The grieving aren’t held to the same standards of appropriateness and sensitivity as random lookie-loos are.
It’s a woman in shock, who isn’t used to talking to media, and we’re getting a translation, not the precise meaning of what she said.
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Maybe the fucking press shouldn’t be “hounding” anyone.
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Someone who lost a child is NOT going to be functioning as well as normal and absolutely should be given greater latitude than normal. Regardless of how and why that child died.
I give any primary mourner (parent, child, sibling, partner of the deceased) two weeks before expecting any but the very most basic of social niceties from them. That is, i expect them not to kill anyone or shit on the street, but if they say something weird or insensitive…eh, mourning can mess you up. Especially if the death was unexpected.
Yeah, this is a good point. To me, the phrase “he had his reasons” sounds like it’s implying that he was justified in what he did; but it’s entirely possible that something was lost in translation.
This to a woman who has done nothing wrong, who has just lost her child, and who is clearly in anguish.
I watch that video and feel nothing but sorrow for that woman.
mmm
Right. That bit would be a classic example of “something you just don’t say even if you’re thinking it”. However even then I’d find it more pit-worthy if it were some sort of arranged interview as opposed to unprepared blurting.
I believe the best thing for families of both perps and victims in any tragedy is to say nothing until they can get themselves composed, and I’d give them a pass on telling the reporter-on-the-scene where to cram the mic if s/he insists on putting them on the spot.
Don’t listen to grieving people. Just nod and move on, they can be quite irrational. It’s the basis for a lot of classic literature, but none of it turns out well in the end.
And in case you don’t know, she didn’t kill any children, her fucking psycho son did it so direct your anger towards him. I know he’s dead and it’s not as satisfying as blaming live people for what happened, but grow up and cut it the fuck out.
Assholes never lack for company.
Well I am going to slide in and join pkbites underneath this pile on.
Because…while she hasn’t committed any crime and is understandably not in a good state of mind to be speaking to the press…I can’t understand why she would say things like “I know he had his reasons” and “Please don’t judge him”. Those are dreadful things to say.
I just hope that this was taken out of context and these sentiments were way down the list of things that she wanted to express.
You can’t understand why a grieving and traumatised woman might say inappropriate things?
She didn’t say either of those things. That’s how what she said was translated. My Spanish is too rusty to capture the nuance of her words.
And even if that is what she meant, I can easily imagine her being of two minds. On the one hand, her son shot up a school, and that is indisputable. On the other hand, it’s her son, and she still can’t imagine him being that sort of monster.
Well it depends what the thing is. It’s not a universal thing where any words that come out of her mouth make sense to me because grieving.
Ah. Well I hope it was a poor translation. Otherwise, yeah, obviously some inappropriate comments are not even a nano-percent of what her son did. But I would still find it distasteful.
I hope you never, ever find yourself in a situation like that.
I’m not sure about that. If there is ever a point where a normally rational person becomes incoherently offensive then I think that is it.
I can’t imagine what it must feel like to be in her shoes, I do fully understand why she said the inappropriate things she did. I’ve no doubt that it hurts the grieving families and it further damages the mother. These are just further knock-on harms that stems from the original crime.
The putative transcript of the relevant portions of the interview, in Spanish, are here.
AFAICT, the translations we’re hearing are substantially correct.
Which changes my position not at all.
Wealthy people defer comment to their PR firms and attorneys. Savvier poor and middle class people decline to comment.
But a mother in this circumstance – including that her son shot what I have to assume was her mother (was it her mother ?) in the face – is probably pretty rattled.
There are also reports that this family was no stranger to various sorts of dysfunction, so assuming that she’s well-placed to give a great press conference in the best of circumstances may be asking more of her than she’s capable of giving.
Let’s face it: there’s nothing she can ever really say that can make anything better. It’s either lose or tie.
Nothing makes sense here, you really ought to learn to deal with that in life. Nobody asks you to do more than disregard what she says. Some people in life have the responsibility to console the grieving, imagine what it is like for them where they can’t just nod and walk away.
How is it hard to understand that someone so distraught and bewildered might be searching for some reason her son did this, perhaps bullying or abuse; and desperate to believe that he should not be judged and condemned - perhaps mentally ill and not just evil?
If we discover a parent has contributed to the act by ignoring warning signals and facilitating access to guns, they deserve everything coming to them. But not for this.
What? What do you know about my life?
I’m just saying that I found her remarks distasteful. That was not a choice on my part. Now, it was a choice to post here, but it’s a discussion forum.
That about sums up my reaction to your OP. However, I’m not thinking of the grieving mother when I’m thinking it. Next time you’re wondering why someone seems to have what you consider to be an unjust animus toward you I’d suggest you come on back here and read this again.
I also might point out that the Uvalde PD has emitted some mighty floods of diarrehtic BS in the wake of their shit poor performance in this matter and yet you’re not offering them flaming cactuses with which to perform anal penetration upon themselves and the rest of their cohort. Gosh, wonder why that could be?