Harder for me to enjoy because I recognize the rage that inspired it. It won’t abate until you change jobs, which I humbly suggest you make plans to do as soon as you can.
Perhaps not the way I did— from pizza to tech support— unless you’re a big fan of frying-pan-into-fire irony.
Why are you oppressing the otherly-valued? Can’t be livin’ white like some kinda Oreo (:p)
Hey, it could have been that gang banger he dissed, com back with his homies to pop a cap in his ass. You’d be careful about going too close to the door too if you lived in the 'hood. 
What an enjoyable pitting! Thanks.
/applauds
I hear you. I learned to hate people when I worked at K-Mart in high school. Every day was a new lesson in awe inspiring self-importance, breathtaking arrogance, and weapons grade stupidity.
Well done!
We make it a point to over-tip the pizza guy whenever we order one. Just to make up the karma points other losers take away.
Askthepizzaguy, that was one of the best-written rants I’ve ever read. Well done.
Aw, did somebody not get a tip?
Holy cow! Two dozen posts and no one has counter-pitted about delivery people expecting tips?
Oh wait. It’s too early for the offenderandi to be expected to get out of bed.
We would like to think that bad customers were in a single socioeconomic class but this is not the case. The cretins described in the OP exist in nice areas as well as bad ones.
Bravo, Askthepizzaguy, bravo!
One of the most well-delivered rants I have read in quite some time.
I hope someone gives you a brain and you are stuck living the rest of your lift regretting all the stupid things you have said.
In fact, come here, I’ll brain you.
I’m pretty sure he was joking.
While this is true, it was definitely more frustrating (and dangerous) to deliver to “ghetto” neighborhoods than middle-class neighborhoods and up. My experience was that there was a sort of upper-middle-class “sweet spot,” and when delivering to multi-million-dollar country club homes you were paradoxically more likely to be stiffed or undertipped by stingy rich douchebags, their airhead trophy wives or (worst of all) their chubby little spoiled brats listlessly presenting mommy or daddy’s check written out to the penny.
The best tippers tended to be service workers themselves, who generally didn’t live in the swankiest of digs.
Not entirely.
I delivered pizza for a year when I was in college. It’s not anybody’s dream job, but I can imagine worse ones, too. Had a couple pizzas stolen out of my car once. I even remember one evening it had snowed, and there was a hill I wasn’t sure I’d be able to drive back up so I walked the last hundred yards. No tip.
Some people don’t tip, and that kinda sucks. Some are very generous and that helps make up for the ones who don’t. I just don’t think it’s worth the level of vitriol in the OP. For a pitting of “the general public”, with allegations of anti-social, unhygienic, or downright illegal behavior, it mostly seems to boil down to Askthepizzaguy not getting a couple bucks for his trouble.
I liked this line:
And I was with you until the cracks at fat women and “ghetto trash.”
*<<holds up two signs, one “9”, the other “.3”>>
<<general cheering>>*
As someone who worked in the retail and service industry for 15 years … I fully support this pitting.
What is a delivery guy allowed to do in the case of the guy who basically refused to pay? I assume you ask before you hand over the pizzas, but do you just take them back?
Wow. I am in awe.
Jesus, who pissed on your pizza?