I'm tired of loud sneezers

There’s a radical new concept called covering your mouth when you sneeze, or sneezing on your arm, or otherwise not subjecting everyone within a 10-mile radius to your loud sneezing. This also helps keep your germs from getting everyone else sick.
I’m also tired of being expected to say “God bless you,” also. We don’t bless other bodily functions, like burping or farting, which are still gross but don’t spread germs the way that sneezing does.


Um, what?

Ok now here’s a pitting I can get behind. I don’t like loud sneezing either. It’s completely unnecessary. I go out of my way to muffle my sneezes as much as possible so that I don’t bother people, and yet I am surrounded by people who sneeze as loud as humanly possible. What is the point to this?

“Bless you” is an adorable anachronism and I have nothing against it personally. I prefer the Seinfeld, “You are soooo good looking” though!


Based on past Dope discussions, there seem to be two main justifications: 1) the sneezer is seized with the need to sneeze so suddenly that the explosion cannot be covered or minimized, and/or 2) the conviction (not yet supported by We$tern medicine) that stifling a sneeze builds up pressure in the antrums or other body cavities, threatening to implode the unfortunate victim into a drizzling heap of unexpended mucus.

I suspect there is also explanation 3) loud sneezers are healthy, vital people who cannot be expected to subdue their natural bodily functions for the satisfaction of repressed, disapproving society.


Bless you, my [del]pig[/del] child.

there is a difference between muffling a sneeze and trying to stop it! I say, go for it! But sneeze into your shirt or hands and TRY not to vocalize while you do it! It’s not that hard, I promise :smiley:

Sorry, mate. That was me. I do cover my mouth but my lungs are trained to reach the top of the house.

I once knew someone with the same gripe about the ‘bless you’ bit. Their proposal was to respond to a sneezing person with, “Fuck you, clown!”

You have my permission to use that.

Okay, so you all have insulted my wife, who, like her mother, has a 150db sneeze. On top of which, she’s a serial sneezer.

There’s also a difference between not even muffling, and actively vocalizing when you sneeze. I find muffled sneezes just as distracting as regular ones (i.e. not very distracting unless it’s several times a minute.) But the ones that have to yell Ahhhhhh-CHOOOOOOOuh! when they sneeze is where it really starts to get annoying.

If you hold in a sneeze your head could explode. I’m not going to risk that by muffling it. I’ll do my best to block the output, and turn away from others, but that’s it. You aren’t entitled to a world where you don’t hear sneezes.

Guilty. God, I love to sneeze. I really have to work for mine (I’m one of those genetic anomalies who has to look at a bright light to sneeze…and even then it’s not guaranteed) so when I get one, I’m going to enjoy it. I cover my mouth, but I don’t stifle it. If I smoked, I’d have a cigarette afterward.

More annoying are the people who completely swallow them or make ridiculous little mouse noises.

I block it. I don’t spray. But my sneezes are violent. I wish they weren’t. I have thrown my back out by sneezing. Just because you have a girly sneeze doesn’t mean I need to apologize.

suppressing a sneeze can cause damage to your body.

My wife’s is more like: aiiiii-YAAAAHHHHH!

Yes, exactly. Yelling with a sneeze is not mandatory! You can block the spray - and damned well better, anywhere near other people - to keep from spewing droplets everywhere, but fucking shut up. Loud expulsion of air happens; “ahCHOOOO!!!” is being a drama queen.

I’m not a fan of the “Bless you”.

I don’t hate people for saying it because I know they mean well.

My problem is that (for me) sneezes always come in two or more. So when someone says “bless you” after the first sneeze; I feel obligated to NOT sneeze again. And when I do, I’m left with sneeze guilt.

Stupid, I know.

There seems to be some disconnect with people and their vocal chords when sneezing. I don’t get it, but get exactly what the OP is talking about. There is just no need to vocalize when sneezing, and people are always saying they can’t help it, that’s just how they sneeze. No. That’s how they learned it - little babies and animals don’t vocalize when they sneeze - only people who have learned to do that, just learned it so young they can’t seem to figure out how to un-learn it.

My sneezes are loud and violent even when I cover my face. I sneeze from the soul.

I have a dog you need to meet. She makes these cute little growly noises before she sneezes. Adorable.
I have a friend who is a loud person in general. She laughs freely and talks to anyone and is generally the centre of the party and you can always find her in the room. However she has this tiny little lady like sneeze that is so at odds with the rest of her persona and personality that it’s more noticable than a 150db sneeze.