I Pit Mozart

Not vitriolic enough to actually put in the Pit. And not a Pit of Mozart himself.

But picture this – some organization is throwing a party or fundraiser. All of the tables have white tablecloths. Chefs in white paper hats stand at the ready at steam trays, bunson burners aglow. 40 pounds of cheese have been cut precisely into 1/2 inch cubes. Tiny spring rolls abound. Huge bowls of cold shrimp await the devouring.

That, in and of itself, just oozes class. What else could one want?

Wolfgang! Amadeus! Mozart! It is never, ever, anyone else. And it is, 99% of the time, Eine Kleine Nachtmuzik or Symphonia Concertante. Almost never, ever, anything else. It’s almost as if the party organizer asked a friend what kind of music is real classy and borderline pretentious. It’s almost as if there is a CD called Real Classy Stuff You Can Play At Parties to Make Them Seem Real Classy.

Not to rank on Mozart, mind you. But it’s time to retire that music. It’s overplayed. And party organizers need to be hit with a wet trout. And break out some John Cage, please!

I’m more of a Beethoven man myself.

They might have been playing 4’33", and just by coincidence some Mozart was playing at the same time.

Yeah, I vote for Spike Jones’ You Always Hurt The One You Love for some real class! :smiley:

One time a hotel Mrs. J. and I were staying at had a nice Sunday breakfast buffet, and to project an aura of class they had a harpist playing classical pieces.

It was with difficulty that I resisted the temptation to request that she play “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road”.
For a moment I thought the OP was “I Pit Mozart’s” (Mozart’s is an upscale coffeehouse/pastry place that has a few stores in our area). The last time we ate there they had a pianist playing on a Saturday afternoon to a handful of customers, most of whom weren’t paying any attention to him (including us). He got peeved and started making snide cracks about the audience to the one couple who was acknowledging his presence. Very strange vibes.

Anything, as long as it’s not Pachelbel’s Canon.

And I haven’t heard Eine Kleine Nachtmuzik in years. I guess I don’t get invited to those ritzy joints where tdn hangs out.

I went to a concert this spring by an alt/folk trio and they used that song as the encore, but did it straight. It was a little disconcerting to hear it not Jonesified.

Mozart on the Menu: A Delightful Little Dinner Music. Guess what’s the first track?

But don’t blame poor Wolfgang! Pit the sinner and the horrendous abuse they inflict on him!!!

Now, the idea of alternating between Beethoven and Cage for such occasions is something I do like the sound of :slight_smile:

Elitist! (but seriously, I’m a little jealous. How do you get to go to all these swanky affairs?)

They didn’t have those at BC?

They have a bunch at the hospital. I’m invited to a few of them, but often I’m just passing through on my way to somewhere else. (They usually hold them in a lobby.)

The gym where I work out is in a building owned by Harvard Medical School. At the start of the school year, they had a bunch of welcoming events for the students. I had the extreme displeasure of being assaulted with K 525 each and every time. Hence this thread.

Dude. Make up your mind…


Mozart’s a dick.

Well, it must not be the shoes.

I live in a decidedly less classy area. Around here the “classy” music would probably be Kenny G. Either that or I’ve been to too many wedding receptions.

I pit Mozart for being too repetitious. And for writing “The Magic Flute,” which I had the misfortune of sitting through for twelve days one evening.

I would too but at least he’s no Haydn.

I’d Pit you all for pitting my favorite (classical) composer, but my head hurts too bad right now.

There’s nothing wrong with Mozart or Beethoven or Haydn. Really.

This shit just gets old because it’s played out. At any “classy” function, you’re going to hear the Top Ten. Over and over and over again. There’s no depth and no attempt at something new. Just the same Top Ten over and over and over again.


Sinfonia Concertante - I don’t have a problem with that :slight_smile:

Actually, I’ve never heard the Sinfonia Concertante played in an elevator music setting… I think you mean the first movement of Symphony 41, K551?

Eh, what would you know about it anyway?

Meh. The occasion calls for chamber music, Mozart was good at it, and A Little Night Music played right will be okay once. It’s a good piece, even if Madison Avenue has tried to ruin it.

Beethoven is too involved to be good party background music.