I don’t have cable. Channel 2, for some reason, can have horrible receptions. I grab the antennaes to adjust them, and the reception gets good. I twist it a bit, then remove my hands. Why is this?
Note, this is the GQ part of my question. I personally would like suggestions on how to make this happen without my hands on it, but it may get into a nether-forum. I choose to cross that bridge when I get there.
You remove your hands because you’re done? 
I always figured the human body’s natural conductivity acted as a larger antenna. You could probably get the same effect with an amount of aluminum foil equal to your body mass. Or one of those amplified antennaes.
Put potatoes on the ends of the rabbit ears. I lived that way for years. (Do change the potatoes now and then.
If you can see the screen while holding the antenna, seems like the problem is solved!
Haw! Haw! Maybe I’ll just connect the antennae to the tv with really long wires so I can hold it while in my recliner. For real, I’ll try the potato trick.
Channel 2 is broadcast in the neighborhood of around 50 MHz. Generally, a dipole antenna will be a good receiver of radio signals if each element is 1/4 wave long, thus forming a 1/2 wave antenna. 1/4 wave at 50 MHz is about 1.5 meters, so if you can add enough wire to the ends of the “ears” to make them a total of 1.5 meters long, in theory, your reception ought to improve.
Of course there’s other ways to improve the reception of your rabbit ears. The first and most important is to get them as far from the TV and other electronic devices as possible. TVs and other modern electronics emit small amounts of hash on a wide range of frequencies. Although weak, this RF noise is easily picked up if the antenna is close enough to it.
Orientation is also important. A dipole antenna (which is what rabbit ears are) is more sensitive in the two directions directly facing the V head-on, and much less from the edge. Rotating the antenna to face the direction of the TV transmitting antenna will improve your reception quite a bit. If you’re lucky, most or all of your TV is broadcast from a single location, and you’ll only need to make minor orientation changes to compensate for multipath interference (receiving signals from multiple directions due to reflections. This is what causes “ghosting”).
Finally, as you saw in the first part, length is important. The higher the channel you wish to receive, the shorter the elements should be. If you want to be precise about it, find the center frequency of the channel (this information is all over the web. Google “TV channel frequency”) and use the formula L = 300 / f, where L is the length in meters, and f is the center frequency of the signal you want to receive. Then divide this result by 4 to find the 1/4 wave length of each element. Happy watching!
We used to put soda cans (empty) on ours, worked very well too.
I’m reminded of “Assume Fox viewing positions!” from a Married With Children episode.
good one, nekosoft.
Road Rash, do you have fillings in your teeth?
I read somewhere that metal fillings can enhance radio reception so maybe the same applies for television reception.
Just an idea. Probably wrong.
Or you could get some old speaker cable, tie them to the antennae and string them up like Xmas lights. It worked a treat for my radio.