I don’t have much experience with mentally challenged kids, but if it’s not severe I would argue to keep them in public schools. I have learned through sports that I play my best when I’m playing someone better than me. I believe learning is similar in that the classroom is often a competetive environment. I would be more concerned that by being in a special educational setting, the child would become worse off. The most important thing is to not let the child believe she is inferior.
Just my two cents, but I do hope things work out. Do what you believe is best because no one cares more for your child than you do.
Thank you so much Melin…Frankie is on track with all but his language dev. and this last year, he has made great progress …but when I see him trying to talk with other kids his age…well its hard to watch. He stammers alot and it gets worse when shitboy is not consistent…he starts kindergarten next year (govt regulated/mandatory/free) and I just dont know if he will be ready verbally.
Shadowfox…she might still catch up… fingers crossed
Please let me chime in as well. My son has dyslexia, he’s five. We caught it early, and he’s in a special (private) school solely for kids with dyslexia related problems (ADD is in there BTW). The stories I hear from other parents (I was just talking to one yesterday during my watch over the school garden) was that their children were miserable in public schools, their self-esteem was very low, and they were struggling. Don’t let the public school diagnose something like this: they can’t. The screening for my son cost on the order of $800 USD. His school is $10K a year, but worth it. Here in Dallas we do have good schools for children with learning differences, I’m sure your school district does also. Also, throwing a child in a one-size-fits-all “special” needs class does nothing useful. Special needs means just that. For my son it’s writing in cursive, learning the alphabet by tactile/visual correlation, etc. The teacher, even the “special needs” teacher, would not know what is required, thus she would diagnose it herself. You can bet she’d get it wrong.
JLPicard, thats one reason I don’t like the word ‘special’ to apply to these types of kids. I think schools use that just so they can throw everyone into a ‘special classroom’ & save money.
On the other hand, mainstreaming is now the law and I have seen adults with Down syndrome put into regular college classrooms & they don’t do well, of course, but law says they have to be put there, so they are.
Once you find out your child isn’t severely able [SA] all the specialists come in wanting your money all saying they have the answer & then who to believe?
I can understand your feelings completely. We went through the same experience with our daughter. We decided to try home-schooling her to see for ourselves what she was capable of. What we discovered was that her personality and learning style did not allow her to learn in a class with 20 other kids. She is very shy and distracted easily. One-on-one, she’s fine and tries very hard. In a group with 20 other kids, she “shuts down” and can’t learn.
There’s another thread on the board dealing with public school horror stories. What we found was that the classes were geared for the norm and that everyone was expected to fit into a certain mold. If you were smarter or slower than average, you were made to fit into the mold. My son is smarter than average and he had to wait for everyone else to catch up. We used to get comments from the teacher about how nice it was that he helped his fellow students when they were having problems. My daughter was slower than average and the teacher couldn’t take the time to spend time with her.
While she was in public school, there was one teacher who my daughter really clicked with. Under her supervision, my daughter really excelled. Mid-year, the teacher took maternity leave and was replaced by someone the complete opposite. My daughter then started having problems but the principal, teacher, and counselor couldn’t (or wouldn’t) see the connection. My daughter was tested and recommended for special ed. It was about this time we pulled her out.
I hope things turn out well for you and your daughter. Good luck on finding the right environment that will help your daughter do her best.
{{{shadowfox}}} So sorry, sweetie, I’ve been there and I know how it sucks.
Like everyone else, I urge you to get independent testing before you agree to any changes in your kid’s education plan. Make sure that you bring the independent results, and the recommendations that those experts gave you, to the IEP meeting. An IEP (as I’m sure you know) is an Individual Education Plan. When you’re writing the IEP remember that entrance into Special Ed tends to be through a one way door – make sure to leave your kid an exit. The best way to do this is to list getting off of Special Ed as one of the goals. And, again, I’m thinking of {{{you and your child}}}.
