I pit the lack of mini-rants on the first page!

The BBQ Pit
261

Okay, so called friends o’ mine. Forty below is predicted here tonight. It’s warm (or at least warmer) there. We’re all aware of this, so the next person who sends me that damn song (Audio, NOT at all SFW – http: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz4i-bWcCCE) is gonna get bitch slapped into next week.

Seriously. I’ve spent 20 years trying to forgive Mr Ledoux for that atrocity. Reminding me of its existence is not nice.

Revenge will be mine. No telling when or where, but all of you will pay.

Piss me off, ya fucking jerks

262

I pit the Business Partners who haven’t yet signed off on the software changes that they requested for our December 3rd (yes, two weeks ago) Scheduled Planned release. Our next Scheduled Planned release date is tomorrow (and is also the final one for 2008) and still nothing from the lazy a-holes.

The changes have been coded (by me), tested and validated by our QA, and sitting in our final test environment for a month and a half now. Why can’t you get off of your fat asses and help us with the changes that you requested in the first place!:mad:

263

I got pulled over by the cops on my way to work yesterday morning and I’m still stewing about it.

So I was crawling along in very slow, heavy traffic, along with everyone else, trying to get downtown without smashing something in the bitter, bitter cold on very icy roads (welcome to winter, Calgary!). I see two cars ahead of me, both signalling to make a left-hand turn out of my lane at the next intersection, so I check the next lane, ease over there, and through the intersection. As I’m entering the intersection, I notice the traffic signal is turning to yellow and I glace behind me to see if the car I just got in front of will run the light. It doesn’t, which surprises me a bit in this town. No big deal.

Except it apparently IS a big deal as, seconds later, I see the cherries start to flash in my rear view mirror. As I’m pulling over, I begin to wonder if the cop thinks I cut someone off or something. I replay the scene in my head and am satisfied that I did everything right. I try to roll my window down, but it’s frozen shut, so as the squad car pulls along side me, I crack the door open. “Do you know why I pulled you over?” asks the cop. “No I don’t,” I reply. “You ran that red light,” he barks. Suddenly I am filled with outrage and before my internal censor has a chance to react, I bark back, “You have GOT to be KIDDING me!” And I continue on, “There is NO WAY I could safely stop on that ice back there!!” He answers, “Yeah, well I was able to stop.”

Great. Here comes another stupis ticket from the stupid cops around here because they have nothing better to do. My internal censor does manage to keep me from asking why he isn’t trying to find any real criminals and he finally says, “Consider this a warning!” and then tears off down the road.

Well, on the upside, he didn’t ticket me. On the downside, I really wanted to demand a ticket so I could watch him stand out there in the -28 weather and shiver while filling out the paperwork.

Dick. I’m really beginning to develop a dislike for our local PD. They’ll pull me over for doing nothing, but they’re never around when you actually need them.

264

What is the point of getting generic ‘Happy Holidays’ cards from companies I deal with?

I’ve gotten ones this year from my dentist, home owner’s insurance, and the dealership where I bought my car.

Why do they waste their money sending cards to everyone they deal with? Do they think anyone really says, “Honey, we haven’t received any holiday cards from the car insurance company, I think I’ll take our business elsewhere!”

Save the money and lower your rates.

265

Fuck to to hell and back GlaxoSmithKline and your “new and improved” packaging for Abreva.

Before, you sold a small, expensive tube with .07 oz. of medicine in it that looked like a miniature tube of tootpaste. Awfully expensive but at least I could squeeze out more or less exactly how much I needed and I could always tell how much I had left.

Now you’ve “upgraded” to a fucking, retarded pump. You’re not fooling me, motherfuckers.

The slightest pump, no matter how hard I try to hold back, squirts out 3 to 4 times what I need for my cold sore and your rigid, asstard-sized lip-balm-shaped tube assures I don’t know how much I have left, regardless of the fact I already know it’s only has the .07 oz you originally sold.

For $20.99!!! Your marketing slogan might as might come right out and say, “New and Improved, for a newer, more slimey, ass-reaming!”

And don’t get me started on the insane amount of wasteful packaging you use to enclose both.

266

What’s the big deal with letting me put the pepper on my own food? I mean the waiter or waitress insist on cranking the pepper mill and asking me to call out when it’s enough. What do you think I’m going to do, keep your damn pepper mill? Let me do it - I won’t break it and I’ll give it back.

267

I pit the University of Ottawa bookstore. I ordered the 5 text books I need for my courses which start in January just over 4 weeks ago. Since they have not arrived (like last time when I arranged to have them shipped across the country) I called to check the status. You so calmly noted that the “order is in the system, but was never placed”. You never “placed” the order??!!! What the hell? But just to make sure you had the correct titles, you had me once again tell you all the titles, authors, and ISBN numbers. Then you call me at the end of the day to tell me you can only get ONE out of the five because the others are from publishers in the USA. WTF???

Now I have the pleasure of sourcing the books myself at the busiest season of the year, and try to get them shipped in time for the first week of January. Why can’t you people just effin’ do your job, and let me know if the books are unavailable. I had plenty of time to take care of this 4 weeks ago, but now I get enjoy life behind the 8 ball. What a bunch of morons.

