I pit Continental

The BBQ Pit
1

So listen you fucking morons, I’m trying to give you more of my precious sky miles and you won’t even let me finish a fucking sentence. I’ve explained my situation, no no ones life is in danger, but my new job is on the line and you, because of your stupid systems and regulations have no way of helping me out.

My flight is on Tuesday? You ask me for the seventeenth time because I’m on my seventeenth call trying to get a workable solution.

Do I want to fly into Tampa? No, because that involves then a two hour drive back to Orlando. I need to fly into Orlando.

Do you even have flights to Orlando on Monday? Yes? Alright, then can I go in and fly standby in hopes of getting lucky? No I can only fly on the same fucking day as my fucking flight. What a fucking genius system.

New tactic, call Continental and tell them I just want to book a new flight using my one way miles. Great, departing where? Chicago. Arriving where? Orlando. Departing when? July 16th. Returning when? Not, one way flight. Sorry sir we can’t do one way trips on flyer miles. OH FOR FUCKS SAKE. LISTEN YOU COMMIE BASTARDS.

I mean seriously this is ridiculous. Whatever happened to trying to help the customer out?! I’m just trying to get home, but you’re stopping me at every turn. No I don’t have the crap-ton of money I would need for a regular flight at this point. I hit the internet hoping to find a $80 deal from Chicago to Orlando but the cheapest I can find is $155 (including fees) and unfortunately it’s cheaper for me to remain in Chicago rather than pay that flight.

Shit I’m frustrated. Guess I’ll put on some shoes and find my way to a pub where I can get distracted from my frustrations.

I can’t fucking believe how frustrating this has been.

– IG

2

“What’s that you say? You have a very flexible return time? In that case, I bet you’d like whichever return flight gives you the lowest fare that week and saves you the most miles.”

If you’re worried about them doing something nasty when you don’t catch the return flight, show up at the airport, check in, and don’t get on the plane.

S’what I’d do, anyway. I’m sure someone will be along briefly to explain why it won’t work. :slight_smile:

In the meantime, sorry for your plight. Airlines, like so many rebate-offering companies, do tend to suck about letting people claim their “free” rewards.

3

Continental has some weird deal with one way flights. In the future, I need to get to a Central American Capital (any one, doesn’t matter, as I plan to continue on the parts that are, um, “restricted” to those who carry a US passport). At any rate, I was trying to figure out which city was cheapest, so for the purposes of the experiment, I priced one way flights to each on the same date. All came back pretty steep. So, I thought, what would a one way flight to Rio cost? Answer: like 2400 damn dollars. Wait, I know full well the round trip Continental jog to Rio costs 1300. Sure enough, same day, if I was willing to come back, 1300. For the life of me I can’t explain it. As Roland said, get a round trip and get explosive diarrhea and miss the return portion. What are they going to do, call the cops?

4

I fucking HATE Continental! I never got to see my dad on a layover cos Continental left me stranded at Anchorage Airport all night while I watched FIVE Alaska Airlines jet take off to Seattle.

We didn’t crash but thats all I have to say about Continental!