But that’s exactly the OPPOSITE of what I want!!!
Nice. 
I’m sorry you don’t feel well.
Thanks. And really, referencing that story puts all one’s problems in perspective, doesn’t it? And today is actually a lot better - I’ve gotten to what my mom calls the “sexy voice” stage of this virus. Her friend has it too and said the other day she was going to take advantage and do all her voicemail greeting over with the husky voice. 
DISH Network is really starting to piss me off. I’ve been looking forward all this year to the new MLB Network’s debut on January 1st. Yesterday, I decided to look at some details online, and guess what? The only cable/satellite company in my area who won’t be carrying it is the one I’m subscribed to.
I’ve always enjoyed supporting the “little guy” over DirecTV because I like underdogs and because I’ve been really happy with my service over the years. But this might just be a dealbreaker.
Fuckin’ a, DISH…c’mon, guys!
I had to look for some pathology slides this morning (never a simple job at the best of times) and soon found out that the last person who touched them was Dimbulb (the worst of a bad lot). Before I even get done explaining to her how I know she had them, she’s defending herself. “I wouldn’t have seen those! I think Dipshit has them! I might have been sick that day!” Fuuuuck. Better to get started on the recuts than hope this mystery ever gets solved.
Then a lady calls to set up a parentage appointment. After a long speech on how important these results are to her and how they need to be accurate and the sacrifices she’s making to get this done, she tells me that one of the adult participants cannot possibly comply with our requirement to have nothing in their mouths for a full hour before the test. Because they need their tobacco. (This didn’t piss me off too terribly when she first said it, but the more I think of it…)
Plus, I told the lady to stop by this afternoon, and now I’m told the patient area staff are gone until Friday and the front doors are locked. (I always forget that some people get holidays off.) Now I can’t get hold of the lady, so had to leave a note for her on the door. This parentage case was already going to be difficult and this kind of shit isn’t going to help. I used to sort of enjoy these, but seriously, I just don’t want to do them anymore.
I can do a very passable Sam Kinison imitation right now.
Idiot neighbors: It’s an hour too early to be firing off your guns, you tards.
Originally Posted by Asimovian View Post
Give me back my damn fortunes!!! Who the hell thought it was a good idea to stop putting actual fortunes in fortune cookies?! My coworkers and I have been griping about this for a while because the place next door doesn’t seem to provide real fortunes anymore. Example? Today, I got, “You have a strong desire to maintain peace.”
Someone at the retail store I work at got a fortune recently that was taped up beside the timeclock.
It said “Don’t Panic”
We tried to follow that dictate during this holiday season.
Whah? You out in Barstow? Where do people still shoot off guns for New Years?
Dear dickhead cat-owning neighbor in my apt. complex: next time you go on vacation (Christmas holidays or otherwise), please either board the poor thing or take him with you. He’s been wandering around all day, mowling constantly, looking for you.
Hell, they were doing it in my parent’s neighborhood. Nice little suburban city. And firecrackers I think.
Fuck colds. Fuck coughing and running noses and feeling crappy.
And why the hell did my smoke detector go off last night right when I was finally going to sleep? Scared the shit out of me. Actually I thought it was my alarm at first. There was no smoke, no fire, nada. And it wasn’t like the battery was dying either - the thing is wired to the wall. It beeped at least two more times (I may have slept through some others). What the hell?
My girlfriend wants to get a face tattoo.
Of course it’s her body and I can’t choose for her, but damnit I’m gonna have to look at that thing and face tattoos creep me the fuck out. She’s already got two tattoos from friends who died, and now she wants a third? Jesus, girl, you’re only 21. Not everybody gets a fucking tattoo. You’re going to run out of room if you keep this up and have your entire body covered with fucking DEAD PEOPLE when you’re thirty.
Ah, I feel better.
That just makes me cringe.
Not a tattoo on her face, but a tattoo of a face. Just so we’re clear.
Ah.
Okay, I’m not cringing now. I thought you were talking about a tattoo on her face. Tattoos on faces are always disquieting for me.
That would be instant breakup material.
Outside Lancaster.
I debated whether I’d demonstrate my superior noisemaker, but opted out.
The endless infestation of fungus gnats has convinced me to get rid of my plants. I tossed them all yesterday, but now I feel like a plant murderer. I raised some of them from near babies. 
“Drinkability” is utterly and completely retarded.
Dammit Tucows, why do you list something as shareware when it’s a demo?
I accidently formatted my camera memory disk (why there’s not a ‘are you sure?’ question, I don’t know) and am trying to get it back, but I can’t find a so-called ‘shareware’ where you can actually use it once. (I know they’re there. I’ve done it before.)
Yes, I’m an idiot.