I Pit Minor Dating

The BBQ Pit
1

“God damn you’re 13; you’re way to young to date!!! What will you do to pleasure her, give her animal crackers?” - Yahoo! Answers (I fixed the bad grammar)

I completely agree with this quote. What can minors really do? Most of them can’t even drive, they can’t even (I should be saying “we” because I’m a minor too) have s e x (and shouldn’t as it’s something that should be waited out until marriage). And dating is supposed to mean “no supervision”, not parents can come along too, but when you’re a minor, this rule is pretty hard to follow.

How can you really even date? I don’t really consider minor dating to be “dating”.

And even if it is, they’re way too young! This is not the age to be dating. Wait until you’re an adult. You’ve got years ahead of you to worry about that stuff, but why waste your time now especially when there is a lot of other stuff to worry about as well!

I understand that it isn’t always the case that your grades suffer because of dating, but it’s quite likely and it has happened before. Notice how in India, we don’t date until adulthood and we have much higher performance in academics especially mathematics, and a much lower divorce rate.

At the other side of the spectrum, the other disadvantage is the significantly increased likelihood of molestation/s e x. It doesn’t take much for a guy to do that at this age, and when they’re still young teens, they’re much more likely to do it then if they were a young adult. Honestly, it isn’t that hard for that situation to occur.

If you really like the girl, just be great friends with her. I don’t object to hugs in school, or any in-school activity that may be questioned for dating. But my point is, keep it in school, and just be friends. It’s okay to text/call, and have little physical touching (like hugs, or at the very most, hand-holding in school), but that’s the maximum it should be kept at. You know how most high school relationships FAIL! So why risk ruining a nice friendship with this girl especially when the chances of it happening are quite high.

“You’re not even physically attractive at this age.”

I agree with this quote as well. You really aren’t until you’re a young adult.

“It’s not only about sex, but the emotional part of this can be very difficult as well.”

I agree with this too because minors are not really ready to deal with the emotional aspects of it as well.

As a side note, I’ve also noticed that it’s unfortunately becoming more socially accepted. Two years ago, when I almost fell into the dating trap as a 7th grader, adults used to always get mad at me for dating, but now when I look, it’s happening a lot less. It’s getting more and more acceptable to date at such a young age by the day, it seems like. I don’t know why, but it’s not a good thing.

2

So from the grand maturity of what, 15 or 16, you want the 13-year-olds off your lawn. :rolleyes: Or is it that you had your fun, and now you don’t want anyone else to?

Envious what!

3

Serious answer, as a gay person who couldn’t really date until I was a full adult:

Practice. How to ask people out. How to bear minor rejection. How to plan a date. How to incorporate a new boyfriend / girlfriend into your circle of friends. How to remove and ex-boyfriend / -girlfriend from your circle of friends. That sort of thing.

4

None of those. I just against minor dating.

Don’t make assumptions such as, “You aren’t over (this),” etc. because it’s simply not true.

What I’ve typed up is actually what I believe and not because of some assumptions that most people make.

5

I get this a lot as well. No, you do not need “practice”. Look at India; they’re doing just fine and have lower divorce rates by 40%! And people, don’t date there until adulthood. This reason of “practice” is not a good argument because anyone can learn this as an adult. There’s no reason to start at a younger age.

6

Yes. And also how to realize that the end of a relationship is not the end of the world as we know it.

ETA: I really don’t think India is a valid comparison, not in a place where a woman is shunned all too often for being a divorcee. You can’t say a divorce rate is low unless you live in a place where divorce is acceptable and still people don’t divorce.

Personally I think “until death do us part” is kind of crazy anyway, to be applied to the general public. That’s anywhere up to 70 years of being together with someone, if you marry at 20, regardless of any other changes in your life. But all that aside, many, many marriages in India are unhappy, just as in anywhere else, and all too often you hear about love being tossed aside to have an arranged marriage somewhere.

7

Up to, and until, you can tell us why you think this, perhaps you should consider keeping your 9th grade opinion to yourself!

Again, as someone with all the experience of a ninth grader, has it even occurred to you that the world is unlikely to look to you as arbiter of ‘how things ought to be!’ You admittedly have no actual experience with this yet feel certain you ‘know’ what should be, for everyone. One day, when you’re older, it will occur to you how foolish and arrogant this position really is.

