I Pit fsck'ing FARMER JACK

That’s right. Some of you know I’m a dire enemy of those G-d damned supermarket “value club” type of bullshit, privacy-invading cards. Well, my favorite local grocery spot – Farmer Jack – has re-implemented their bullshit program, and now I’m going to have to find yet another new store to shop at. FUCK YOU, FARMER JACK. Dropping the card when you were in bankruptcy SAVED YOUR ASS. What do you expect to be different this time around?

I’m a premium shopper. I don’t care about prices unless I know that people are paying less than I am at the same store. Then it pisses me off. I buy good shit, and lots of it. Farmer Jack CARRIES the good shit, because it’s NOT a Kroger that’s interested in getting only the lowest-common-denominator, penny-pinching, non-loyal customer. Now that FJ is going after the poor, penny-pinching slob crowd, all of the good, premium shit is going to dry up, because that’s not the crowd that buys the premium stuff! High margin stuff!

What the fsck are they thinking? How are they going to afford to keep their stores the cleanest around when all they cater to are pobes? What’s going to happen to the knowledgeable produce manager when only welfare recipients want to buy Shake 'n Bake instead of fresh veggies? Am I going to have to fsck’ing special order the g-d beef tenderloin now that it’s a fsck’ing discount store?

Wherefore art Thou, FARMER JACK-ass???

Probably best for all concerned. Wouldn’t want to be out there breathing the same air as the pobes. (What’s a pobe?)

I think “fsck” is actually more distracting, and draws more attention to itself, than “fuck.” If you’re going to curse, just go for the gold, man.

Agreed on the stupid “value card” things. If I was an apocalyptic Xtian, I’d be **all over ** the goddamned things with my “mark-of-the-beast” hysteria. :mad:

Fucking pobes.

I like to kick them in the nuts. They’re not real people, so I don’t get in trouble for it.

Breathing my air. Shopping in my store. Driving on my roads.

Fucking pobes. If only I could come up with a terminal algorithm.

-Joe

Does Meijer have those those cards yet?

I miss Meijer. We have no good grocery stores down here in TX.

I really don’t understand all the hate and paranoia directed at the grocery store club cards. Most of them don’t require you to show ID before signing up, so you can give them a fake address and phone number if you’re that concerned for your privacy.

Who cares if “THEY” know what brands I buy?
Does it really matter if “THEY” know I go through five gallons of milk every week?
Is someone laughing at me because I bought strawberry-scented shampoo, but coconut-scented conditioner?
Or that I have a two box a week jalepeno popper habit?

mmm, jalepeno poppers. :smiley:

I hate discount cards, too. The only store in town that uses them is small and dirty and understocked, so I don’t shop there unless I need one thing and I’m close by. My problem is that, even with the discount card, their prices are much higher on the stuff that I buy. I used to have one (good gas discount), but I threw it away when I moved to California. Then I moved back and asked three or four times for a new one for those times I was close by, but they were “out”. Fuck 'em.

Couple things…

What the hell is a pobe? Do you mean plebe?

Like others have said, it’s easy to game your info for a discount card. Having said that, I’m kind of surprised nobody has challenged the things…kind of like “no purchase necessary” to enter a contest, it should be “no personal info necessary” to get discounts.

Your disparagement of poor people is not only mean-spirited, your characterization of penny-pinchers as being poor is somewhat inaccurate. Some of the most niggling penny-pinchers are actually fairly well-to-do; that’s part of why they’re well-to-do. A lot of poor people fail to pinch pennies, buying convenience foods and the like, a contributing factor to their continuing poverty.

…and this is the Pit, so go ahead and say fuck; Godamn, shit, piss, sonofabitch, motherfucker, bitch, bastard, goat-felching asshat, all that stuff is just fine here.

And you probably don’t have to special order whole beef tenderloin; if there are filet mignons there, then they probably cut them off a whole tenderloin, so you could just ask a butcher if they could package you a whole one…you might even get a fresher one that way.
But I’m not trying to pick on you or anything…I’ve got some choice rants against the retail groceries, as well, like WHERE THE FUCK HAS ALL THE GOOD BEEF GONE?!? The shit I’m getting these days, even the premium cuts, is rank tasting and tough. And fuck all these pussies who think free-range, grass-fed, lean beef is the way to go…that stuff is terrible! Give me well-marbled, grain-fed beef. You have to confine the fucking steers to keep them from running around, making their steaks tough. Fuck humane treatment, I want good beef! :smiley:

You know, there’s no rule that says you have to fill out those things accurately.

Mine says I’m an 80-yr-old retired Eskimo general.

This just set me off on a hysterical laughing fit that has my office questioning my sanity. Thanks!

When you ask for one, they’ll pull one out, scan it, and hand it to you to fill out later. You still get the discounts for that trip.

I ask for a new one every time I go.

Just out of curiosity, why the use of both “fsck” and “fuck” in the same Pit thread?

Well, ignoring the fact that they’re bothersome to carry and remember to use, not all of the stores let you get away with unchecked information. So you show your shopping card as you make your purchase of bleach (for your laundry), potassium chloride (because you have problems digesting salt), Vaseline (for the valve joints on your musical instrument), and a hot plate (because your last one broke).

Then a week later, someone who read the anarchist’s cookbook explodes a school bus full of children with homemade plastic explosive, but since they were making plans to do something illegal, they bought their stuff in a store without a card. And now the FBI is interested to know where the supplies were purchased and obtain a warrant for the supermarket’s database. Guess who shows up?

Right. It’s not a big deal. Certainly not worth this level of hate.

Sure, and the fairies could give you three wishes too. :rolleyes: :dubious:

The OP’s rant was awesome. Just awesome. At first I thought it was just another rant those ubiquitous and inconvenient savings cards. I hate them, too, by the way. Then the rant took an unexpected–yet highly amusing–quasi-elitist, borderline classist turn. This was my favorite:

I think someone should do a study to determine if there’s a correlation between a market’s decline in quality and the implementation of savings cards.

The markets here in the Baltimore area that do NOT force the shopper to use a savings card if s/he wants to take advantage of the sale prices are either sort-of-icky (Shoppers Food Warehouse) or specialty/high-end (Whole Foods, Graul’s).

For what it’s worth, Whole Foods tried to go the savings card route once. The customer complaints were so voluminous, they quickly did away with them. If Farmer Jack (never heard of 'em) is small and has a loyal-enough following, maybe they, too, could be persuaded to abandon them.

The Pobe, maybe? :confused:

I confess my debating skills are very poor compared to the standards of this board, which is why I stay out of GD for the most part, but I’m not sure what you’re saying, DrDeth.

Since I did create a hypothetical that you seem to find implausible, I’ll try to find cites to back up my point.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,59262,00.html

http://pluralsight.com/blogs/keith/archive/2005/02/22/6107.aspx
http://www.komotv.com/news/story.asp?ID=32785

I found this article interesting:
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/columnist/andrewkantor/2004-05-28-kantor_x.htm

The whole article is worth a read.

Here’s the Google search I used:

That usually works, or most stores have a card that the cashier uses when someone forgets their card. You can just politely ask them to use it, if they don’t automatically reach for it. Most stores are like that, but not the bastards at Safeway. In that case, you need to go to plan B. You’ve tried to be polite, but plan B realizes that sometimes you have to be a dick. So tell them to give you the discount or they can restock all the crap in your basket after you walk out. This sometimes works, but occasionally you run into someone who is a bigger dick and still refuses. Then you gotta walk out. You don’t have your shit, they gotta restock the shit - everyone loses, which is what happens when everyone is a dick, but at least you didn’t pay to much for the shit. So you’re a loser, and a dick, but you have that one minor victory going for you.
Oh, and fsck the pobes!

Bothersome to carry? The stores around here that use them let you put in your phone number if you don’t have your card. Obviously, if you made up a phone number to go along with your phony address, you’ll need to remember the fake number.
It’s not that hard to remember to use it. The clerk will remind you if you forget.

I usually shop at Safeway (has cards) and Shoppers Food Warehouse (no cards). Shoppers is definitely cheaper, but is always dirtier and has less brand selection.
Safeway is just nicer - the clerks are helpful and cheerful, and I can buy a big Vat O’ Coffee at Starbucks to guzzle while I shop. The meat and produce at Safeway are vastly superior to Shoppers.
Shoppers is the type of place where the checkout clerk comments on what you buy, which I find highly annoying. “Lean Cuisines? You’re not fat, hon, why you buyin’ them? Two gallons of milk? You gonna drink all that 'afore it goes bad?” :rolleyes:

Come on, Balthisar, you’ve got to come back here and tell us what a pobe is. This just may be the next I Burning Your Dog…don’t you want to be famous? :smiley: