All right, so I haven’t washed my car in awhile. I’m lazy about that. I really didn’t think much about it until a few weeks ago, when an anonymous stranger wrote “WASH ME” in big bold letters on the trunk. A few days later, another “WASH ME” was written into the inch-thick dirt that I’m sure is preserving the paint.
Well, I can take a hint. So I went to the gas station to get it washed, but their car wash was out of order. I didn’t want this mysterious dust-tagger to think I was ignoring him, so underneath one of the “WASH” messages on my trunk, I wrote, “I WILL!”
But that wasn’t enough to placate this guy. The next morning, I found “WASH WASH WASH” written ALL OVER my car, on the doors, the fenders, the roof, the hood. He must have taken off at least half the dirt with his fingers alone!
Well, that tears it. I’m having my car dedicated as a National Historic Landmark as the Dirtiest Car in America. It really is a work of art, man. Someday I’ll have it buried in a time capsule so it can be put on display in a museum sometime in 2300.
I think you should refuse to wash your car simply on the basis that the guy who wrote in the dirt was painfully uncreative. When I wanted to entice my friend into washing his car, I wrote “I masturbate to goat porn” in big letters on his back window (he has a hatchback). Suffice to say, the next time I saw him, his car was a bit cleaner…
Oh god. I read this and learned just how disgusting potato salad looks on my monitor. Seriously, that’s not cool at all, even if it is horrendously funny.
My high school friends once wrote “Go back to Russia” on my car (there’s some context there that’s not really worth the time to explain). I thought it was pretty funny, until of course my mom noted that some people might think that I wanted the Russians living within the community to go back home, not that someone wanted me to go back to Russia. Fortunately this was during winter so a new layer of dirt settled over the vehicle quick enough before I was forced to bite the bullet and get a car wash.
You forgot to mention the value added used condoms, soiled linens and empty vodka bottle she included at no extra charge in the five or six digit price. As an artist, please excuse me while I go vomit.
I didn’t quite vomit on the moniter, thankyouverymuch FUB.
You get the idea
Apparantly Zenster’s vomiting as we speak.
This is a truly grotesque thread :rolleyes:
(1982 Volvo Wagon baby!). Once a month I hose it down in the morning. Let it air dry on my way to school.
