The scary thing is, the Mixing Bowl (or Malfunction Junction as Typo and I call it) reconstruction has improved traffic flow in a number of routes there! For a long time, if you were coming from the western part of the beltway heading toward the eastern part, you were stuck any time of the day. And there was no way in the world to get from the beltway to 95-south. Both of those are usable routes now.
Best way to improve traffic flow through that area is to install a Metro pipe and a bigass parking lot, then napalm the cloverleaf. Send Godzilla in to stomp on the flaming ruins, and then hit Godzilla with a few cruise missiles. Napalm his corpse, salt the earth, and run a fleet of steamrollers over the debris. Scatter anti-tank mines, plant kudzu and poison ivy, and release a shitload of rabid wolverines into the thicket. Seriously, just take the whole thing out.
With all of those glorious lanes, the damn thing still jams up solid with more than two cars on it. It’s wonderful features include:
- Too many tight turns that are poorly banked create a feeling of loss of control, forcing idiots who can’t drive to slam on their brakes.
- Unbelievable neck-downs: two four-lane roads merge into six lanes, and then neck down to three. DC-area drivers can’t handle one merge, let alone five fucking merges inside two miles.
- Counterintuitive exits, including the ever-popular left exit, so the speed demons can go flying right up the left side at Mach 3 and then freak out at the last second because the EXIT ONLY signs were actually telling the truth (that’s seven days straight - I wonder if that lane will be EXIT ONLY tomorrow?)
- A high-occupancy section that can go in only one direction at a time, which is always activated such that commuters traveling in the direction of the lightest traffic flow have an extra pair of lanes to drive in while ogling the gridlock on the heavy side.
- And my personal favorite: it’s covered wall-to-wall with Northern Virginia drivers, who drive like a bunch of self-centered entitled pricks who have their nanny, Congressman, and God Himself on speed dial and are talking to all three of them in conference call on their Bluetooth right now about how NOBODY is going to get in THEIR lane because THEY PAID FOR IT and FUCK ANYONE who gets near something THEY PAID FOR because it will probably hurt their property values or marginally impact their kid’s performance at the Lisa Simpson Type-A Academic Academy. Present company (most likely) excluded.
I already complained about the outer loop going around Norfolk (I-64) in a 2 year old thread, but it still amazes me that it loses like 8 lanes as you go west.
I want to know why VDOT can’t hire competent engineers. I mean, it’s not like we don’t have decent institutions of higher learning. The annual maze of dangerous traffic patterns caused by endless construction between Williamsburg and the Hampton Roads tunnel is for nothing because the interstate needs to be destroyed and rebuilt. I guess it isn’t good when highways are shaped like bowls and collect water from rain. The engineers blame VDOT and VDOT blames the engineers. Bush Gardens will be another treacherous summer excursion, requiring concentration and leaning forward – no radio – no distractions.
VDOT needs to look at the tunnels, too. Most are starting to look peaked. I don’t know if water leaking through the cracks is okay – is it? I just try to get out of those tunnels as fast as possible, the sooner the better, but it’s usually a crawl. I try to think pleasant thoughts about the array of welcome signs at the Virginia border.
Did you see in the article where it was supposed to have built-in deicing but that was cut so they could save a few pennies? :rolleyes:
Here’s an idea: if all you’re interested in is saving money, why don’t you build roads out of cardboard and old newspapers? I hear those are really cheap.
You ought to finish by nuking the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Gilmore was governor when the massive project began. The allegedly fiscally-conservative governor. A decision was made to save money by not installing automatic de-icing sprayers on the flyovers…the article deosn’t specifically blame Gilmore for that decision, but certainly he was against extra spending.
His being personally trapped in the iced-over interchange for 7.5 hours may be a delicious case of the chickens coming home to roost.
Sailboat
I live in Northern Virginia, and I believe this is an overly generous description of our drivers.
Sailboat
The Springfield Interchange and mixing bowl is the main reason that I will never live south of Springfield if I can help it. Of course, I-66 is a parking lot most weeknights as well.
Unfortunately, DC drivers and Maryland drivers are no better than Northern Virginia drivers.
Nova drivers are mean smug little bastards who are inattentive but at least they signal. Most of the DC and Maryland drivers I get the pleasure of dealing with on my commute don’t even do that much.
This is why I never travel North. Anything North of Fredericksburg is not where I want to be.
This crowning achievement of Virginia highway engineering is just a typical interchange in places where they take traffic seriously, like California. It’'s pathetic the way they’ve touted this thing, like it’s some sort of vindication for VDOT. Yeah, it’s good, but they’re just catching up to what should be the norm.
There are only a few alternate routes I can think of: Route 1, which is horrible and much more so if people are bailing from 95; Route 123, which is a bit better, but still bad if 95 is backed up; and maybe Route 17 up to I-66, which is very out of the way. If you want to get real squirrely you can go up the PW parkway and go through Clinton, but again, if 95 is backed up, that way will be slow, too. I haven’t found or heard of a decent way around that doesn’t involve going so far out of your way that it’s a negative return on your time in all cases except where there’s a multi-lane closure on 95. I live right south of the Occoquan and my wife works in Tysons Corner, and she’s tried every frigging way we can think of to try and whittle down her 1.5 hour commute. Nothing’s worked.
So, is there any bribe you’d take to spill your secret? 
Route 1 is horrible to drive on. Terrible. You should ALL avoid it at all costs. There be monsters! Seriously - there are roaming bands of highwaymen on Route 1 who will slaughter your family if you drive it.
After the Monroe Avenue exit, of course, it becomes completely safe and you are welcome to use it. But from the 14th Street Bridge to Monroe, I would advise leaving it totally free of cars.
Not that there is any self interest in this post at all.