My best friend’s 5 year old son didn’t get potty trained till he was 4 1/2. He was deemed “difficult” by his preschool teacher & she said his speech and cognitive skills were at a 2-3year old level. Upon that teacher’s advice, my friend took him to some specialists, had some tests, and they confirmed his development level was 2-3 years old. They then administered hearing tests, and found he had 80% hearing loss. (He’d had numerous ear infections from infancy on) They inserted tubes to drain water from his inner ear and his hearing went above 60% of average. They turned off the TV, are working with him in speech therapy, and do a lot of developmental work with him. He still might get hearing aids, but in 3 months their life has changed dramatically. He is sooo much calmer, more responsible, and easier to be around. Now she feels guilty that she didn’t pick up on it before, but it wasn’t clear. He was smart enough to get by without it being obvious.
Also, in California, I believe that all children are integrated into “regular” classrooms if they are basically self sufficient & the parents insist (although I’m not sure of that). As soon as your child is diagnosed with a disability, California bends over backwards educating, providing a personal aid, learning resources, transportation, etc. (Our public schools suck for “average” kids, but if your kid needs more help, then this is the place to be.) Make a big deal about it…I bet you’ll find that Michigan has programs like that, too.
As others have said, yes, by all means get a second opinion, complete physical included. Also, keep in mind that public schools have a variety of motives for labeling kids “learning impaired” or having “special needs.” These can be anywhere from funding issues to educators who wish to appear to be “doing something” for kids with developmental problems. Your daughter may need some extra help, but the educators are possibly the last people you’d want advising you on this. stick to your guns.
(sorry if this post is a bit redundant)
Perhaps it’s not much of anything then. When I was a mere tyke, I stuttered and stammered to an amazing extent while trying to talk. Everyone wondered and worried and I had to see counselers and therapists and the rest of it. But eventually they decided that I was just too bright and was trying to speak faster than I was able to. Go figure.
For that matter, as a child I used to rock in my crib and bang my head on the side of the crib. My mother tells me she used to stay up nights crying because she was certain I was autistic. Needless to say, that wasn’t the case – I was just an odd child. My point is, you never can tell at such a young age what’s going on inside the mind developmentally.
“I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”
First I really hope things work out for you and your daughter.
I was already incredibly shortsighted when I started school, but I naively thought everyone saw the world as blurred, so my parents didn’t realise my problem. I bluffed my way through lessons, except that I used to get simple sums wrong (because I sat at the back and just couldn’t read the board). One day I sat at the front of the class, got all the answers right, my teacher told my parents and I had glasses the next day.
(I know this isn’t the same difficulty, but I trust it helps somehow).
Yes, yes, yes, and yes to all the above suggestions.
Also, keep in mind that we all have our strengths and weaknesses. I was a rather bright child. With the exception of math, I excelled in all classwork throughout the 12 grades. What was buried was an emotional mess and a predisposition to alcoholism. I had a few drug-related problems in high school, nothing serious. My alcoholism really kicked in at college. I barely graduated; became a cook for the next 17 years. After a prolonged struggle with the disease of alcoholism which included car wrecks, divorce, jail, homelessness, and many trips to ERs and psych wards for DTs, I finally got clean and sober. I’ve done some work in the A&D field but lost my last job because they ran out of funding. Real jobs in the field require certification or an MS degree. Money is low and grades were bad, so grad school will be hard to get into. I’m 40 and back to work in a kitchen.
The point of this story is that I’m sure nobody who looked into the eager eyes of this first-grader who was reading at a 3rd grade level would have guessed the rest of the story…
Just goes to show you never can tell. Hang in there. Keep pushing, searching, trying. Above all, be grateful that she is healthy and love her for what she is: your precious daughter.
We all have to deal with the school system, unless you can afford private school. And they don’t usually deal with children with learning problems. I’m quite surprised at the number of kids in my son’s second grade, who have reading problems, memory problems , speech problems etc. It looks like only my son and two boys plus nearly all the girls are without special sessions.