Thank you all so much!
Due to work emergencies and and a sick home computer I’ve been lurking the boards at work–something I rarely do, from ethics and the sheer improbablity of claiming I’m hooting, belly-laughing and throughly cracking up over budget worksheets.
You are all sick puppies, in sooooo many senses.
FWIW, my mom was the master of the silent sneeze; her head would barely bob. She also went deaf after a progressive series of ear infections. It needs to come out, but sheesh, your shirt? PANTS?
That’s why God invented tissues and blessed you w/ a non-dominant hand. Feel it comin’ on? Grab a tissue, put it in front of your face and let fly. So the sound cracks a few windows and buckles structural steel. Catch the cooties.
Use your non-dominant hand then throw the tissue away! Do not tuck it frugally away into your pocket to fester. Stuff into a potted plant if you have to. Don’t shake hands. Wash. Use one of those itsy bottles of sanitizers. (Wimpy? Wanna piece of my runny eyes, flowing sinuses, fever and phlegm-laden misery? Didn’t think so.)
If I have to sneeze or cough without a tissue nearby, I use my left hand to cover it up. At least that way, my right (shaking) hand will stay clean.
BTW, why would anyone use a handkerchief? I carried one as a teenager because my father insisted, but it’s pretty gross when you think about it. I mean, carrying your snot around in you pocket? And a teenager with one is worse, because you know it never got washed.