I pit screaming kids in a restaurant and asshole parents and spineless managers

The BBQ Pit
61

My little girl has done fine in restaurants from 16 mos. onward. The greatest tool in any parent’s repertoire? Distraction. Get there attention quickly, and do something awkward. Flip a coin. Talk about something they can see on the table. If they’re old enough, ask about what colors they see. Teach them the words for the new things they see. In my experience, the only difficult part is getting her attention. Sometimes, I’ve had to take her outside to do this. But, once you have their attention (and, by extension, they have yours), it’s a piece of cake to direct it at something of interest other than throwing a fit.

My daughter has not given us many problems in restaurants because they are wonderful opportunities to learn and discuss new things.

The best lesson I ever got from my mother about parenting was to always stop for a second and consider the child’s perspective. So… you’re 2 years old, and all the people who normally spend all day talking to you are talking to each other and ignoring you. What, by your reasoning, is the best way to get the attention back on you, where it obviously belongs? They aren’t exactly Einsteins yet, and they don’t have any ethical calculus to weigh the good of getting attention against the evil of disrupting everyone else’s meal.

I’ve never been on restaurant wait staff, but back when I was in retail management, I used the very direct approach to out-of-control kids. I bent down to get face to face with them, they got The Look, along with “Don’t (do whatever)”. Most of the time, in today’s non-confrontational world where strangers leave other strangers and their kids alone, that scared the piss out of them, and they’d go run to Mommy or Daddy to save them from the evil giant. Most of the time I felt sorry for them; they were literally hiding under the counters after I went to see them. In the cases where the child was too young for this approach, the parents would be informed. “Excuse me, ma’am, but did you realize that your child almost cut himself running past the edge of that shelf there?” usually works well.

Re: the OP, anyone who continued to curse at me or any fellow employee got a single, unambiguous warning, and then was asked to leave and never return. A call to the police was only necessary once, usually the threat was enough to make them realize that they were out of line. The one time it got serious, my boss recieved three calls commending me on my professionalism in handling the situation. I honestly dont’ know if I’d throw someone out for having a screaming child with them… but I damn sure would have if they’d cursed at me for suggesting that they needed to handle it.

62

You didn’t say if the restaurant was a chain - like Macaroni Grille or Olive Garden, but I’ve come to avoid chain restaurants like the plague. I may sound like a snob, but I’d rather fork over more $$$ and have a pleasant dining experience. I fully understand the child was being a child, but the child should be a child somewhere where it is mutually agreeable for the child to be a child - like Chuck E. Cheese or McDonald’s playlands.

VCNJ~

63

Hmm, my parent’s theory was that the kids are bored. Don’t take your children out to a restaurant if you and the other adults are going to talk OVER them the entire time. Either include them in the conversation, or give them something to do (colouring books for example).

My sisters and I were never bored in the restaurant because my parents talked to us all the time. It was a FAMILy outing, not mum and dad having a night out and having to drag the kids along. We were never ignored for any period of time, and if you’re not bored you neither have to seek attention nor do you have to manufacture your own entertainment.

64

I always tried to take my kids outside the restaurant (if they were acting up) while my husband stayed inside waiting for our food to be served.

65

No, I agree that if you were unable to eat the main course then you should not have to pay for it.

66

How are you so sure? Daddy may just be a crude cretin who yells at anyone, and the manager could be a quiet retiring type who would not handle confrontation with a loud woman well. The sex here may be irrelevant. And it would probably be better if Daddy had never had any. Then, no kid.

Oh, wait - the Pit. Fuckshitcocksuckinggoatfelcher

67

Do any doper parents still inflict the look? Learned from my parents, it is the equivalent of whatever the hell you’re doing, you’d best stop doing it right goddamn now or I’ll feed you to the wolverines! It was very effective on my siblings and me, and littlecats knows the look, although thankfully, she’s a well-behaved child. Lucky for her-I’ve got the number for Wolverine Express, just in case. :wink:

68

I learned the proper Look techniques from my mom whose idea of parenting was to carefully instill The Fear of God into me. Believe me, after The Look, there would be pinching (under the table, of course, to avoid people thinking she was abusive). I usually responded pretty well to The Look.

Then there’s the Counting to Three…again, followed by some sort of physical pain if I didn’t comply.

69

If it’s a chain, I’d consider writing a letter copied to both the manager of the local restaurant and to the corporate headquarters, certified, return receipt requested.
Worth a shot, anyway.

