Think chirps are bad? Thank your guardian angel you aren’t dealing with guinea fowl.
Especially a dozen guinea fowl who think they’ve just spotted a predator and have to warn the world.
I feel your pain too.
Years ago, some birds decided that the vent from our kitchen exhaust fan would be a dandy place to build a nest. Which would have been fine, except our bedroom was directly above the vent outlet. And these birds liked to party early and often on the weekends, waking us up from some sorely-deserved sleep as they pried open the vent flaps entering and exiting in the mornings. I swear they banged the flaps with a baseball bat or a heavy-gauge chain, it’s the only explanation.
We used to turn on the exhaust fan in revenge (it was about 10 feet in from the exterior vent opening so this did not in fact result in pureed birdies) but it had no effect. Evidently the birds liked living in a wind tunnel.
We brought someone out to clean it out and put mesh over the outside opening but he took a look, announced that there were currently baby birds in residence, and if we wanted 'em gone that day, we were going to have to do the deed for he was no bird-murderer.
Sigh. What to do? Surely there were plenty of birds in the world and a few less would make no difference, right???
Yeah. we had the guy come back, 2 months later when the premises had been vacated. He pulled about 3 large grocery bagsful of twigs, string, grass etc. that had been left behind by the occupants. Then he put a mesh covering and the problem never recurred.
Frippin’ wildlife!!! please ignore the 4, count 'em, four birdfeeders I now have outside at my new house… :smack:
I had a laugh at the Google ad for this thread:
Secret to Waking Up Early!!!
If it helps any they’re not happy. They’re saying “get the fuck away from my property”. Or, as Sailboat pointed out “I want to get laid, I want to get laid, I want t get laid”.
So no one’s happy really.
Hope that cheers you up.
Hehehehehe…
I would love some chirpy birds.
Right now we have horny woodpeckers. This, combined with their love of the amplification effect of our aluminum attic vents and a metal garden shed outside, mean the first 2 hours of daylight sound like dueling rivet guns.
B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-RRRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPP!!!
B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-RRRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPP!!!
Are guinea fowl related to peafowl? My mother’s parents had a clutch of peafowl for a few years once they lived on their farm.
My mother can still curse up a blue streak about those things.
I want to get laid too. I don’t chirp about it loudly outside other people’s windows at 4 in the morning. 
Just because they’re up at dawn, doesn’t mean I want to be. They need to invent duvets or something.
It’s hard for me even to type this bird’s name but:
MOCKINGBIRDS SUCK!
Though I have to hand it to them, my wristrocket aim has greatly improved. 
-LC
Cats make things worse, sometimes.
I had a LOT of old rose bushes along a fence, and mockingbirds love to nest in them. The neighbors had a cat, which the mockingbirds hated. The mockingbirds would start mocking me at about 3 AM until around sunup when the cat would show up and they would start in on squaking at the cat. Noisy bastards, those mockingbirds. Worthless bastard, no mockingbird killing cat. The cat squaking was a lot more irritating than the normal mocking.
The cat died and I dug up all the rose bushes when I replaced that fence.
The building my hubby used to work at had an outside patio that was very popular for cell phoning since phones wouldn’t work inside the building. A mockingbird took up residence near there and managed to learn every cell phone ring of every person out there, and caused chronic consternation. They are evil, evil birds.
We used to have great big crows that liked to eat at 5 am by cracking nuts or something on the skylight over our hallway right outside the bedroom door. The skylight was too high to whack with a broomstick or something to make them go away, so every day for several years they woke me up with it.
I wake up every morning to one of those.
I was gonna go there, but I figured someone would eventually. 
Rolled out of bed on the wrong side once and pole vaulted out the window…
One morning, a long time ago, I awoke in our Northern Germany barracks building, and opened up the window. The sun was rising, the leaves were budding, the temperature was balmy, and the dreaded Westphalian winter was finally over! I was so happy, I said to my grumpy roommate, “Hey, Mac, look, it’s spring!”
He arose, and came to the window. Looking out into the same view that had made me feel so pleasant, his first thought was, “Oh shit! Those fucking birds will be back any day!”
I soon found out he was right.
Tris
“Sic transit gloria mundi. And Tuesday’s usually worse.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein ~
I had a neighborhood mockingbird that would imitate car alarms- whooop, whooop, whooop, beeeep beeeep beeep, heee hawww heee hawww heee hawww, wheeet wheeet wheet…
Durn stupid tape recorder, uh, bird.
They’re close enough to hybridize.
By the way, did you know that peacocks can be pure white?
Maybe some of our Aussie dopers can verify this…
I was on vacation in Cairns. Beautiful place. I loved it.
Except for those goddamned, screaming, fucking, shrill-ass parrots. Lorikeets. Cockafuckintoos. Whatever.
Clouds of the bastards would flock around in the morning screaming like some kind of down-under banshees. They were pretty little birdies. Very colorful. But they were loud as hell!!
Fucking big mouth budgies.
I woke one morning early,
the earth lay cool and still.
And then I spied a little bird
perched upon my sill.
He sang a song so lovely,
so carefree and so gay,
that suddenly all my troubles
began to fade away.
He sang of far off places,
of laughter and of fun.
It seemed his very trilling
woke up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers,
crept quietly out of bed,
and gently lowered the window
and crushed his fucking head.