The type of fastener used in DIY furniture isn’t that big a problem compared to the poor fit of the pieces. I’ve had a number of items that had to be hammered and bent into a usable shape. In fact, the desk I’m sitting at right now required a couple major modifications. The top came in two halves, but on one of them the holes were drilled in the wrong places entirely, so I had to do it myself. After I put the desk together and went to move my computer in, I discovered that the cabinet for it had no holes for cords. I had to buy a hole saw for that.
I realize that I’m really not adding much to the thread, but it’s early yet so forgive me:
Fucking Fragile
Fucking Keys
Made of cheese
Make my knuckles bleed
Die Allen
Die you twisted
Sadistic
Motherfucker
*
Pure poetry. . .
Thanks for the explanation, Spoons! Another bit of ignorance defeated.
Add me to the list, brother.
My father sold equipment to hardware stores, and as a kid I earned my allowance by assembling display pieces. Even today, nothing makes me happier than having a set of tools, a bunch of parts, and an exploded view diagram. Buy that gas grill pre-assembled? Not on your life! I think of it as a jigsaw puzzle for adults.
Quick question: How may of us who don’t mind or even enjoy building assemble-yourself furniture or appliances built models as kids?
Wiha tools for every fastener you can imagine.
I don’t know of an IKEA within 200 miles of me.
Sheepishly* raises hand. I have volunteered to build flat-pack furniture for my parents, sister, flatmates.
I love Allen-keys too. Although I’ve never had to use the cheese ones as I have a load of them for adjusting guitars (modern electric guitars need a lot of Allen keys)
*because of the model making, not of furniture building.
*Raising hand. *
I didn’t build models as a child, but I did adore putting together huge and complicated jigsaw puzzles. I love assembling furniture – almost everything I have is something I’ve put together.
My sister is moving into a new place and getting a bunch of Ikea stuff. I just wish I wasn’t on the other side of the country so I could go put it together for her!
Whaddya mean putting models together as a kid? I still spend some time on models. (Not all that much, but some.)
I wish I could spend some time on models. Oh, I build and paint miniatures but I never spend my time on models. :::rimshot:::
My local home depot stocks most of the common fasteners used in assemble yourself furniture, if you find yourself missing one, might wanna give them a look. Probably part of a conspiracy to get you back in the store.
I like Ikea furniture because it’s cheap, but I consider it to be practically disposable. These items usually just don’t last that long.
What really irks me is this one type of fastener used in Ikea furniture. On one piece of wood, you have a large hole, just smaller than a dime, into which another hole is drilled into from another side of the wood. Into this hole goes a round metal thing with a phillips-head screw hole in it. On the matching piece of wood is a small hole into which you screw in a long metal screw which sticks out like 2 inches. You insert the end of this “screw” into the small hole on the other piece of wood, then to fasten, you tighten the large round metal thing by turning half a turn. The round thing “locks” onto the screw end.
Do you all know what I am talking about?
Anyway I have broken so many of these things. The metal that the round things are made of is so soft that if you tighten it a hair too much, it just snaps. So you never get a tight-enough fit to last. These things become loose in no time.
They are called “locking cams,” I believe. I’ve never had a problem with them. Of course, I also glue the joins before camming them tight, too.
Here is a better description of what I am talking about that I found online:
These things suck so bad. Basically Ikea furniture is held together with these and small wooden dowels. This stuff can’t last through a move. That’s why when we move in a few months, we’ll be practically giving our Ikea stuff away on craigslist.
Thanks silenus. They would be OK if they were made of a stronger metal. The Ikea ones seem to be made of a soft aluminum. It would also be nice if Ikea included at least a couple of spares of everything in case some are broken, lost or defective.
Stands up
I am Espartacus!..
Ooops!, wrong line. 
And to make this not just another drive by post here´s a little tip.
Have you ever sweated blood trying to drive some pesky flat or Phillips screw into it´s place?, screwdrivers are horrible things for that, not much levering moment, so put your left palm on the top of the handle and press, then use pincers to grab the handle and give that bloody screw it´s last turn. (well, unless you have a power screwdriver)
I like Allen keys precisely for this, they have excellent leverage.
I didn’t enjoy building models as a kid but I did enjoy watching dad do carpentry stuff and I had my own miniature tool kit with a little spirit level (another thing I love. My husband nearly got me a laser level for christmas until he realised it just wouldn’t live up to the old spirit level joy), a hammer and a saw. I used to bang nails into boards for fun. Not sure what kind of fun, but you know, easily amused and all that.
I also like assembling furniture and I loved Legos as a kid. Well, I still love Legos, but I don’t own any now.
On some of my older furniture, I’ve replaced the standard fasteners with better ones. That helps a lot, especially if you move often.
I had tons of construction sets as a kid, have always known how and have done carpentry, have taught myself everthing from how to tile to how to build retaining walls, and I, too, love assembling those furniture things. As a kid, or atleast a few years ago, I called around to every big box store I could find, to ask if I could assemble floor models. They said some guy comes in and does it, but thanks anyway.
I’ve always wanted to be that guy.
We saw a floor model. With legs. This was an expensive set, bought based on a showroom model.
Note to those offering clever advice: Of course I thought to hacksaw the key and make a bit that way. It worked, briefly; the keys were so cheap they cammed out and tore themselves up within two or three screws, and they packed only one little key for every two chairs. Of course I could have gotten a decent Allen set; why do it by hand, though? I found Allen bits at Canadian Tire for my drill.
The point to a good Pit thread is not soliciting advice. It’s the artistic expression of fury.