So we drink a glass of champagne every year at New Years. It is pretty much the only glass I drink each year. But every year for the last three years they’ve fucked it up. Champagne is not vodka, you can’t stick it in the freezer. So, again, we had champagne slushies 
Sneak it out of the freezer next time. Problem solved!
Awesome! But where do you get the 48-oz flutes?
Hilarious.
Zamfir’s house.
At least you didn’t have my least favorite drink: Champagne Freezer Explosion.
This year I discovered Brut champagne is Not The Devil, but it was room-temperature, so I go pit the opposite end of the NY champagne spectrum!
Presumably this is for faster chilling. Next time, take control of the process, and stick the bottle into a bucket of ice and salt water. (Make sure the water is plenty salty.) Rapid chilling, no slush.
Or set a timer.
Buy it a day early and put it in the fridge? If they show up with theirs at least they won’t do it to your champagne.
And why didn’t you say “Uh, remember last year?” or did you and they’re too dense?
Just go with it and switch to vodka.
Considering that I spent my New years with a pitcher of homemade sangria, who needs champagne? Squeezed the blood oranges myself.
I suppose this is one fringe benefits to joining a family that’s been hurt by alcoholism–no one messes up the drinks because no one really drinks to begin with.
Don’t forget to wipe down the bottle before pouring, though. Ya really don’t want that salty water in your glass of bubbly. Or wine. Or even a goddamn margarita.
The opposite end would be hot mulled champagne. 