smoked fish, Greek yogurt… Just to have around so it’s easy to snack on something filling when you feel up to that.
For pure silliness, Google “Cooking with beagles”. It’s a series of videos of a guy pretending to cook with a pair of beagles, Kiki and Koko, sitting on either side of him.
Beagles are highly food motivated, very smart, and just darn cute. Guess who wins?
(I suggest googling because I don’t know how to link videos.)
I’m very sorry for your loss.
feel free to share with us what that is like, I was trying to imagine. good for you for helping others.