(It is not like it is easy to get such riveting tomes on the topic of “Psychosocial Aspects of Hearing Loss” and “Aural Rehabilitation for Children and Adults”at the local Chapters bookstore)

What a gong show.

268

I feel your pain. I had the same problem with a pricey eye cream – always got more than I needed. I pumped it all out into one of those teensy jars that Carmex comes in, so now I can get just the dab I need.

269

I hate that I am not anywhere near finished all my work for the semester, I hate that the outline for my senior thesis looks like something a nine-year-old shat out for a social studies report, I hate that I’m in every way incapable of planning a paper before writing it (and thus my senior thesis is going to blow chunks and I’m not going to fucking graduate), I hate that I need to fly back east on Friday, I hate Christmas, I hate my family for piling stupid emotional blackmail bullshit on me, I hate that my skin is so fucking dry, and I hate that I got cheated out of my two-hour shift at work this morning because the college administration consists of fucking cuntholes who refuse to venture out of their houses if there’s even a chance that there might be moisture in the general vicinity and thus declared that all offices must open late today.

270

What kind of fucking moron strips all the wires in a light receptacle all the way to the fucking conduit and then haphazardly covers the unneeded portions with electrical tape virtually guaranteeing a fucking short when the light fixture to be installed is flush mounted? Fucker.

Now, I have to live with a massive fucking ceiling fan mounted low in the middle low-ceiling bedroom effectively preventing me from installing my four poster bedframe. And for further making me worry that a fire will originate in some area of the house that I haven’t seen a presumably more fucked-up DIY wiring job. Fucker.

Aaaaand, since I can’t install the bedframe, I am fucking up my shins royally on the end of the supporting structure that sticks out from below my mattress about four inches. Fucker!

271

A handkerchief? WTF!? You expel your diseased mucous into this piece of cloth, many times–and continuously, then place it back into your pocket!?

Whatever.

272

I continue to dream of the day that I can walk into the men’s restroom at work and find that the person before me actually bothered to see if flushing the toilet worked.

For now, that remains just a dream.

273

Literally, A Web Log. You’re welcome. :slight_smile:

274

I’m getting tired of people giving me incredibly unnecessary instructions.

Example: “I’ll be away from my desk for a while; if anyone calls, take a message.” *Take a message? What a novel idea! I was going to just burp into the phone!
*
Example: “Can you call Sara at Company X? Call the main number and ask for Sara.” Whoa…so that’s how it’s done!

Example: “Get Fred to take care of this. Just say, ‘Fred, can you help us out here?’” *What if he says okay? What do I say then?!
*
My mom is the main culprit, but it happens at work too. It irritates me more at work because then I have to stop what I’m doing to have some dillhole tell me this completely fucking obvious crap.

275

That would be annoying. I might be guilty of this with my kids. They’re too nice to say anything, but I’m gonna watch myself. Literally! I’m gonna watch myself! :stuck_out_tongue:

Today’s mini-rant is the e-mail invite for Christmas dinner from my husband’s stepdaughter. I don’t like the woman so maybe my bias is showing when I get pissy at a dinner invite that includes the following: “Please bring two gallons of 2% milk and a side dish.” :rolleyes: I would never invite someone for a meal and tell them to bring something. If they offered, I might make a suggestion, but you don’t include a grocery list in the invitation. Bitch.

276

Bring two quarts of whole milk! :slight_smile:

277

I’m pitting myself.

After this past fall, things are starting to look up. My mother’s health has rebounded, and she just got a clean bill of health from the cardiologist. My father’s long term care insurance is paying off on his claim, so while we will have to move Dad from where he is, now, to meet the requirements of the insurance terms, things are looking up there, as well.

And now that I am no longer under incredible pressure, with the vital need to hold everything together, I can feel my depression coming up the clobber me.

I’ve been pissed off for no reason every day this week. I’m perpetually tired, and procrastinating hugely. I can’t even get the energy to do laundry, except as a last resort.

Oh. And I’m already stressing dealing with my sister this holiday.

Can it be January 12, please?

At least this year my Dad will celebrate his birthday at home.

278

That sounds like me every Christmas/winter. I just hate the cold and the dark so much that it fills me with FURY! FUUUUURY! KILLKILLKILL!!!

So, is there a chance it’s just seasonal and not Big Depression?

279

This trip has been a bitch. Yeah, I got my training and license and everything that I came down here for, but it’s been a bitch. Shitty flight down, plans got changed for the worse, had a winter storm advisory (That’s one of the reasons I left MN, damnit!) and now I am sitting in an airport already 40 min behind, and trying to beat the storm brewing back home.

It’s foggier than shit, so that means crappy takeoff. There’s a snowstorm whipping up at home so that means a shitty landing. There is an unexplained flight delay, so that means they’re using duct tape. I can barely tolerate flying under ideal conditions.

Fuck me.

280

WE still need you! So buck the fuck up! :smiley:

Hope things get better. Any change is stressful, even good changes.