Time to update an oldish joke,
What does a gun dealer feel when there’s a mass shooting?
Their wallet getting heavier.
What does a gun nut feel when there’s a mass shooting?
Nothing, recoil is only felt by the shooter.
It’s pretty easy to judge people when you use circular logic. Bad parent? Then the kid will be bad. Bad kid? Must have been the parent. I think your time in education allowed you to see what fit your preconceived ideas, and ignore anything else.
We all fear our kid doing something bad, so if we can convince ourselves that they never will as long as we’re “good parents,” we sleep better at night. It’s still bullshit. Being a bad parent stacks the deck against the kid, but plenty of kids with shitty parents turn out OK, and being a “good parent” isn’t some magic shield that prevents all adverse outcomes. “Very few exceptions?” Bullshit.
I’m beginning to wonder if he has the same attitude as the unlamented Clothahump.
I worked in a very different field than education - but the nature of my job meant I often knew the whole family of siblings ( from teenagers to adults ) and one or both parents. It was not at all unusual to find a family where all the “kids” had criminal records, dropped out of school didn’t work , etc except one . And it was even more common to to encounter a family where all the kids were productive , going to school, had jobs, etc - except one. I’m not saying parenting has no effect - but it’s obviously.
They should be left alone to grieve too. I’m not going to start an argument with them.
I’d be curious to see how that breaks down on income and neighborhood lines as well.
But, in any case, there’s a whole lot of extremely shitty parents out there. Far, far more than there are mass shooters, especially school shooters. Even if she was a shitty parent, that isn’t what made him do what he did.
And I’ve met supposedly excellent parents, and their kids do drugs and shoplift and get into fights, drop out of school and can’t keep a job. Even if she was the parent of the year, that wouldn’t have prevented him from doing what he did.
And it would be a perfectly understandable reaction. But one that shouldn’t be shared all over the internet. OP is a colossal dick. But, hey he’s law enforcement (or former?), so it’s not too surprising.
Then why are you broadcasting them. Asshole.
That was supposed to end “but it’s obviously not the only thing that matters”
My brother and I had the same parents.
I’ve never had more than a speeding ticket to my name. I have my own house, I’m raising a couple of great kids, I have a good career I’ve been doing for decades. I sometimes volunteer to help out at my younger kid’s school and I also donate my spare time to tutoring people or using my IT skills to help folks for free because I like to help people. I’m not a saint or anything (I’ve got many flaws) but I think I’m a productive member of society.
My brother has spent most of his adult life either incarcerated or augmenting his income through crime (drug mule, identity theft, check scams, etc.). He’s in jail even now. My own mom had to get a restraining order against him (and that’s before he assaulted her and tried to strangle her). He’s had domestic abuse problems many times. He’s a dangerous person and mostly unrepentant when I’ve talked to him about it.
Kids aren’t robots programmed by their parents, and anyone who thinks so is willfully ignorant. The evidence against that viewpoint is overwhelming. The way a child is raised has a huge impact on what kind of person they become, but at the end of the day people make their own choices.
Agree with @Atamasama . I know siblings raised by a very good family. During their teens and 20s one was a model child while the other continually got into trouble and caused parental heartache.