I can’t speak to how well the story will be written, but here’s what I see as problems with the set-up:
> the ASAP (Alliance of South American Powers)
Shouldn’t the group at least have a Spanish or Portuguese name? Try not to have the various groups left over sound like they all are made up of American citizens. According to your plot, the U.S. fell first. There shouldn’t be very many Americans in the groups fighting for power under your scenario. Similarly:
> the CIM (Communist Initiative Movement)
This group is presumably mostly Chinese, since that’s where most of the remaining Communists are today.
When did this collapse supposedly happen? Next year? 2025? 2050? 2075? It’s important to think about this since you appear to say that clones and robots became at least moderately common before the collapse.
But there’s a further problem. You speak of “the world was devestated when something (unknown, so far) collapsed the US of A. It lead to a massive, worldwide war in which nearly all of out known nations were scattered and destroyed. . . . the GS (Genetic Saviors. All of their soldiers are cloned) and the Mech (they believe no human should do work, 'cept for fighting and manegmental jobs. Everything else is automated)”. If the world was this badly devastated by the war, how could facilities to create clones and robots still exist? This would be really high-tech stuff.
Any war in which all the nations are “scattered and destroyed” would devastate civilization enough that it would take centuries for society to rebuild enough to consistently use high-level technology. At best, there would only be bits and pieces of high-tech, cobbled together to work as best as possible. You should be careful not to write one of those “I’ll get rid of all the inconvenient parts of society and keep the parts that fit my ideas” stories. (The worst example of this is one where society has collapsed, but people are still using the Internet to communicate. Uh, no, when civilization collapses, the Internet will go first.)
You also write:
> Ok, my character is a mercenary, class M (Z being worst,
> A being top gun). He is completely unempathising and self-
> oriented. Money is his life. However, if he doesn’t get
> his way, he get’s angry and kills someone.
There are 26 levels of mercenary? That’s way more than the number of levels in any martial art or of ranks in any army. Why would anyone create such a complicated system in any world, let alone one in which society has collapsed? Incidentally, is the story going to end with this guy defeating everyone and saving the world? He’s a mid-level mercenary. Presumably all that’s necessary is for someone to send out a couple A-level mercenaries and they would clobber him in a trice. Furthermore, if he’s the sort of person who blows up easily and resorts to violence over small things, he’s the sort who will be get killed quickly because everyone soon realizes that he’s a loose cannon and not to be trusted. It’s inconsistent to make him both a money-oriented mercenary and an easily-angered character. Someone who doesn’t learn to control his anger quickly loses jobs and eventually his life.
Why not make him an A-level mercenary who through politic-ing, negotiating, and perhaps deceit (but only at the end, because if he did that too early he would get killed) manages to put together an alliance of enough diffent groups to control the world? Two-fisted heroes who save the world through purely physical prowess are unrealistic and a boring cliche anyway. A further idea occurred to me: Why not make him one of the few Americans either among the warring factions or the mercenaries? You apparently wanted to have an American in the lead to get some sympathy from your readers. Why not say that everyone underestimates your hero because he’s American? They look down at Americans because they were the ones who destoyed the old civilization when they were at the top of it.