70

About twenty years ago something very similar to the OP happened to my wife and I.

It was our 10th anniversary and we decided to go to a Steak and Ale restaurant. Not top of the line but much nicer than we usually had funds for a dinner out.

We had recieved our entrees and a family was seated one table over. The father was obviously intoxicated and the three kids were little terrors. They yelled and screamed and the parents were oblivious to thier actions. Two of the kids went to an unoccupied table and began stabbing the leather chairs with forks.

I got up from the table and told the cashier about what was happening. The manager approached the table and warned the parents to controll the kids. I pointed to the fork stabbed chairs. The manager then told the father that he would be responsible for the repair cost of the chairs. The father became indignant and loud. He also said that not only was he not about to pay for the chairs but was not going to pay for the bill either!(they only had time to consume a couple bloody marys each).

Manager apparently repaired back to the desk and phoned the police.

The manger brought us our bill personally and on the bottom had printed COMPED. I slid a twenty into the leather pouch anyway and we left( probably wouldn’t have covered the whole bill, but might make a nice tip for the waitstaff.)

In the parking lot the police were having a talk with drunken father and he was VERY attentive standing there in handcuffs.

Somtimes things just work out.

71

An update.

Letter to the Houston area office went in the mail today, cc’ed to the site manager.

Let’s see what happens.

72

Yes, please let us know the response. As a veteran letter-writer, I am naturally curious/nosy about such things.

73

Unquestionably? Sometimes even good kids have bad days. This does NOT mean that anyone else should have to listen to the kid scream, but I don’t think it’s fair to make a sweeping judgement about the whole family because the kid is behaving badly. What matters is how the parents handle it, and they may be shy about being forceful in front of people (which is why they should take it outside).

Most parents would not want to hit their kids in public. Understandably so, I would think. Why not just take the kid outside rather than do violence to him in front of a restaurant full of people?

I feel sorry for your kids, if you have any, which I hope you don’t.

74

I was at a local bar and grill with a friend a few years ago and there were two women and (I assume) their children sitting in the booth behind us. These children were not toddlers. The youngest was probably around five and the oldest would have been nine or ten. The children were making all sorts of racket, including picking their plates up and slamming them back down on the table while screaming something that sounded like “Dookey, dookey, dookey.” My friend and I tolerated it for a while, but then my friend finally broke down and asked a manager to ask them to be quiet. The manager refused, saying—in a somewhat scolding tone—“We consider ourselves to a family restaurant.”

75

Actually it’s just the manager’s job - that’s why they’re called managers.

76

Even McDonalds. Obviously, you put up with more noise at fast food, but screaming full volume just for fun should not be allowed indoors. I used to go to McDonalds for lunch once a week when I was first in Japan, and place was across from a hospital where mothers would take their kids in for checkups. Sometimes there would be groups of mothers/kids and while the mothers would be chatting amoung themselves, they would let these 2 year-olds scream at the top of their lungs. Ever try eating with that going on?

77

Generally the situation seems to be better in the UK than in the US. IME children are much better behaved in restaurants in the UK, and I don’t know why. It could be that when I’m over there I eat at places that aren’t frequented by parents with children, but then, I eat at McDonald’s a bit too. Typically I have more problems with beggars coming up to my table and harassing me than with screaming children.

The whole “every child is an invaluable treasure and should be allowed to do anything it damn well wants to or it’s abuse” mentality of the parents I know in the US has become sickening and borders on an actual mental illness, like an obsessive fad or destructive belief system. We go out of our way to avoid places where children and their passive-agressive co-culprit parents are likely to congregate, which essentially limits us to very expensive places or places where kids will not eat the food. Thankfully most American children, hooked completely on the obesity drug of “hamburgerfrenchfriescoke”, would have to be tasered and rhino-tranq’ed to go into an Indian restaurant, so our times out for curry blissfully quiet and civilized.

Except when we eat with Skipmagic and Auntie Em - those two are like animals. :wink:

78

Actually, it’s now manifested itself as a bona fide belief system. Aliens, new-age nutters–something for everyone.

79

Holy dogshit. That site’s a parody, like Bonsai Kitten, right? Right?

Isn’t there another cult o’ the children that people on here get up in arms about frequently? I think it’s a message board.

80

In any case, it’s been enough to inspire a DVD.