I Pit real-life Borg

Why? Once these people’s last link to the real world is severed, they’ll all be dead of starvation inside a few weeks. Okay, the rest of us will have to pick our way carefully around the withered cellphone-clutching corpses for a while, but let’s face it, apart from that, there’s no downside.

Everybody knows that to be properly distracted, you need not a Bluetooth headset but an iPod.

snort

Cracked me RIGHT up.

Okay, thanks for the explanation on the oyster wings, Never heard of 'em before.

Me, too. And I agree with them completely. It’s insanely rude to try to carry on two conversations at once.

My only complaint is that the Baskin-Robbins near me has the following sign:

All the extraneous “quote marks” make me “crazy.”
:smack:

No, they won’t live long enough to starve to death. They’ll walk out into traffic and get run down by somebody talking on his cell phone. Lawsuits will ensue and then maybe we will finally get people used to the idea that there is a time and a place for everything and walking or driving around is not the time to be talking on the phone or surfing the net.

Y’know, I know we are’nt supposed to wish death on anyone here, but still and all, I’d love to see like a video compilation of people harming themselves while talking on cellphones, such as walking into open manholes, into traffic, off the edge of cliffs, things like that. Set to, I dunno, the Benny Hill theme. People prattling into phones is a pet peeve of mine, especially mundane shit. Cellphone calls should be about close relatives near to death, or other such emergencies.

Were not supposed to wish death on other Dopers. Knock yourself out.

When I bounced at the pool hall, I found it absolutely hilarious how many guys came in with these things attached to their heads, as if some young hottie would see it and think, “Ooh, he’s a high roller! I must fuck him!”

To the best of my knowledge, it didn’t work.

Let me guess, your fancy-ass valet Publix? Heh.

I have to admit I often talk to my Mom with the earbud while grocery shopping, it’s kinda become our regular talk time. But before I’m about to talk to the cashier or anybody else I inform my Mom that I’ll be giving my full attention to somebody else for a bit, stop speaking to her until after the transaction/conversaton, then only continue when I’m done paying (or whatever). That seems to work OK, and I haven’t noticed any dirty looks or anything.

Add a series of painful electric shocks to the ear lobe for non-compliance, and I think we’ve got a winner!

Oh, Lord, I can see the lawsuits now …

Usher: Court is now in session in the matter of People of East Dakota vs. The Borg Collective, the Honorable E. Ronald Mallu presiding, all rise.

Borg Drone: … so I was talking to Shawna and she was, like, no way, and I was, like, yeah, it is so, dude, and …

Usher: Be upstanding in court!

Borg Drone: … She said what? But I talked to Shawna earlier, and she was, like, yeah, well …

Judge: All right, I’ve had enough of this. Sir, you are showing disrespect for this court and for these proceedings, and I am holding you in contempt. Bailiff, remove him!

Bailiff: … I thought, maybe, if I go on to the store after this, and you go pick up Sandy from school, we can all meet up at the theater about six, yeah? …
It could go on for years.

I work at a public library. It has definately made it harder to tell our good old fashioned crazy people from the just plain rude ones.

Then a tour through the Gallery of “Misused” Quotation Marks oughta drive you completely over the edge. :smiley: