Replying here because it’s not really suitable for ATMB, and we were discussing the topic in this thread earlier.
I’ve been thinking about this, and I don’t believe the issue is simple misunderstanding. I think it’s defensiveness. I, and to a lesser extent @Babale, are outsiders criticising a group most of the other posters see themselves as belonging to. And criticism from outsiders is not taken well in general. Tends to lead to circling of wagons and fear that admission of any shortcomings will be used to attack the group as a whole.
So the impulse is to assume the worst possible meaning of what I said, and deny it. Would more careful language on my part help? Surely it would, but it would still be an uphill struggle to be understood, and to stop people jumping off on wrong assumptions. It’s a lot of work, and quite frankly I’m not always willing to put that effort in. Only because @Babale started a discussion here did I continue.
Communication is hard enough when everyone is trying to understand, let alone when the other person is paranoid about admitting anything out of fear it will be used against them or their ingroup.