My friend told me about an IT office he worked in during college. There were several Indian employees there and whatever they ate for lunch could knock a buzzard offa shit wagon. People in the open cube farm took to lighting scented candles at their desks during lunch. When asked about the candles by the Indian employees, one of the people apparently told them it was an American custom. They went back to India eventually, and my friend always wondered why kind of stories they told people about lunchtime in America.
Similar to the eco-hippies who came into the restaurant stinky-- this summer I ran into (and then around) these two guys who’d come to our Antiques Roadshow event. They were sort of Goth/skater-punk looking guys (if such a combination is possible) and I think one had dredlocks.
Mother of God, they stunk. It wasn’t fresh BO but deep, ingrained, lifelong skunky funk. Lord help me they just reeked of dirty asshole. Both of them. As a team.
Why was such a smell a way of life for them? I don’t know. It was so bad, I wanted to ask. They sort of looked like a couple, though – maybe likes attracted. Why would someone smell on purpose? Those of us with enquiring minds (and sensitive noses) would like to know.
I used to be in the Navy, and also lived on a Carrier. We had a dirtbag in our Division too. He’d never shower, or even wear clean uniforms. Never cared about failing inspections, and was getting funky besides.
We were on a Wespac, and stopped off in the Phillipines. During our stay, my Division was expected to qualify some other departments in small arms. This meant carrying weapons, ammo, targets and other sundry items off of the boat, loading it all into vans, and driving out to the range.
The range was in the middle of the jungle.* It was your typical moist blazing hot environment. The dirtbag started to fully ripen under the blazing sun. By the time we were finished, he had to get a separate ride back to the boat. He smelled so bad that we threatened to wash him with wire brushes and dry cleaning solvent. He finally took a shower, then transferred to the Supply Department.
After that, he had it made. He got to wear coveralls!
*We had to post guards when the M-14’s were not in use; the monkeys would try to steal them.
My first fleeting guess is that the OP’s Mr. Stinky might be Indian. As **erie774 ** said, their diet seems to play a part in their overall misama. And yes, while the overwhelming majority of them have personal hygiene standards equal to the most fastidious surgeon, there are some that just smell bad.
Another possibility is he’s got a leaky colostomy bag. UGH!
As for getting the hint across, put a can of Right Guard in a box and ship it to him, or use the interoffice mail.
Charcoal can be useful for smelly farts. It does make the user slightly constipated, however. Chorophyll is what you want for internal odor control. It definately controls feces odor, helps with breath odor, and is reputed to help with body odor.
Ah I see you have observed the noble Earth Muffin in his natural habitat. Truly nice people, but they smell like shit, BO, patchouli and pot. Unfortunately the patchouli is extremely overdone and the pot just adds a musty overtone to the whole frightening bouquet.
I went to an elementary school in a far flung corner of SW Colorado (same place as all the earth muffins). There were many extremely poor folks living out there; one particular family evidently couldn’t afford soap. Their two poor girls - obviously incredibly malnourished and developmentally delayed (the girl in my class masturbated publicly) could just level the whole place. The whole family came in one night for a play or something and I don’t think the school auditorium was ever quite the same.
A few years later, I was actually relieved to hear that the girls had gone into foster care. I saw them once at a town parade and they looked so much better. I also couldn’t smell them from 20 yards away anymore.
We don’t why he smells that way. There have been investigations. For awhile one of the guys here was sure it was these old boxes that had been dredged from some warehouse in some fucked up Alabama swamp and produced as part of discovery. They were being stored in his conference room. So to remove the variable we made room in storage elsewhere and we were like, “hey, good news you don’t need to have moldy boxes up here.” And so he was happy and moved the boxes and the stench continued and continued to follow him.
I don’t think it’s a vitamin deficiency, I’ve seen him eat greens. He probably doesn’t keep the best diet but I’m guessing he’s not got scruvy or anything. The worst part is he doesn’t readily cooperate with testing. I got some altoids once and I was like, aha, now I can narrow another variable. So we’re there and I’m like, “Altoid?” And he says no thank you. So I take one and eat it, and offer again and say “Are you sure? Because they’re free.” And he was like, no I’m fine, what are you trying to tell me something? And I just stared at him for second and didn’t say anything, recalcitrant fuck that he is. He never did take one.
Pro-tip: Someone offers a mint, you take it.
So testing continues but he isn’t very cooperative.
Fucking hell. Weren’t smallpox infested blankets enough for you people? Jesus, cut us some slack. Maybe if you lived on a reservation with worthless land and open sewage, you’d stink too.
Good luck with that. HR will probably note in your permanent record that you cannot get along with people and send you to a refresher sensitivity course.
To be fair, Indians from India do tend to eat highly spiced food and then smell like it. The Indian ladies who used to come in to my old workplace smelled fabulous, like buffet night at the Delhi Palace, but I know some people find some strong smells offensive.
Here’s one suggestion that I haven’t seen anyone mention yet – is it possible that the guy overdoses himself on raw garlic?
I ask because one of my coworkers used to eat raw garlic as some kind of health kick and you could smell him from across the room. It wasn’t just his breath, the smell actually came out in his perspiration, every pore of his body reeked of the stuff. Now I love garlic, I eat it myself (but not raw), but this was ridiculous. It no longer smelled like the garlic that I know and love but a dead animal like my old dog once rolled in.
That’s great.