That something ‘has happened’ is not a solid argument against something. Children have been born with horrible deformities! Doesn’t mean we should all stop having children!

Minors learn from life experience. If you want them to handle emotional aspects as adults you’ll have to let them learn sometime, have a try out. Better to do so while their peers are, than years later when they will be ill at ease over their own backwardness.

Ever notice how in India it’s still practiced for people to throw acid or light aflame a daughter in law they don’t care for? Or how people still maim their children to be productive beggars? Or routinely abort female offspring in favour of males? Or murder their own children for shaming the family name? Yeah, maybe India isn’t the country to look to, or brag on, when it comes to such things. You may wish to think your argument through a little better in future.

What? He’s young so he’s more likely to rape or assault someone? If you give someone understanding, ‘because it doesn’t take much for a guy at this age’, you are decidedly wrong headed. It takes exactly the same thing, for a male to assault a female, when they are 12, as when they are 20. A complete disrespect and disregard for the humanity of another living person. Do not attempt to diminish sexual assault to being ‘her fault’ for being out with a younger man, that’s not the truth.

I would highly recommend you save your expounding on ‘how it ought to be’ and how everyone ought to do as you do, and how awesome it is in India, until you are a little more mature. At least mature enough to understand why your position, as you’ve stated it, is pretty weak.

Everyone thinks they know it all, when they are your age. Then, when they get a little older, they are aware of just how wrongheaded they were, to their embarrassment!

8

Many adults actually agree with me, still!

9

Why do people date?

Because they can, son.

10

Considering being divorced still packs some serious social stigma in their culture and in less urban areas you might have a hard time finding help processing one at all. Roll in a predilection for multi generational households and divorce looks pretty much impossible. When you are looking at making you, and the bulk of your immediate family homeless, you put up with crap that would send most US women on a homicidal rampage.

11

You mean minors dating each other? Two tweens hanging out at a movie holding hands? That is what you’re against?

Seems like an irrelevant silly opinion but you are welcome to it.

12

Yes. That, and just minors dating in general.

13

Y’know, this is usually passed around Facebook from American to American, but I think it works here, too: Other Cultures Are Not Failed Attempts At Being You

14

I am Indian, by the way, or at least of Indian descent. I have seen Indian people ostracized here, in the States, by other indians, for getting divorced. Marginalized and cut out of every social function.

That’s here. And it’s 90% directed against women. One of the women that were ostracized divorced her husband because he was in an institution. He was violent towards his children, often. His children were the politest and best children I ever met, and his wife, a lovely lady, but these Indian people still whispered about her being divorced behind her back.

I can’t imagine trying to emulate India in, of all things, marriage. Some thing I think we should all be aware of: Just because a marriage lasts doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a success.

15

And people who can’t get a date troll message boards, whether they actually are 13 or just emotionally stunted to a 13-year-old’s level of maturity.

16

Nodnodnod

17

I’m trolling message boards? :confused:

No, people always make the assumption that posts like these are caused by rejection/not being able to get a date, but it’s not always the case, and definitely not the case right now. I could get a date if I wanted to, but actually can’t because my parents wouldn’t approve of it, and two, I don’t WANT to date right now.

Trust me, I want love to, but it’s way too early if you’re under 18.

As a side note, I would like to know why it’s becoming increasingly acceptable to date as a minor. Two years ago, you would always get adults yelling at you for dating, but now they don’t yell at you that much anymore. Of course, many still agree with me, but it seems like that number of people is decreasing. Why?

18

Because we don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I wasn’t allowed to date as a teen but certainly all my friends were allowed to. This is the 80s and 90s we’re talking about. Maybe 13 or 14 is too young, but 15 through 18 certainly isn’t.

19

Demonstrating why it’s not a good idea to look to India for the ideal. Lots of adults beat their wives and children. Weakest argument yet. I have no problem believing your in 9th grade!

Look, no one is saying you shouldn’t do what you feel works for you. But maybe consider that you don’t know what’s right for everyone, based solely on what you feel is right for you. At the very least, wait until you’ve actually dated, married successfully etc before holding forth on what ‘ought to be’ for the rest. You speak from a position of zero experience at present. Watching from the outside, as you’ll discover when you mature, is decidedly different entirely, from participating.

I wish you nothing but Good Luck!

20

You’re the kid who lectures all the other kids, aren’t you? I suspect we’ll find out shortly that you’re a kid who gets beat up a lot too.