I’m really pissed right now.
For the last year or so, my twin sister has been doing the job search thing while preparing to graduate with her PhD in biology. It has been a stressful time for her, what with a thesis to write and defend, resumes to write and send out, multiple presentations to give on her research, papers to grade, tests to take, and all the anxiety that comes with leaving school for the first time and entering the Job Market. During this time, she has had several interviews that have all gone well and seemed positive, but then something happens and the employers don’t get back to her. Oh well. Them’s the breaks, right?
Well, this last job seemed really really promising. She goes down to Miami and interviews with a professor that is looking for a senior technician for his team. The interview is light and informal; he’s already perused her resume and seems more than satisfied of her credentials, so he grills her very little. They go out to the Everglades with a few others from the lab and chat about plants and alligators. At the end, he tell her he wants to hire her. Boy, is my sister estatic. It’s such great news! A job! A great job! In Miami! After all these months of wondering what she’s going to do and where she’s going to be doing it, finally someone is giving her a chance! No more worrying about where her next meal is going to come from. No more stressing over her dwindling bank account. No more feeling like a stupid and worthless person that no one wants to hire. No more feeling depressed and helpless.
Flash forward a couple of weeks. My sister has tried to touch base with the professor a couple times by phone after waiting for him to get back to her (like he said he would), but it seems like he’s brushing her off. She’d sent him a nice thank-you message. She was polite and not pushy. Finally, after her hair turned all white and she entered menopause (exaggeration, folks), he decides to call her and tell her that he has re-assessed the situation and is interviewing other candidates. “Oh, I thought that the positioned had been offered to me,” my sister says. “I know. Sorry for the confusion,” he replies. Click.
Now I know employers can do whatever they want, but I just don’t get this. He offered the job to my sister at the end of the interview, so if the interview had gone badly why did he offer her the job? If she wasn’t what he was looking for, he should have just said so or used the “I’ll call you, don’t call me” cliche. If someone with better qualifications had applied right after the interview and the professor was more impressed with them, it’s extremely tacky to shaft the person you said you were going to hire when someone else knocks on the door. I don’t know what could have happened.
My twin has been on an emotional roller coaster this year and I really hate that this dingleberry has acted like this. She’s convinced that she is worthless and no matter how many times I tell that she is smart, capable, and will eventually get a good job, her heart refuses to believe me. I’m running out of things to say that will make her feel more confident about her situation. She’s really depressed right now. She thinks there is something wrong with her. Since I’m her twin, the empathy we share is strong, so I too feel bad. I’m venting here.
My twin sister is a regular of these boards. I will not give her name because I don’t know how she’d feel about that, but I’m fairly positive that she will read this thread. I hope that other Dopers will read this and be sensitive to her feelings, and maybe (even though this is the Pit) share some words of encouragement and hope. Maybe even humor. She needs to know she isn’t the only who has been through this kind of experience and came out victorious.