I wake up with a headache every morning. I’m sad, angry, and trying not to be a danger to myself or others. Wish me luck, because I’m very near the breaking point. I despise everyone who defends trump. I’m so disappointed in people and our leaders. I cry over it. I want to check out, but I can’t.
Well, I took my own advice yesterday and went for a bike ride for a couple hours mid-day. There was a massive Trump parade coursing thru town, people honking and hollering and cheering each other, big flags flapping atop and behind big trucks and sedans alike. I have never seen anything like this before for a politician. This is bordering on personality cult.
My mood is a bit more somber now. I fear no matter what happens tomorrow, we’re screwed. 40% of Americans have been brainwashed and need deprogramming. Even with a best-case scenario of a Biden win and a blue Senate and House, a large number of people in this country are still going to be living in an alternate world without the benefit of facts, science, and truth, and will be acting/behaving on that lack of information.
Leftwix, my heart goes out to you. I’m not feeling great myself, but I am stable. I do social justice work so I am used to demoralizing realities. Part of the way I cope is to find meaning in other things. I have my job, my family, my writing, hell - even my video games. I have to build up my resilience to setbacks or I am worthless. We voted, we did our part. We can’t change the outcome. Now I have to put down the burden, at least for now. As my therapist says, “Don’t suffer twice.”
I’m having a hard time putting one foot in front of the other right now (metaphorically speaking). I’m basically good for nothing at the moment. I hope to feel better after tomorrow, but we’ll see.
I haven’t gotten any calls or txt messages encouraging me to vote. But I do get multiple txts and maybe a call, every day, asking me to volunteer to call or txt people encouraging them to vote. Such is life in a state where votes don’t count, just a few miles from a state where they are crucially important.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m better today. I think everything will go as it should. I’m praying hard and fast. I voted this morning, and I found a dollar in the street, that’s a good sign.
I’m now looking forward to the counting being over. I have plenty of chocolate, and took some Valium earlier.
Thank you for reminding me I have a stock of Ativan.
Well, Hallowe’en month is finally over. One out of two is break even.
Fittingly, Tuesday Night is the night I have to take the trash out.
Finally I can go back on Youtube and not have to suffer through campaign ads.