I suppose if that’s good enough for you. Personally, I can find find find compatible friends who enjoy the same thing.
So am I the only one who had a Monty Python moment while reading the OP? newcrasher, the next time you admonish your kids in their presence, say “One… two… five!”
The self-invitation to stay over is way over the top. We had family friends who did this, and they passed it on to their kids. Years after I lost all contact with them, I came home late on night after drinking with friends, to find the son and his friend in my bedroom. They knew it wouldn’t be a problem to stay over. Grr!
It was OK (sort of) because he was a good kid, and didn’t make a habit of it. His mother, on the other hand, sounds like the woman in your OP. But with added bragging about her kids in every aspect.
I have a different idea. I know it’s not overly snarky, witty, passive aggressive, just plain aggressive or new.
Why not just tell her how you feel, why it’s annoying to you and ask her to stop?
“We’ve noticed that you take issue with the way we conduct many things in our lives. Recycling, disciplining our children, not lighting our kids hair on fire to name a few. The goal seems to be to belittle us by comparison. We love spending time with you, but this behavior is making us reconsider our friendship. We really rather not have it come to that. Would you mind holding your tough on these types of issues so we don’t lose our friendship?”
They either act like adults and stop it and your better off, or they don’t and you have the same options as before.
That’s my wife. Fortunately, she admits to her OCD-ness with regards to living green. The latest has been unplugging everything, since apparently there was some energy expert on Oprah who related some “big statistical number” relating weepy-eyed baby penguin populations to domestic energy consumption.
Look, the coffee grinder does not use energy when not plugged in, but no amount of scientific reasoning will delete the “wall sockets = dead penguins” from her mind.
I’m buying one of those “Kill a Watt” meters…wonder what she’ll think when that LCD display reads “zero”
What??? Deal with the problem openly, directly, and honestly!? Are you insane???
I really like this idea. You might want to omit the line about her goal being to belittle. In fact, you definitely should omit that. No need to bring her intentions into it. It’s her actual behavior that matters, not why she’s doing it. And if you bring it up, she’ll make the conversation about her intentions, not her actions.
I am balancing my carbon footprint by not having children. That counts right? That’s how I soothe my mind for not recycling, driving too much, keeping my home at 77 degrees all winter, and eating any damn thing I please. A) I’m guaranteeing that less resources will be needed. And B) The end result of whatever happens is off my conscience. If I had to care about the future of the planet, I’d be as freaked out as your friend.
And I’d have blown your friend off with her passive aggressive bullshit before she even got to the recycling.
When I run into a passive aggresive type and I care enough (Say if they’re a friend) to respond, I ask them this sort of question:
“If you had bad breath bordering on offensive, you would want me to tell you, right?” They usually agree, so then I say “Well your comment about “The dog’s tartar build up” was quite offensive as I find passive aggresive people to be socially unnacceptable, perhaps more so than bad breath.”
Generally it makes them think twice about behaving that way…
Huh? My point was that if people enjoy one-upmanship, they can find other people who like one-upmanship to hang out with them because then they would be compatible. Since the OP doesn’t seem to enjoy one-upmanship with his guests, he probably shouldn’t hang with someone who does.
I didn’t actually say anything about my personal preference.
I recently cut someone out of my life for this same type of passive-aggressive bullshit. You wouldn’t believe how freeing it is not to have to watch someone bolster their fragile ego at the expense of others anymore.
She’s obviously one of those people who enjoys playing one-upmanship with people who do not enjoy it. There are a lot of people like that. They are bullies, and cowards, because they enjoy being negatively competitive with people who don’t typically fight back. People like that don’t really want to find someone like themselves; they specifically target the mild mannered and polite non-fighters. In fact, if she ever got it back in the same way she delivers it she would cry foul, play the victim, and try to portray the person who bested her as an unfair meanie villain. She employs bullying tactics and guilt to keep the game one-sided, so she can always win. In her world being “compatible” means she wins every round, and she only feels she’s compatible when she feels like she’s always better than her companions.
I don’t know your city or the trucks they use, but here (NYC), if you didn’t look carefully, you might think the same. Truth is that the back of the truck is segregated.
I have friends, coworkers, neighbors, relatives and sometimes perfect strangers that have given me brief moments of “I’d like to kill ya”
But gawd almighty I am not subject to crap like this on a regular basis by any of em…or any of the other similiar threads where person XYZ is driving the OP batshit insane with rage, anger,vfrustration, and dispare!
Wow, not only do you know what this woman is like without having met her, you also know how she would react in a situation that hasn’t happened yet. You’re pretty specific with your generalizations.
How about if we let her worry about how she’ll behave in her next relationship? I think it’s sufficient for the OP to worry about how he’ll handle her. He doesn’t also have to think about her needs with her next friends. I was just pointing out that he doesn’t have to hang out with her; I’m sure she’ll find someone else, possibly someone even more compatible. . . or not.
