Searching for a reason is one thing, stating that he did have a reason is another. I mean, I doubt anyone could even imagine a sane reason why anyone would do this.
When a microphone is stuck in the face of a distraught and bewildered mother, that nitpicking is a distinction without a difference. You’re not reading her fucking PhD thesis on who is to blame for school shootings.
That’d all be fine, if we were talking about an unbiased person coming to a sober, well reasoned understanding about what happened and why and freely sharing that at a time and under circumstances of their choosing.
But we aren’t talking about such a person nor such circumstances. It is a wonder she managed to form a sentence at all.
I guess that seems to harsh a way to put it. I apologize. Wasn’t all that thrilled with being in the Pit to start with, it changes the tone of conversations.
Everybody should find the remarks distasteful. I don’t know what you are discussing though, it doesn’t help to look further at the words, there is nothing to understand.
Of course not. It’s the opposite. I tend to forgive people for saying stupid things that don’t make sense when they are grieving.
Who knows, maybe she’s a horrible person who drove her son to this. But maybe she’s not. And if not, it has to have been a horrible shock, something she can’t understand. Someone you love was a horrible monster and is dead and can’t explain themselves. That’s a rough place to be.
I suspect that “He had his reasons for doing what he did” was probably not at all an attempt at justification, but more likely an expression of the fact that the mother shared his pain on the many occasions that her son was harassed and bullied. It may well be a case of one tragedy leading to a much worse tragedy. Understanding how terrible outcomes relate to an underlying cause is not at all the same as justifying them. Combine that with the mother’s state of mind and perhaps less than perfect translation of what she was trying to say, one has to conclude that dumping on her is stupid.
This was exactly my thoughts when I heard this. “How could my beautiful baby boy have done such a horrible thing? What was going through his mind? There must have been some reason he felt the need to do this.”
Which comes out badly in an emotional stream of consciousness.
Yeah that’s putting it well.
I guess what I would say is that I think for most people there is a line at which they would have said her comments were inappropriate, For example, and picking something extreme for clarity of illustration, if she had started hitting on the interviewer. For me, what she said was already on the wrong side of that line, but it seems I am in the minority on that. So it is possible that my sensitivity is misconfigured on this one.
Everyone deals with grief in their own way. If I were the mother, we would instead have a video of a news reporter getting, at the very least, a good, energetic cussin’. Because that’s how I deal with grief.
One of the articles posted above stated that the shooter attended the school. Did he target a specific teacher or classroom, one that he may have had?
I’ve never seen a report of anything like that. It’s an elementary school, so his attendance was a decade ago.
Let me start by stating that I am Spanish, a professional interpreter, and the transcript was correct.
But if I had to pit someone, I would pit the reporters. I saw a mother devastated, fighting to understand what has happened. Asking for forgiveness. Looking for a reason for what has happened. In a state of shock. Not someone who has to be introduced before showing her on video as (ominous voice, with theatralic pause) …the MOTHER!
And I would also pit the son and the society that made this possible. The gun culture, the laws that allowed him to buy the arms. Whatever stoked his hate, nourished his desperation.
Better still: don’t pit anyone. Do something to avoid that in future.
Whatever their mental status, we shouldn’t be surprised at the capacity of friends and relatives of people who do evil things to minimize or deny that behavior. People like Ted Kaczynski’s brother and the father of Washington state serial arsonist and murderer Paul Keller (who turned them in to authorities) are exceptional.
60 Minutes once did a feature on Romanian Orthodox archbishop Valerian Trifa, who was being investigated in the 1970s for having been a fascist/Nazi collaborator in WWII and instigating a pogrom against Jews in Romania, later lying to get entry into the United States. I’ll never forget the hatred displayed towards the 60 Minutes reporter by Trifa’s American acquaintances when they were asked what they thought about the case. He was a swell guy; go away, you nasty reporter!
ISTM that this discussion could use a translation of the actual contextual remarks that DavidNRockies helpfully linked to in post #36. As best as I can make out with the help of Google Translate:
I mean, that’s incoherent emoting from a woman who is clearly feeling a lot of pain and guilt, and who is known to have a pretty fucked up life with drug problems etc. Getting mad at a selective out-of-context quote from her interview is just an excuse to avoid taking a hard look at the extent of the underlying problems with gun violence in our society.
Jesus, talk about “self serving and extremely insensitive” statements…
You really are a repulsive piece of crap.
Protect [our own at all costs] and Serve [ourselves first and always]
I feel like maybe Google translate has let you down there. What I read that as is an incomplete thought that be begins “I no more want…” but then never gets finished. But maybe she was on her way to something “I no more want to see my child die than any of yours” or vice versa. Also, I think Google translate might have mistaken phrases intended as second personal plural and read them as third person plural.
Google translate: use at your own risk.
Anyway, allowing for Google translates errors in translates, I agree it seems like she’s just a distraught mother who can’t make sense of why her son did what he did and feels terrible about it. I see her acknowledging she must have had his reasons in the same way we might acknowledge even a deranged lunatic will “have their reasons” for doing something. In a strictly causal sense, not provided as an excuse, particularly as she clearly acknowledges she is at a loss as to what reason he could have had even if he must have had one.
If that was all you did, I don’t think anyone would have objected. It is a distasteful remark when viewed without context. But you defended the OP, who does not merely say that he found the remarks distasteful. It’s a full on attack on a grieving woman for said remark, even using a misogynist slur.
Denial is a stage in grief. She doesn’t believe her son would normally act this way, so she’s hoping there’s a reason. Saying “there has to be a reason” is the type of thing we all tell ourselves.
Did you miss @Pardel-Lux’s post above? The translation is not the issue. And yes, “querer” is often more accurately translated as “love” than “want.” I don’t think you’re going to be able to make the case that what she said was appropriate and commendable, if only it were translated right. But I’m on board with cutting this grieving mother some slack.
I did not miss it, though I am unclear on which transcript is being referred to, if not the Spanish transcript. Apart from the Google translate “transcript” posted later, I haven’t seen any English translations of the whole thing.* I think what the mother said makes perfect sense from a “still grieving, trying to make sense of things” standpoint. I agree: he must have had his reasons. But that’s not a justification, especially if it’s immediately followed or preceded by stating you have no idea what the reason was. I tried to actually watch the video to see her deliver the lines on camera, but apparently that video on that site is not available in the US (and I don’t have a VPN).
So… (1) I agree that the press are rotten here for shoving a mic in her face, even if only metaphorically, but (2) I’ll go against the grain and say depending upon how the lines were delivered, there is a way to read them as at the very least understandable, and not necessarily inappropriate.
Saying a deranged killer must have “had a reason” for what he did is like a statement of fact. Of course he must have. Damned if I (or his mother, apparently) know what that reason was, but he must have had one. That doesn’t mean I (or his mother, or anyone) must necessarily think his reason was a good one.
*If there is a full English translation in the OP, I can’t see it because I have that poster on ignore. Honestly, I almost put this entire thread on mute because I figured the well was already poisoned. Glad to see it’s mostly turned into a pitting of the OP rather than the grieving mother, who I think anyone with an ounce of compassion would cut a little slack for a few more days at least, and that’s even if there is no way to read her words charitably.
So here is an English news story covering the same interview, translating the disputed lines as “And please don’t judge him. I just want … To the innocent children who died, forgive me…”