Listen, I love going the extra mile for my clients, I really do. There’s all kinds of things spelled out in detail in the letter of engagement that I’ll forgive you for not providing, and will go and get myself from the county if necessary.
But I can’t appraise the damn building if I don’t know precisely what dirt you want me to appraise, and it’s damn hard to figure it out when I’m in metes and bounds! I’d go and get the damned thing myself if it weren’t for the fact that the property is just across the county line, the county seat of the “other” county is an hour drive away, and the county clerk refuses to fax things to me because of the significant costs associated with faxing a single sheet of paper long-distance intra-state.
I know you want a fucking verbal by this Friday, but I don’t even know how much dirt I’m sitting on, or if it’s in flood plain (which it might be, but I don’t know without knowing the depth of the parcel, which I GOD DAMN DON’T KNOW WITHOUT THE FUCKING LEGAL!), or how much if any is sitting underneath arterial roadway! I CAN’T FUCKING APPRAISE IT UNTIL I KNOW THESE THINGS, AND THAT MEANS I’VE GOTTA HAVE THE LEGAL DESCRIPTION I SPECIFICALLY REQUIRE IN THE ORIGINAL LETTER OF ENGAGEMENT!!!
And for god’s sake man, “A part of Section XX, Township XX North, Range XX East” makes not a complete legal description. The next banker that gives me this highly informative piece of information gets their market value expressed in Spanish doubloons.
I’m too nice… I bill flat fees and the engagement letters have no provisions for “super-normal” expenses or anything of that sort.
Nah, the answer is I work on other projects till I get the stuff I need, and most of my clients understand that I’m waiting on them to provide me with stuff before I can give them a value.
By venting anonymously on message boards, rather than billing money, I keep the clients happy and my blood pressure at moderately reasonable levels
Tomorrow: Bankers that don’t understand the concept of compound interest!
“Beginning at a point on the northwest corner of the property herein described, from which point angle point no. 15 of Small Holding Claim 85 in the Santa Clara Pueblo Grant bears N.87-43-22W. a distance of 1654.22 feet; thence N.45…”
…
Wait a minute, this doesn’t describe my property at all
Do people actually generate legal descriptions of properties that are defined in terms of themselves like that? “Beginning at the NWC of the property described herein, thence…”, WTF?
Yeah, our office (land surveying) does. However, after all the bearings and distances that detailed the perimeter were finished, we’d add boundaries and owners. For instance, “Bounded on the north by the Santa Cruz river, on the west by the Bureau of Land Management, on the south by Jerry Peterson…”
It may be cumbersome, but it sure beats, “Parcel A as detailed in a plat of survey for Jerry Peterson, filed in the County Clerk’s office in Book 1760 at Page 930.” It’s fine when you have a copy of said plat in hand, but otherwise…
In any case, the language was a holdover from my dad’s old Forest Service days. Most of his competetors word their descriptions a little less awkwardly.
Oh, and I can totally relate with your dilemma. Having a county seat several miles from your location sucks ass.
I’m in GIS. I see descriptions like that all the time. Perhaps what you should be looking for is an Assessor map, should be available from the County. While not nearly as accurate as a plat, or meets and bounds description, it should give you an idea where the property lies.
Any half way decent CAD program will allow you to enter the description and draw the property. While it may be difficult for you to find out where it’s located, it will show you size and shape.
Lazlo, as long as there’s some kind of reference point, it’s ALL good. And any metes and bounds calls are better than none at all, which was what I had until this morning.
Mainly, I just need an official “this is exactly what we want you to appraise” document. I know where it is, and I have a rough idea how big it is from a county assesor parcel sketch (that doesn’t have any of the calls on it, nor is it to scale). Something a little more informative than “appraise Bill Smith’s manufacturing building, you know, the one on the west side, with the roof and doors?”
NOW, I’ve got to figure out if there’s an access easement that needs to be deducted from my land area, since I found out yesterday there’s someone behind my subject with no other access… while I’m at it, I guess I oughta just put together an abstract since the bank doesn’t seem to have one. Maybe I’ll throw in fries and a coke and call it Desdinova’s Appraisal Super Value Meal, only $2,499.99 plus tax!
