I received a letter from King County Animal Control...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

…stating that someone has complained that my animals(s) is annoying one or more of my neighbors by its noi2e, i.e., barking, yelping, crowing, or other loud noises. <insert assorted King County ordinances, including punishments of up to $1000 and/or imprisonment for up to 90 days for continued violations.>

Problem:

I don’t have any animals, unless you count a bunch of Sea Monkeys™. I do however have a number of children, and they have been know to pretend to be dogs, cats, cheetahs, elephants, bears, lions, and many other assorted wild and domesticated animals.

I have no idea who this letter was meant for, as no neighbor has ever approached me personally, nor left a note on my door, car, or any other written personal attempt to contact me, nor called me, nor any other indication that there is or ever has been a problem with these pets I do not have.

In fact, I have never noticed any neighbor dogs barking - at least since the yutz behind me stopped leaving his two yappy poodles outside 24/7. Now THAT was a problem. And he stopped at least 9 months ago.

I think I will call King County on Monday morning and inform them of the error. Maybe they’ll laugh. Goodness knows my nearest neighbors (none of whom have dogs either, but one is a police officer) laughed a lot when I showed them the official notice.

2

I wouldn’t mention the part about your kids. I mean, I’m sure they’re not what the letter was meant for, but it only clouds the issue.

Yes, call the office and tell them you have no animals. I would guess it would be no further problem.

3

Sounds like a typo. Perhaps 1234 North 5th Avenue instead of 1234 South 5th Avenue or something like that. Whoever took the call wrote down the wrong street and then looked up that wrong address - yours - to get your name.

I grew up in a neighborhood of parallel streets, named 123rd Street, 123rd Place, 124th Street, 124th Place, 125th Street, 125th Place and so on. We were forever getting mail for the people one block over, sometimes with our names and their addresses.